I turned and saw Alexandria March’s home all decorated for the Christmas holiday and looking like something out of a design magazine. Its Victorian charm had been amped up about a thousand percent by the evergreen boughs draped over the top of every window and the tiny white lights that twinkled along the verandah railing. Crowds of people milled about on the large wrap-around porch, and it looked like everyone in Tampa had turned out for Cash and Olivia’s party.
Dressed in a silver strapless gown Carrie had loaned me from the boutique and wearing my hair in an upsweep, I felt like an entirely different person than the Shay I’d always been in jeans or shorts and a t-shirt. Being a different person sounded like a good idea as I walked up the stairs to enter the house since the person I really was felt like she stuck out like a sore thumb.
Like everyone at the party knew what had happened between Stefan and me and were staring at me judging me for the fool I was.
The outside of the house may have looked like it belonged on the cover of a magazine, but the inside was even more breathtaking. Designed as a Victorian home, it had obviously been updated but in a way that integrated the Victorian style with modern beauty. The heaviness of the Victorian look had been replaced with the lightness of white painted walls and woodwork. By the time I made it down the main hallway and into the kitchen, I was so engrossed with admiring the décor that I’d forgotten where I was and who would be there.
“I’m glad to see you came,” a deep, raspy voice I instantly recognized as Kane’s said.
Turning around, I saw him leaning against the wall just inside the kitchen looking distinctly uncomfortable. Dressed in a black suit and shirt with a blue tie that nearly matched his crystal blue eyes, he cleaned up nicely.
“I almost didn’t.”
He gave me a smile and nodded. “Me too, but I couldn’t let Cash and Olivia down.”
“Same here.”
“As long as I avoid Alexandria, I should be fine. She always stares at me like she’s deciding if today’s the day she won’t hate me.”
I smiled as the conversation I’d had with Stefan’s mother flashed through my mind. “It’s not hate. She’s worried you’re too alike, actually.”
Kane didn’t ask what I meant, and we stood in silence as the entire party seemed to pass in front of us right there in the kitchen. Something about having him near me made me feel safe, and the idea of Alexandria not approaching me because I was next to him appealed to me. Not that I didn’t like her, but any discussion between us that night would invariably be awkward and end up coming to the subject of Stefan, which I so desperately wanted to avoid.
“You know he’s here, right?” Kane said low in my ear.
My heart began pounding in my chest as I attempted to remain calm and scan the room for any sign of Stefan or his mother. “I assumed he would be, but it’s a big house. With any luck, I’ll be able to avoid him.”
“I don’t think so.”
I turned to look at Kane and saw his eyes focused on the living room across the hallway. Following his gaze, I saw Stefan standing alone over near a large bay window. He wore a dark grey suit and deep red shirt, and even though I couldn’t say I’d ever seen him look so good, something about him told me it was all a façade. He stared at me with a longing in his eyes that pinched at my heart, even now after days of my swearing that I would never let myself feel for him again.
Turning away, I smiled up at Kane. “It was nice seeing you again. Where can I find the happy couple?”
“Through that room he’s standing in. They’re in the room right past it.”
I sighed. “Merry Christmas, Kane.”
“Merry Christmas, Shay.”
There was no way to avoid him now, so I mustered up all my courage, even as my legs began to shake under my dress, and walked toward where I saw Cassian and Olivia. I felt Stefan’s gaze on me every step of the way, and as much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t help but look as I walked past him. The longing I’d seen from the kitchen had changed to utter sadness in his brown eyes.
My chest hurt so much I wasn’t sure I could breathe, but Olivia’s smile beckoning me toward her and Cassian helped and I made it past Stefan without collapsing to the floor. I couldn’t stand much more of this, though. Even when I couldn’t see him, I knew he was looking at me with those eyes so sad.
“Shay, I’m so happy you came!” Olivia said as she reached out to hug me. Dressed in a gorgeous pink floor length gown that highlighted her red hair, she looked stunning. Stepping back away, she said, “I’m so glad to see you. You look beautiful!”
“Thank you. You look lovely. Congratulations to both of you.”
Cassian kissed me on the cheek and handed me a glass of champagne. “Time for a toast.” Addressing the room full of people, he said, “Thank you to everyone who’s come tonight to celebrate with Olivia and me. I hope each of you finds the happiness we’ve found.”
Everyone said, “Cheers!” and I raised my glass to them. “I’m very happy for the two of you. Thank you for inviting me, but I think I need to go.”
Both of them looked over in Stefan’s direction and then back at me. Leaning in to hug me again, Olivia whispered, “I know it was probably hard for you to come tonight, but I’m so glad you did. I hope we get to see you again soon.”
Her words made my tears well up in my eyes. I didn’t know why since Stefan and I had never planned on being anything permanent, but I felt like I was losing a friend as I turned away to leave. I slipped out onto the porch and took a deep breath of air, happy that I’d made it through it all.
Just as I began to believe I’d made it out emotionally unscathed, a hand touched my arm, and I looked to see Alexandria standing next to me. “It’s so wonderful to see you again, Shay.”
“Hello. I was just leaving. You have a lovely home.”
“Are you leaving because of Stefan?”
“You’re more direct than I am. I can respect that, though. Yes, I’m leaving because he’s here.”
Alexandria’s brown eyes searched mine as she said softly, “I was sorry to hear that the two of you aren’t together anymore.”
I felt the tears welling up in my eyes again. Swallowing hard, I said, “I have to go. I’m sorry, but I can’t be here. It’s too hard. I hope you understand.”
“I hope I get to see you again, Shay. I liked our time together, and I think you made my son happy.”