I let the hot water soothe my raw nerves. I’m sure that Declan will walk back through the front door any moment. He’s probably smoothing things over with Lorenzo now, working out some kind of deal. By nightfall, this will all be behind us. Then we can deal with the whole me-being-in-love-with-him thing, and what that means for us. Surely, we’re beyond any silly contract by now?
Wrapped up in a towel, I go to locate my clothes among the tumble of Declan’s bed sheets. I’m too nervous to even venture across the hall to my own suite. I snap out the comforter, looking for last night’s lingerie. But as I let the bedclothes fall back into place, a single sheet of paper flutters through the air, landing lightly on the floor. It must have been hidden somewhere between the sheets this whole time.
I snatch up the sheet and feel my heart in my throat. It’s a note, in Declan’s handwriting. Thank god—maybe it’ll give me some clue as to where he is right now. I should have known that he wouldn’t disappear without leaving a message to put my mind at ease. I hug the towel against my naked body and sit down on Declan’s bed, poring over his note:
My dear Kassie,
I know that you’re probably worried about me. I’m sorry to have slipped out before you were awake. The last thing I want is to make this ordeal any harder on you. At least take comfort in the fact that this whole nightmare is almost over, at last.
You told me last night that you love me. Nothing could make me happier and devastate me more than knowing that. The truth is, Kassie, that I love you too. I knew from the start that I was going to fall for you, but I was holding out hope that you wouldn’t feel the same way. It isn’t fair that you should waste your love on someone as undeserving as me. Especially because I’ll never get the chance to return that love the way I’d like to.
By the time you find this note, things will have been set into motion that cannot be undone. I’ve gone to find Lorenzo, to agree to fight in my fourth match today. After what happened to you and Kelly last night, I knew this was the only option. I’ll give Lorenzo what he wants, the club will get its money, and you’ll finally be safe.
I couldn’t tell you about my arrangement with Lorenzo, because you’d never look at me the same way again, knowing the truth. The fights I’ve agreed to are not typical boxing matches. They’re part of an underground series of fights that only end in one fighter’s death. I’ve fought in three matches. Killed three men with my bare hands. I’m a monster, but this is nothing new.
Not even the club knows this, but Lorenzo has changed his demands for me going into this final fight. I am to lose, throw the fight. To let myself be killed for the sake of Lorenzo’s bottom line. Only if I lose will the club get its money. I tried to back out of this fight, to take the financial hit, because of you, Kassie. I didn’t want to die, having only just met you. But after seeing what danger I’ve put you in, I know now that my dying is the best thing for you in the long run. I know that you’d stay here with me if you had the chance, and that I’d let you. You deserve a better life than the one I can give you.
You’ll still get the money to start your website. Those funds were never hanging in the balance. When I said in your contract that you’d lose everything should you fall in love with me, I was talking about the fact that I’d be dead by the end of the summer. I’m so sorry that my passing is going to cause you pain. But know that this is the best thing for your future. You’re going to do amazing things, Kassie...you were my last chance at redemption. I’m only sorry that I won’t be around to share your incredible life with you.
With all my love,
Dec
I let the note slip from between my fingers. It floats down to the ground like a whisper as the world spins madly around me. This letter was Declan’s suicide note. He’s gone off to die for the sake of his club. For the sake of my future.
Fuck that.
“Kelly!” I cry out, tearing into Declan’s closet, “I need to get to the Forty-Five Club. Right now.”
“What's going on?” she says, poking her head into the bedroom, “Sam told us to wait here.”
“Read that,” I tell her, nodding to the note.
She scans the message and I manage to locate some tight jeans and a cropped black halter. When I turn back to Kelly, her eyes have gone wide with fright and sorrow.
“Oh, Kass...” she whispers, “I’m so—”
“Don’t say you’re sorry,” I tell her, shaking my head, “He’s not dead yet. He’s not going to die. I won’t let him.”
“But he said—”
“I don’t give a shit what he said in any goddamn note,” I cut her off, “I’ve lost just about every person I’ve ever loved, except for you. I’m not about to lose him.”
“What are you going to do?” Kelly asks.
“I have no idea,” I tell her, “But I’m going to need backup, that’s for sure. You stay here while I go round up Dante’s Nine.”
“Like hell,” Kelly snaps, springing to her feet, “I’m coming with you.”
“Kel—”
“I'm not going to stay here and be a helpless sitting duck,” she insists, “Let me come to the club with you, Kassie.”
“Fine, but I still think you'll be safer here.” I tell her, going to pluck up Declan’s note and fetch my gun, “Let’s go pay ours boys a visit, shall we?”
It takes a bit of convincing, but eventually we’re able to recruit Franklin to our cause. Once I tell him that Declan’s life is seriously in danger, he finally agrees to give us a lift to the Forty-Five Club. I’m not about to jump into a cab with Lorenzo’s mobsters crawling all over the city, after all.
I have to give the old doorman credit, he knows how to put the pedal to the metal when need be. He ferries us through the chaotic dusk like a pro. It makes me wonder if perhaps Franklin hasn’t put in some years as an outlaw himself?
We spin into the parking lot of the Forty-Five Club and leap out of the car. I burst into the bar ahead of the others, looking around for Declan’s brothers. But the bar is nearly empty, save for Saul, Dani and the girls.
“Where are they?” I demand, marching up to the bar.
“Calm down, Kassie,” Shelly says, “Where’s the fire, girl?”
“I need to see the guys,” I tell Dani, as Kelly and Franklin step into the bar after me.