Abbi took me in her arms and kissed me. “That’s not true. I want him. I want the man who fights for me, who protects me. I want the man who’s afraid to lose control with me even though I’m not afraid of that.”
“I wish you would be afraid, angel, although it wouldn’t make a difference now. You’re inside me, part of me. I couldn’t give you up now even if I had to. It would be like losing an arm or a leg.”
“Kane, I love you. I love every part of you, including whatever demons you have inside you. I just want you to promise you won’t do anything to get yourself in trouble over me. Why is that so hard for you?”
“Because I didn’t do it for Holly and she paid the ultimate price. I’ll never make that mistake again. If it means I go back to jail, as long as I know I stopped someone from hurting you, I can do whatever time they force me to do. She suffered because of me. I won’t let that happen to you. I love you too much.”
She tilted her head back and looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “Why me? Why did you have to pick me, someone who always seems to make people angry so they want to hurt me? If only you picked a Gemma or an Olivia, none of this would be happening. You’d be happy and never have to worry that someone’s going to do something to make your demons come out.”
“I didn’t pick you, angel. You showed up one night and my heart never had a chance.”
“If I never let Gemma talk me into that interview, you’d be safe and happy.”
I kissed her forehead and shook my head. “No part of my life at Club X has ever been safe. Every night I run the risk of being led away in handcuffs. And I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t really living. It was more just existing.”
“Will it always be like this? I know you don’t like to think about the future, but it’s what makes me happy.”
“Then it makes me happy, angel. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. All I know is that I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure every morning you have a reason to give me one of your beautiful smiles and every night you have one of those smiles on your face as you drift off to sleep in my arms.”
Abbi was quiet for a long time, but then she said sweetly, “You never talk about your happiness. Why? I want to know what to do to make you happier.”
“Just having you by my side makes me the happiest man in the world. I have everything else I could want. Money, possessions, a successful business. Everything people think makes a person happy. But I’d willingly give up all of it as long as I know when I reach down to take your hand in mine it will always be there.”
She weaved her fingers through mine and lifted my hand to her lips. “I will always be there to take your hand. Always, Kane.”
“Then no matter what happens, we’ll be good.”
I believed that, but I knew something was scaring Abbi. I didn’t know what it was, but when I found out, whoever was behind it better hope she didn’t get hurt.
Abbi kissed me goodbye at seven o’clock and promised to be home as soon as Gemma stopped crying, but I still saw fear in her eyes, no matter how many times she told me she was fine. I wanted to believe she’d told me the truth. My gut told me otherwise, though.
I settled in for a night at home with Angel, who seemed content to wrap herself around my right ankle as I sat on the couch to watch TV. Flipping through the channels proved to be a waste of time, and I closed my eyes intending to think about what to surprise Abbi with when she came home.
Instead, my mind drifted back in time.
“Tell me again how we’re going to move to California and live on the beach. Can we really do it, Kane?” Holly asked as she squeezed my hand tightly in excitement.
I pulled her away from her front porch and toward the street. “Shhh. We don’t want anyone to find out or they’ll try to stop us.”
“I don’t care what my parents say. Your mother’s okay with you leaving, isn’t she?”
“My mother doesn’t care one way or another, but your father will come after me with a bat if he finds out, Holly.”
She broke away from my hold and ran down the street giggling, her long brown hair flying behind her. “I don’t care who finds out, Kane Jackson. We’re going to be beach bums and live happily ever after in sunny California!”
I caught up with her as we hit the intersection and took her hand in mine. I loved when she was like this—light and sweet to my darkness and anger. Eight months had gone by since that first day I saw her at that ice cream shop, and every day I loved her more than the day before.
“Where are you running off to?” I asked with a smile.
“I want to take you to see something I found the other day. It’s behind Center Street.”
I followed her to an alleyway that led to where her surprise for me was and saw a Harley parked in front of someone’s house. A black soft tail, it was a beautiful bike just like the one I’d always dreamed of having someday. Since my mother and I were poor, someday would be a long ways off, but I could dream.
She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest. “You’d look so good on that bike, Kane. We could ride out cross country on it.”
“We could, but I think we’re going to have to find another way.”
She gazed up at me with longing in her soft brown eyes. “Someday we’ll have one of those, won’t we?”
“Someday, I promise.”
I would have promised her I’d take the stars out of the sky for her. All she had to do was ask. Holly gave me something I’d never had before. Love. For that, I’d do anything to make her happy. When we finally left Tampa after she graduated, we’d get married and spend the rest of our lives together. After a life filled with hatred, I’d found the happiness I’d always dreamed of.
“Let’s go down to the beach tonight. Melly said they’re having a party near her house.”
As much as I didn’t want to spend the night drinking on the beach, I smiled and nodded my agreement. That’s what I was supposed to do—make her happy—so that’s what I did. Her happiness gave me mine.
My mind raced through memories of her like a painful movie made just for me. The birthday she got me my lip piercing. The warm summer night in my bedroom when I took her virginity and gave her mine. The feeling of her in my arms. The sound of her laughter. The smell of vanilla in her hair when she cuddled close to me and laid her head on my chest. The taste of her on my lips.