“Was your husband like him—I mean with the demons like Kane has?” I asked, wanting to know more about his background he’d never really wanted to talk about with me.
“The demons in Kane come from his mother,” Alexandria said sharply as she walked away.
There alone on the porch I looked off in the distance, wanting to see Kane’s car. Had I made a mistake? No, I couldn’t let him stay with me just because of the baby. He deserved the happiness he gave me, and I couldn’t give that to him.
It was better this way.
The first letter came four days later. Alexandria brought it to me as I lay in bed crying with Angel. I knew the minute she held out the envelope that he’d found out where I was. But why hadn’t he come to get me?
She left me alone and with trembling hands, I opened the letter and read the words as the tears rolled down my cheeks.
Angel,
I can’t go on without you. Whatever I need to do to convince you I love you, I’ll do it.
Kane
I wanted to believe I wouldn’t ruin his life, but I couldn’t help thinking I was what brought out those demons in him. Naturally protective, he’d only find more battles to fight with me. I couldn’t do that to him. He deserved to be happy.
That night I cried myself to sleep with Angel cuddled next to me, and the next morning when I awoke there was another letter on my nightstand. I knew he’d been there. Maybe he’d even come to my room while I slept. That he knew where I was and wasn’t coming to get me made me think I was right, no matter what his letter said.
I held the second envelope in my hand, wondering if I should read it at all. What good would any of this do when being with me would only hurt him? I thought of how happy he’d looked that day he showed me our little house, and as my heart broke at how much I missed him and our life, I read his letter.
Angel,
I’m lost without you. Don’t leave me to live this life alone.
Kane
I wanted to write back and tell him I was lost without him. I wanted to tell him how I spent every minute of my days missing how it felt when he held me in his arms and protected me from the world and every night I lay in my bed alone wishing he was next to me.
His third letter was waiting for me when I awoke the next day, and I didn’t know how I would go on if he kept breaking my heart. With every word he wrote me, I was beginning to think I’d made a mistake hiding from him.
Abbi,
I can’t go on like this. I know about the baby, but maybe it’s better he or she never knows what I am. I’m sorry.
Kane
Oh, God! How could I spend the rest of my life without him? I turned on my phone to call him and saw dozens of texts, all from him. I read each and every one of them and sobbed as I realized how much he was hurting. I could only hope that it wasn’t too late.
I sat there in bed listening to his phone ring once, twice, three times. Had I waited too long and he’d realized what I’d feared all along? I held my breath as my heart slammed in my chest at the thought that I’d lost him, but finally he answered.
“I miss you, Kane.”
Like hearing my voice was all he needed to be happy, he said quietly, “Abbi…”
I wanted to be next to him, to have his arms around me. “I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t want to ruin your life.”
“Angel, you could never ruin my life. You are my life.”
My words caught in my throat as I sobbed. “I want to go home to our little house with the squeaky screen door, Kane. Come take me home.”
“Abbi, I’m no good. You don’t need someone like me.”
“Don’t say that! I do! Our baby needs you. I can’t do this without you.”
“What child wants a father like me? Like the kind of man I am?”
The tears streamed down my face as the real fear that I was losing him settled into my heart. “Kane, don’t leave me here all alone without you. I want to come home. Please take me back to our little house.”
The phone stayed silent for so long I wasn’t even sure he was still there, but then he said the words that made me happier than I thought I could ever be again.
“Okay, angel. I’ll take you home.”
Alexandria held my hand as I stood on the front porch waiting for Kane. She hadn’t said anything when I told her it was time for me to go home, but I had a sense that my decision had made her happy. At the sight of Kane’s black Mustang coming down the road toward the house, I squeezed her hand tightly and held Angel to me, suddenly worried about seeing the man I loved again.
“It’s okay, Abbi. He loves you. There’s no reason to be scared.”
I turned to look at her and saw the same sympathy in her dark brown eyes that I’d seen since the night I arrived here. It had been a source of comfort in all the time I stayed at this house, and now it calmed me when I needed it most.
“What if nothing has changed and everything I fear comes true?”
She cradled my cheek and smiled. “Do you love him?”
“I do. I’m only happy when I know he’s happy. That’s love, isn’t it?”
“It is. So if you love him and you’ve accepted who he is, there’s nothing to fear. Once you truly accept who the man you love is, you can handle anything that comes your way.”
“I don’t want to mess this up. Kane’s the best thing to come into my life in a long, long time.”
Alexandria smiled and pulled me close to hug me. “Just be yourself. He loves you, so take one day at a time and stand with him against his demons.”
I could do that.
Straightening my clothes, I watched as the car stopped but Kane wasn’t driving. Stefan got out of the car and walked toward us wearing an expression that told me something was very wrong.
“Why isn’t Kane here? What happened?” I asked frantically.
Alexandria took my hand in hers to calm me, but even she was frightened. “Stefan, why you here?”
“Abbi, I need you to come with me. I’ll tell you everything, but we need to go.”
I read the fear in his eyes and panicked. “What’s happened? Is he alright?”
Stefan forced a smile and nodded. “He’ll be fine. We’ll make sure everything’s taken care of, but for now, I need you to come with me.”
Turning, I looked at Alexandria, my eyes pleading with her to make Stefan answer my questions. She understood instantly, and said, “Stefan, you need to tell her what happened now. She deserves to know.”