And then I heard that same tiny voice call my name. “Tristan, help me…”
Pushing past the people still walking around the car and giving their opinions on the accident, I saw a hand in the brush a few yards away. Afraid at what I’d find but needing to know if Nina was okay, I slowly walked toward where the hand lay, seeing for the first time what I’d done. Her body lay mangled like the car, twisted into a form I barely recognized. Gashes carved into her face from when she crashed through the windshield seeped blood, but her eyes still stared up at me with that gentle look of trust in them.
“Tristan, help me,” she whispered.
Her words hit me with a force that knocked me back onto the ground, and I put my hands out to break my fall, feeling wetness beneath them. She repeated her plea as I lifted my hands to dry them only to see them covered in red. I was sitting in a pool of Nina’s blood.
Horrified, I scrambled to my feet, but it was no use. The blood continued to flow from her, rising inch by inch up my legs until it covered her and I couldn’t see her anymore.
“Nina! Nina!”
I woke up covered in sweat, my heart pounding in terror as I struggled to escape my dream. Quickly, I turned to see if Nina was okay. She lay silently asleep with her hands curled under her chin like always, a tiny snore coming from her to tell me she was all right.
Pulling her toward me, I held her in my arms, afraid if I let go my dream would return. She mumbled something sweetly as she melded to my body, and then she was back asleep, never knowing the nightmare that had terrorized me.
I lay there for a long time staring up at the ceiling, my mind awash in confusion and fear. I knew what this was. I’d had nightmares for years since the plane crash. Doctor after doctor claimed they were the result of my unconscious mind’s need to express the anxiety I kept hidden inside. They always added that if I’d just let out some of what I feared in my sessions with them that I’d surely see some improvement.
Let out some of what I feared. What I wanted to say to them was, “You live through a fucking plane crash and be impaled on a goddamned steel pole so you have no choice but to watch your family die around you, and then you tell me how much you want to relive any of that, assholes.”
Needless to say, therapy was never successful and I stopped going after a while, preferring to fight my demons my own way. Then I’d had Rogers to watch over me. Now I was the one who had to do the watching over Nina and the babies, and somewhere deep inside me a tiny voice whispered that I couldn’t do it. That I would fail them as I’d failed everyone who’d ever depended on me.
* * *
“Tristan, are you planning to come to bed?”
Nina looked over at me as I sat at the desk staring out the window instead of doing the work I’d claimed I needed to do. I hadn’t looked at my laptop for nearly twenty minutes. After my dream the night before, I wanted nothing more than to avoid sleep.
Padding up behind me, Nina wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered, “You look exhausted. Didn’t you get any sleep last night?”
I turned to kiss her, loving the feel of her body next to mine. “I slept.”
“Don’t lie to me,” she said sweetly. “I know you were tossing and turning for hours, and you weren’t there when I woke up. Something wrong?”
“Not a thing,” I said in my best lying voice.
She looked directly into my eyes. “You sure?”
“What could be wrong? I’ve got everything a man could want. Gorgeous wife, happy marriage, a couple kids on the way.”
Nina studied my expression and after a moment gave me one of her gentle smiles. “I just thought maybe something at work was bothering you. You know if there was you could talk to me, right?”
“I know, but work is fine. Nothing going on there but the usual.”
Moving around me, she nestled into my lap. “I know you, Tristan Stone. You’re worried about something, so just spill the beans.”
She stared into my eyes with a look so intent I knew I wasn’t going to be able to brush her off. There was no way I wanted to tell her about my nightmare. Whatever madness my mind was cultivating had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. Saddling her with it wouldn’t do any good.
With as genuine a smile as I could muster, I took her face in my hands and pressed my forehead to hers. “There’s nothing to worry about, Mrs. Stone. Your husband is fine. I have a lot of work to finish, so you better get yourself to bed. You’re sleeping for three now, you know.”
My attempt at being cute garnered a giggle from her, the kind that never failed to make me truly happy. “I don’t think that’s how it works. If that were the case, I’d never get out of bed.”
Leaning back, I tapped the tip of her nose with my forefinger. “Well, then you better get yourself to sleep. I’ll be there in a little while. Don’t worry. I’ll just be over here working hard.”
She kissed me softly and nodded. “Okay. If you need anything, I’ll be right over there. Don’t stay up too late.”
“I promise. I’ll be there in just a few.”
Whether Nina believed my lie or not, she headed back to bed and fell asleep in minutes. I wanted to be there next to her, holding her in my arms as I drifted off to sleep, but my terror at what thoughts my mind would create kept me fast in my chair. The numbers and details in the Ryder Pharmaceutical report on my laptop’s screen swam in front of my eyes after a while as I fought against the need to sleep, but it was no use and I felt my eyelids begin to slowly lower.
The sound of Nina’s muffled cries made my blood run cold, and I ran through the house yelling her name, praying I wasn’t too late. My heart slammed against my chest at the fear I wouldn’t find her before they hurt her.
“Nina! Where are you?” I shouted over and over, but all I heard in response were her quiet pleas to find her.
I stopped at every doorway, my eyes frantically searching for any sign of her, but she was nowhere. No matter which way I ran, her voice remained the same soft cry so full of fear.
“Tristan, help me!”
Images of them pressing their hands hard over her mouth to stop her from letting me know where she was raced through my mind, filling me with the purest fear I’d ever felt. I saw her blue eyes wide with terror begging me to find her. I had no idea who they were or why they wanted to hurt her, but I knew they would.
I tore down the hallway toward our bedroom, but as I turned to enter the room, the door began moving away from me. I stuck my hand out to turn the doorknob, but it was just out of my grasp. “Nina! Come toward the door!”