I leaned forward to read the words on the paper and saw she was telling the truth. Looking up at her, I asked, “Why are you doing this, Rachel?”
“It’s just time. I figure if Cassian can find happiness, maybe I can too, but that can’t happen if we stay stuck in the past together. Give him a chance, Olivia. You might just get to see that man he was before I hurt him.”
I closed the door behind her and remembered how open and gentle Cash had been the last time we were together. I’d already seen that man, and I missed him.
But could I go back to him?
* * *
Josie sipped on her morning coffee and listened as I told her everything, from Jake’s attacking me to Cash having a wife who looked like one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, stopping me every so often just to make sure she understood my story. When I finished, I sat back in my chair and let out a sigh. “So that’s the whole story. Now what do I do?”
“I have no idea. All I know is that for someone who’s supposed to be so fucking boring, you live one hell of a life. I guess you have to take things one at a time. What are you going to do about Jake?”
“There’s nothing to do about Jake. I’m done with him. He hated being stuck in the friend zone? Well, now he can fuck himself because I don’t even want to be friends with him. And with what I heard Cash do when I was at his place, Jake’s going to need friends now more than ever.”
“Did you tell Erin yet? You know she’s had it bad for him forever.”
“No. How can I tell her the guy she obviously idolizes attacked me? But he said something about being with both of you. Do you know anything about that?”
Josie sneered at my mention of her with Jake. “No. If she’s been with him, it’s news to me and not good news. I knew he was a shit way back when. His problem has always been the same. He’s spoiled rich and thinks he can have whatever he wants because of it. I hope Cash ruined him for what he did to you.”
“I think at some point I’m going to have to tell Erin what happened, Josie. What if he tried to do something like that to her too?”
“Jake’s an ass, but I never thought he’d do something so awful, Liv. Erin just can’t see how much he’s not that boy from high school anymore. I can’t tell her. She won’t listen to a word from me about him.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to handle that. I don’t give a shit about his feelings, but Erin is a good friend.”
“I’d say dealing with her is going to be easy compared to deciding what to do about you and Cash.”
“I know you aren’t his number one fan. You probably think I should leave him in the rearview mirror, right?”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes at me. “You always think I dislike your guys, Liv. That’s not true. I just want to be sure he deserves you. He is still married. That fact is inescapable.”
Looking down at my hands in my lap, I mumbled at her succinct statement of the hardest part of the whole thing with him. “I know.”
“But unlike other married men who say they’re not with their wives, he actually told the truth. Add to that the bizarre visit and confession from the barracuda, and I have to wonder if the marriage thing is as big a deal as you first thought.” Chuckling, she added, “I mean, it’s not every mistress who gets a visit from the wife pleading with her to go with the husband.”
“Thank you, but if we can never call me that again, that would be good.”
Josie reached over and slapped my knee. “Oh, come on. It’s got a sexy, reality TV show vibe to it, don’t you think? Olivia, the mistress, is visited late one night by the wife, Rachel Barracuda, hell bent on convincing the other woman to take her man, no matter what.”
“Really? No, thank you, and if it had been reality TV, there would have been hair pulling and screaming. Sorry to disappoint, but all we did was talk.”
Josie’s eyes lit up with excitement. “And one of you would have ended up naked just in time for him to walk in and join you both.”
I nearly choked on my coffee. “Uh, that’s porn, not reality TV, Josie!”
“Sorry. I told you I’m living vicariously through you these days. I guess I need to get out and get my own life, huh?”
“Could we get back to my mess and deal with your lack of a life later? What would you do if you were in my shoes?”
She took a deep breath and blew it out until there was no more air left to expel. “I’d go back to him, especially since you know Rachel is filing for divorce. I’m never a fan of lying, but it’s not like he had a little wife at home with some kids he was stepping out on. That relationship has been dead for a while. Plus, you need that job, Liv, and you like it there.”
“I can get another job.”
“Okay. Then it’s all about Cassian.”
That had been the truth since the first moment I laid eyes on him. “I can’t get another Cash.”
She smiled sweetly. “Then there’s your answer, Liv.”
“Now I just have to find the courage to go back to my job in a few hours wearing my heart on my sleeve. No sweat, right?”
Standing, Josie took her mug out to the kitchen and returned to where I sat to grab her purse. “The course of true love never did run smooth.”
“Shakespeare before nine a.m.?”
She flung her purse over her shoulder and shrugged. “I know. I’m a wild woman today. Call me with all the details, but remember, you got this. The guy’s crazy about you, Liv. Now you just have to show him you’re crazy about him. You two can work this out.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll call you later.”
I finished my coffee and with caffeine coursing through my veins, I summoned the courage to go back to my job and Cassian March. At least I could believe it wasn’t as if his brothers knew everything that had happened between us. This was between Cash and me.
Why didn’t that make me feel any better?
Chapter Twenty
Olivia
I parked my car in my usual spot outside of the Club X building and closed my eyes to calm my nerves. My stomach had been doing somersaults from the moment I left my apartment, and now that I sat just yards away from where Cash was, I thought I might throw up from fear. What if he’d changed his mind after I sent him away? I’d tried to call him three times that morning, and each time my call had been sent to voicemail.
Checking out my look in the mirror, I tried to reassure myself that Josie was right. Cash was crazy about me. Now I had to show him I was crazy about him.