But tomorrow always came without him. My face healed over time until there was no evidence of what Mason had done to me, but still I couldn’t go back home.
Three weeks went by without another word from him, and each day became harder to deal with. Gemma and Olivia tried to keep my spirits up, reminding me to keep in mind that at least he hadn’t been arrested, but I didn’t want at leasts or anything else that was supposed to make me feel better.
I only wanted him.
By the beginning of May, four weeks had passed and getting out of bed seemed like a useless attempt at pretending I was happy. Even worse, I came down with a bug and couldn’t keep a thing in my stomach. My misery was complete. I was alone without the man I loved and not even sure I’d ever see him again, away from my home, and sick.
One morning as I knelt over the toilet, disappointed that even though I’d felt better the night before whatever this was had come back with a vengeance again, I realized in all the time I’d been there at that house I’d never had my period. Standing at the bathroom mirror, I counted back to the last time I had and the last time Kane and I made love and the answer became obvious.
I didn’t have the flu. I was pregnant.
Behind me, Gemma knocked on the door. “Not feeling any better this morning? I thought you’d shaken it last night.”
I rinsed my mouth and walked out past her to sit on the bed. My legs felt like they were made of rubber and would give out at any moment. My hands began to shake as I thought about how I would break this news to him.
“Olivia’s bringing up some toast in a minute. Maybe you should get under the covers. You’re shaking, honey.”
I hung my head and sighed. How was I going to have a baby when its father might go to prison any day?
What a mess my life was.
Gemma sat down next to me and rubbed my back. “Why so sad? It’ll be gone in a few days.”
“No, it won’t. This isn’t the flu, Gem. I’m pregnant.”
I heard her gasp and then she hugged me tightly as she made a squealing noise in my ear. “Oh Abbi! That’s wonderful! Wait until Kane hears. He’ll be over the moon!”
Turning to look at her, I couldn’t fathom what the hell she was so happy about. “Do you never see anything but the positive side of life? I’m pregnant, living here away from Kane, who may be hauled off to jail at any time. Could there be a worse time to bring a baby into our lives?”
Gemma kissed me and jumped up off the bed. Spreading her arms wide, she smiled and said, “I’ve been waiting for a sign for weeks. This is it. Finally, some good news out of all of this. A baby is the best news ever too. When are you going to tell him?”
“I have no idea. I haven’t heard from him in a month. At this rate, I’ll have the baby before we see each other again. And I can’t write to him anyway, at least not until the police stop looking at him.”
“You can tell Olivia and she can tell him,” she suggested.
“No. I want him to find out from me, not secondhand, so don’t say a thing to her, okay?”
“Of course.” Gemma looked like she was thinking of a solution and then pointed at me excitedly. “I got it! You could ask her to give him a message from you that only he would understand.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Think of something only he would know so you can tell him. Imagine how happy he’s going to be when he finds out. After weeks of all the police stuff and being away from you, he’ll be thrilled to find out the good news.”
“No. Then he’ll risk coming here to see me and all that time away from each other will be for nothing. No. I won’t tell him until he comes back to me on his own.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, and promise me you won’t say a thing. I’d never forgive myself if everything was ruined because of this.”
With a frown, she nodded. “I promise.”
I knew Gemma would have a hard time keeping this a secret, but thankfully, I didn’t think she ever saw Kane either so there’d be no chance she’d be able to tell him. I just had to hope she wouldn’t break her promise and tell Olivia.
I SAT in Cash’s office with him and Stefan as he made his daily call to the lawyer to find out the latest news on the investigation into Mason’s death. Six weeks had gone by since that night, and although I didn’t regret what I’d done, I did regret that it meant I had to be away from Abbi for so long. Listening to Olivia’s reports about her nearly broke my heart. She may have been fooling Olivia and Gemma into believing she was okay, but my gut told me otherwise.
I knew my angel. She was going through everything I was, and I wasn’t there for her, the strength I’d promised her when she needed it most.
Cash hung up the phone and began talking, but my mind was miles away with Abbi. Stefan nudged me out of my daydreaming, and I looked up to see them both grinning like they’d heard a funny joke and I’d missed it.
“Sorry. My mind was somewhere else.”
“No problem. I’ve got good news. Jessup says it looks like they’re onto a different line of investigation. Seems none of us panned out, even though we’d been paying him every month and you looked like an obvious suspect because of what happened with Jethro.”
“That’s great! But we were all suspects?” Stefan asked.
“Yes. Since we were paying him protection every month, we’d have a good reason to want him dead,” Cash answered. “That it overlooks the reality that if he’s dead we have no one to help us didn’t seem to occur to the police.”
“So I’m in the clear?”
“Looks like it.”
The idea of finally being able to go back to my life slowly sunk into my brain. I could return to Abbi now and our life together. A sense of relief washed over me. Six weeks of worrying every day that I’d be taken away to jail finally over.
“I want to thank both of you for all that you’ve done during this. I couldn’t have done this alone.”
Cash smiled and nodded his head. “This is what family does, Kane. You’re our brother. We protect each other.”
“Yeah, you’re blood,” Stefan continued. “When one of us is in trouble, he can always count on his brothers.”
“Thanks. But what’s going to happen to the club? We’ve been closed ever since Mason’s man in the police department didn’t get his payment three weeks ago. What are we going to do?”