I lay there on the ground surrounded by chunks of my beautiful hair and unable to even cry. I’d done everything right, and still he’d gotten to me. He stood over me laughing for a few moments and then stormed away, jumping into his car and leaving me there. I guess I should have been thankful he didn’t beat me, but what he’d done was worse. I’d lose my job bartending because no one would want to see someone so hideous serving them drinks. I’d have no way to make enough money to even try to start a new life.
Slowly, I got to my knees and stood up. He’d left me with my cell phone, so at least I could call Gemma for a ride and not have to be humiliated by having to walk or take a cab. I knew by the horror in her eyes when she found me that Aaron had succeeded in what he wanted to do. Now nobody would want me.
I stood in front of Kane’s bathroom mirror and stared at my reflection. My hair, the part of me I’d always loved the most, lay flat against my head in uneven layers. Gone were the long blond waves that had framed my face, and in their place was a mess perfectly suited to who I really was. I touched the ragged ends and looked away, saddened by the reality of me.
A mess of a woman abused by one man and now imprisoned by another.
GEMMA STOPPED at my post on her way out for the night¸ her expression full of worry. “Do you know where Abbi is? I’ve tried to call her half a dozen times tonight and she never answers. Did you see her?”
I looked down at my monitors to avoid her stare. “She’s fine. Don’t worry about her.”
“Fine? Don’t worry? Did something happen at The Carousel Club?”
“She’s safe and sound. No need to worry.”
Unwilling to take my curt answers for what they were worth, she tapped on the desk in front of me. “Kane, where is she safe and sound? You left here after I told you where she was and she’s not answering her phone. I want to know what’s going on.”
I took a deep breath and looked up at her. “I brought her back here. She’s in my apartment.”
“You brought her back? As in took her out of The Carousel Club and brought her here? She was okay with that?”
I returned her stare with one of my own. “Have a good night, Gemma.”
A smile slowly spread across her lips. “You like her. That’s why you were so difficult from the moment you met her¸ isn’t it?”
“Goodnight, Gemma.”
She caught my arm in her hold and squeezed gently, getting my attention. “I need you to promise me something. Don’t hurt her. I’m not talking about physical hurt. She’s tough. She’s learned to handle that kind of pain. But she can’t take you breaking her heart, Kane.”
“I just brought her back here to make sure she didn’t get hurt at that club. She didn’t belong there. That was it.”
“I’ve seen the way you are with the women here, Kane. You’re distant and cold at times. As a boss, it’s not hard to deal with. It’s actually okay since you leave us alone. That iciness outside of work can hurt, though. I need you to remember that with her. She’s sweet, and men want that. You want to protect her. I get it. But if you can’t take care of her heart, don’t do this knight in shining armor thing. She can stay with me as long as she needs to.”
“Gemma…”
“Just promise me, please. I can’t leave here unless you promise you’re going to take care of her.”
“Okay. I promise I’ll take care of her.”
“I’m trusting you, Kane. You’ve never been a bad man in my mind. Don’t do anything to change that opinion.”
Gemma left me standing there feeling confused. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I wanted to protect Abbi. All that would do is end up with us making a mess of our lives. I couldn’t let her go back to that club, though. At the very least, I had to make right what I’d done when I didn’t hire her to dance for me.
I opened the door to my apartment slowly and cautiously looked in, just in case Abbi lay in wait for me, still furious about my leaving her hours earlier. I heard nothing and stepped in to look around but didn’t see any sign of her. Spying her lying on the bed in the next room, I walked in and saw she still wore my shirt but her long blond hair was gone. In its place was short hair that looked like it had been chopped off.
What had happened?
My hand hovered over her head to touch her roughly cut hair, but instead I just pulled the sheet up to cover her naked legs. She moaned softly at the touch of the fabric against her skin and curled her arms under her before going back to sleep. I’d prepared myself for more of her anger, but I hadn’t been ready to see her like this—so vulnerable and innocent there in my shirt and lying in my bed.
Quietly, I stripped down until all I wore were my boxer briefs. Leaving my clothes in a pile in the corner, I grabbed an old blanket from the closet and spread it out on the floor next to the bed. Abbi mumbled something in her sleep, and I stood silently watching her delicate mouth move, my body suddenly very aware of her nearly naked body just a few feet away.
What was I doing? All the bells had gone off in my head from the moment I met her, but still there I stood watching her innocently sleep in my bed. Why hadn’t I just done the same thing I’d done for years?
My cock ached as I stared down at her. I’d known that first night she’d make me want things I couldn’t have. Things I shouldn’t have. But there I was standing over her, my hands itching to touch her hair and her skin just to know what they felt like as she lay next to me.
She looked so small there in my twin bed, the sheet tucked up near her chin and her legs pulled up under her. How could anyone want to hurt someone so small and helpless?
I lowered myself to the floor and lay back against the hard wood beneath me. Staring up at the ceiling, I tried to focus on anything but Abbi lying just two feet away. I ran through the reports I had to complete and send to Olivia by the end of the week, but the numbers got lost among thoughts of Abbi’s soft perfume filling the air around me. It smelled like baby powder and some kind of summertime flower mixed together.
As the minutes ticked by, everything about her preoccupied my mind until all I wanted to do was crawl into bed next to her. What was I thinking bringing her back here? These rooms kept me away from the rest of the world, and now here she was in my bed wearing my shirt and a G-string.
Fuck. This was a mistake. How could I have thought I could have her so close and still stay away? I should have just left her at The Carousel Club, but I couldn’t. Just seeing her on that stage with those men leering up at her made me sick to my stomach.