I knew what she was wondering about. Why hadn’t I called her into my office for our usual fuck sessions? “Hey, Lo. I’m good. Same old, same old. You know how it is.”
She bit her lower lip either to signal her nervousness or to look sexy and said quietly, “Are you busy? Do you want me to come back later tonight?”
“No. I’m fine. Do you need anything for the bar or have a problem with the schedule?”
Her expression told me she was confused. I’d never acted so businesslike with her. From the first night, I’d always been all about getting in her pants.
Lola took a few steps toward my desk and stopped. Looking down toward her fingers fidgeting near where her black skirt hit the tops of her thighs, she frowned and asked in a voice barely above a whisper, “Is something wrong, Stefan? Did I do something…?” She let her sentence fade away before she mentioned us together.
“No. You’re golden out there. I don’t have a better bartender than you, Lo.”
She smiled and looked up at me. “Even Shay? She’s good, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, she’s good too, but even she knows you’re the best out there.”
As I finished saying the last word, Lola’s smile fell away, and I watched her shoulders sag slightly. “Oh. Thanks. I try.”
Instantly, I felt like I should change the topic. “You’re here early. Want to get a jump on the night?”
“Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about something, but I think you answered my question even before I asked it.”
I knew where this was going, but I didn’t help her. It was shitty of me, but I let her stand there wearing her heart on her sleeve and did nothing to make her feel better. Kane and Cash may have thought I had to sleep with her to protect us, but at that moment, I didn’t want to follow their rules. I’d sleep with who I fucking wanted, not who they deemed necessary.
She turned to leave but stopped just as she reached the door. “Stefan, why don’t you want to do anything with me anymore?”
Surprised at her directness, I knew by the hurt in her voice that I’d underestimated Lola’s feelings for me. I searched for a way to tell her I didn’t want to sleep with her anymore, but I couldn’t be that cruel. A lie was the only way out, and I had to play this right.
Standing, I moved from behind my desk and walked over to her. She looked up at me with those big eyes full of fear at what I might say. Kane’s words echoed in my mind, so I constructed a lie vague enough to sound truthful but still nice enough not to hurt her. Hopefully, that would be enough to keep her father happy.
“Lo, you know how it is with us. On and off and all that. You know I still like you, don’t you?”
She reached out and ran her fingertips down my forearm as she stared up at me. A look of relief came over her, and she said, “I thought maybe you met someone and that’s why you never call for me to come in here anymore. But then I saw Kat and Jana last night…”
“You know me, Lo. If anyone knows how I am, it’s you. I’m not the ”meet someone” kind of guy.”
“Oh. You don’t think you’ll ever settle down?”
I smiled and winked at her. “No way. I like being me too much.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was telling Shay the other night. No one could blame you for being like you are, Stefan. You have everything going for you. Settling down would be like denying yourself things you shouldn’t have to.”
Curious why she’d have to defend me to Shay, I didn’t stop myself from asking, “Why? Did she say something?”
Lola moved into defending her new friend. “Oh, no. It wasn’t anything bad, Stefan. She’s just not used to how you are is all. I told her someone like you who’s been blessed with all the good things you have going for you shouldn’t be expected to settle down with just one woman.”
“Shay thought I should?”
She paused for a moment and said, “She doesn’t understand you like I do. She likes her men to be the kind to settle down. She’d never see what I tried to explain to her. To Shay, even a man with looks and money should want only one woman.”
“Well, then thank God we don’t like each other, huh? Sounds like we’d both be miserable.”
“Shay’s nice, but she’s not like us, Stefan. We live this life because we love it. She’s only working here on her way to bigger and better things. She’s good at it, but she doesn’t love it like we do.”
Lola left my office placated by my vague lie, but I couldn’t help but be bothered by what she said about Shay. Were Lola and I really that much alike and so different from her? Was that why Shay seemed to be able to brush me off so easily after a night of great sex?
The idea that I’d finally meet a woman I couldn’t have had always been impossible to me. Now it seemed entirely likely that Shay Callahan was that woman.
EVEN THOUGH I’d given Carrie my solemn promise that I’d put any thoughts of going further with my plan to play Stefan March completely out of my mind, I couldn’t stop myself. Part of me had some strange need to prove to him that he’d finally met a woman in this world who could stop him in his tracks and make him want to give up his player ways. Another part, though, craved being with him again. I had to admit that part confused me. I didn’t know how, but Stefan had wormed his way into my thoughts to the point that I liked being around him, and sleeping with him had only intensified those feelings.
That both parts were entirely incompatible wasn’t lost on me either. Sometimes when he was nearby, I had to remind myself that all of this was just a game because he’d do something cute or look at me with those deep brown eyes and all I could think of was when we’d be alone again.
Hiding the fact that the man had a serious effect on me became a full time job. I didn’t want him to know how I felt, but keeping it from Lola and the rest of the Club X staff was just as important. I didn’t need to create some huge issue at my job and leave hurt feelings all over the place.
My skill at concealing my desire for Stefan wasn’t very impressive, if Lola’s sideways glances and repeated questions were any indication. At first, I just brushed her off with an eye roll or noncommittal shrug when she noticed me staring across the room at him. When she began asking what I thought of Stefan, I’d initially found it pretty easy to rage on about his male chauvinist pig tendencies. I wasn’t lying. Between his borderline sexual harassment of every single female who worked under him and the fact that I knew he’d slept with more than a few of my coworkers, sneering at the thought that he was anything more than just a player was almost second nature to me.