Slipping back into my shirt and yoga pants, I walked out through his bedroom to find him sitting on the couch. Something between us felt awkward now, and I hated that. It was nothing he meant to do, but I saw the look on his face. He pitied me.
“Come here. Sit down with me.”
I didn’t even want to face him, so I looked away. “I think maybe I’ll go stay at Josie’s. I don’t want to impose.”
Cash walked over to me and took my hand. Raising it to his lips, he kissed it and led me to the couch. “Olivia, you’re staying here. I want to make sure you’re safe. Now sit.”
I did as he commanded and sat down next to him. “You’re pretty bossy, aren’t you?”
“I am your boss, remember?”
“I think we’re past just being boss and assistant, aren’t we?” I didn’t know why I asked that. I sounded needy, and I hated sounding that way. Looking down so I didn’t have to see his face, I said, “Forget I said that, okay? I’m not thinking clearly.”
Cash lifted my chin with his finger and stared into my eyes with a look that made me forget everything else in the world but him. “We are past just being that. I hadn’t realized until last week just how much past that we were. Then when you called me today and I heard the fear in your voice, I couldn’t think of anything but racing over to your apartment and protecting you. I’m not sure where this will end up, but we’re way past you just being my assistant.”
“So what happens now? You make Jake Richfield’s life a living hell?”
“He’ll be lucky if I stop there.”
The threat in Cash’s voice was real, and for a moment I felt bad for Jake. Cash was about to make his life an empty shell. “Just don’t do anything you can be hurt from.”
He gently tucked my hair behind my ear so my bruise was visible. “I’m not worried about me. You’re the one he attacked.”
“I’m fine, Cash. I’m not some piece of precious China that breaks easily.”
I had no reason to get defensive. He was just showing me he cared. I knew this, but my gut was sending all sorts of red flags up, even though I had no idea why. Something in the way he’d become so affectionate made me think it was just a matter of time before this all fell apart.
“Olivia, I’m not saying you can’t take of yourself. All I’m saying is I can take care of you too.”
“Well, it’s not necessary. I’m sure you have other things to do on a Saturday afternoon.”
Cash frowned, like what I’d said hurt him, and shook his head. “Nothing more important than you.”
I moved toward the end of the couch, putting some distance between us, even though part of me wanted him to hold me in his arms and never let me go. “I’ll probably head out in a little while. Josie has a spare bedroom.”
“What’s this about, Olivia?”
“Nothing. I just don’t want to be in the way if you have something planned.”
“What would I have planned that wouldn’t involve you tonight?”
“I have no idea. Maybe work. Maybe some other plans you might not want to tell me about. I don’t know.”
“What are you talking about? Did Jake say something?”
I turned and stared at him, seeing him as Jake had described. A player who’d slept with more women than he could remember. Lying, I said, “No. Why?”
“Because you’re acting like I did something wrong. What did he say?”
I quickly stood to move away, not wanting to have this conversation. “Nothing. He said nothing.”
“You’re lying. I can see it in your eyes. Tell me so at least I can explain.”
Something exploded inside me, and I screamed, “Explain what? That you’re just like him? That you’ve slept with more women than you can remember and I likely don’t mean anything to you?”
The look on his face crushed me. I hadn’t meant to say any of that, but somehow it all came flowing out of my mouth from somewhere deep in my mind. I couldn’t do this with him. Even if he was who Jake claimed he was, he didn’t deserve this.
Quietly, I said, “I’m going to lie down for a bit.”
And with that, I went to hide in his bedroom and hate myself for what I’d done. Somehow what Jake said had triggered that fear I’d had about Cash since the moment I realized I liked him. There were leagues, and he was out of mine. He came with a past that intimidated me and made me feel insignificant. I’d hoped my insecurities wouldn’t ruin this thing with him, but Jake’s words had brought them all front and center.
I didn’t know how long I lay there alone in Cash’s bed, but the moment he opened the door my stomach twisted into knots. I’d dropped all that emotional shit in his lap and there was no way we were ever going to move forward if we didn’t talk about it.
Talking about it was the last thing I wanted to do, though. Masochism wasn’t my thing, and hearing about all the women he’d been with before me sounded like the purest form of emotional torture.
My back turned to him, he slid in under the covers and pulled me close. I’d expected to feel him hard against my ass, but nothing pressed against me. This wasn’t about sex. If it had been, maybe I could have kept it together. No, this was about him being there for me and me being the kind of emotional wreck who’d actually brought up his past because I felt inadequate.
Fucking Jake! I’d been so happy with Cash. Maybe my insecurities would have reared their ugly heads at some point, but they hadn’t yet. Now that happiness was gone, replaced by the ugliness Jake had forced on me. The physical attack I could get past. Bruises faded and scratches healed. Words never went away, though. They replayed in the mind haunting until they became truth.
“Olivia, you up?” he asked in a voice that flowed over me like silk.
I pretended to be asleep, but it was no use. I had to face him. “Yeah, I’m up.”
“Let’s talk.”
His soft tone unsuccessfully disguised what I knew to be a command. Weaker men might have let me explode like I had and then wait for me to calm down. Not Cash. Used to having control, he’d given me time only because he wanted it, not because I demanded it. Dominant men were like that. It’s one of the reasons I’d fallen so hard for him. Now, though, it made for an inconvenient conversation I wasn’t really ready for.
Rolling over, I avoided his gaze. He wasn’t going to let me get away with that either. Gently but firmly, he turned my face so I had no choice but to look at him. “I want us to talk, Olivia. The least you can do is look at me. After what you said out there, I think I deserve some answers.”