I knew I should leave him in my forgotten past. I just couldn't.
Tristan and I had dinner promptly at five, as I'd come to find out was our routine. He smiled when he saw me and said he'd had a great day after our rendezvous, but those sexy brown eyes told a different story about his day. Perhaps after taking off so much time to tend to me after my accident, the work he'd neglected had finally caught up to him. Whatever it was that made him look so exhausted, I wished I could make it all go away.
Pushing his plate away from him, he forced a smile. "How was your day after you left Le Ciel?"
I felt a blush race over my cheeks at the mention of our time at the boutique. "It was good. I went to see Jordan. She said she and Justin would come to celebrate New Year's Eve with us. I think she's looking forward to it."
Tristan reached out his hand to cover mine as it sat on the table. "And are you?"
"I am. I think we'll have a great time."
His smile softened, becoming more genuine. "Good. Any idea what we should feed them?"
"Cocktail weenies?" I said with a giggle.
Raising his eyebrows, he smirked. "I think my chef can do better than that. Perhaps I'll let him run with the menu. I promise you'll love it."
"I'm sure I will...love it," I said as I slid my hand out from under his.
He noticed its movement immediately and looked down at the spot where my hand had sat and then up at my face. "Is there something wrong, Nina? I'd thought after last night and this morning, we'd turned a corner. Was I wrong?"
I didn't know if he was wrong. The time we'd spent together at the penthouse the night before had been incredible. And the dressing room at Le Ciel? Mind blowing. There was no doubt in my mind that the sex between us worked. It worked like with no one before. But I had to wonder about the feelings underneath what we did with one another when we were naked.
"No. It was great. There's no denying that."
Tristan's eyebrows knitted in that look of concern that he seemed to wear a lot, mostly because of me. "But something's wrong?"
I couldn't think of a way to say what was on my mind, so I just went with the straightforward truth. "There's no doubt we rock it in bed. No doubt. But is sex all we are? I mean, couples usually do normal couples stuff."
"Like?" he asked with a distinct edge to his voice.
"Like sit around and watch movies," I blurted out, unsure if that's what I meant at all.
"You want to watch a movie tonight? Is that what you're saying?"
I could tell by the look on his face that he was confused by my attitude toward him. I couldn't blame him. We'd made love over and over the night before, and then the Le Ciel thing had happened, so he had every right to think that I was beginning to feel something for him.
I was. I just didn't know how to feel about that.
"Could we? Did we ever do that, or did we only have sex all over the place?"
On those rare occasions when Tristan really smiled, he was the most incredibly stunning man I'd ever seen. At that moment when I asked if all we'd ever done was have sex, one of those true smiles broke out across his face, lighting up even his tired eyes.
"Yes, we've watched movies before. You tend to like ones I don't and vice versa, but I'm sure we can compromise."
"Good."
Loosening his tie, he focused his gaze on me. "But I want to get something straight with you. Just because we're attracted to one another doesn't mean we never cared for each other. The two things are not mutually exclusive."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by that."
"I think you have some idea that because I want you that I can't be in love with you. Nothing could be further from the truth, Nina."
This was one of those times I was sure he had some mind reading ability he used on me. Even before I'd realized it, he'd nailed down what had been playing on my mind since Jordan had told me about Cal.
I looked down at my hands as they sat in my lap. "I guess I'm just worried that sex was all there was between us." Looking up, I saw him staring at me with what looked like hurt in his eyes. "Not that the sex isn't great, but was there more?"
"The sex was great—is great—because there is more. Your mind may not know it yet, but your heart does. Listen to it, Nina."
When he looked at me with those eyes that seemed to look straight into my soul, I couldn't help but prayed that he was right. I wanted to listen to my heart. It's just that my head kept interrupting with all those doubts about him. About love. About Cal.
I needed to know why Cal had so easily dumped me for some girl after I'd told him I'd loved him. Something inside told me that if I didn't find out what had happened between us, then nothing would ever truly be right between Tristan and me.
He interpreted my silence as rejection and leaned back in his chair. "I'm happy to give you all the time you need, Nina. All I ask is that you not fight feeling something for me."
"That's not it, Tristan. I didn't mean..." I let my sentence trail off into the uncomfortable feeling that had formed around us right there in that dining room. I felt bad, but I was sure once I found out what had happened with Cal, everything between Tristan and me could be right. Maybe it would be even better than it had been before.
He stood from the table and placed his napkin next to his plate. "Let me get changed and we'll haggle over that movie. Sound good?"
"Sure. That sounds great. Give me a few minutes and I'll meet you in..." I stopped because I didn't know where to say to meet him. The media room? His room? Now that we'd slept together, spending the night with him in his room seemed like the next logical step, but I wasn't sure it meant the same thing to him.
"Let's get some use out of that media room. I'll meet you there in say twenty minutes? I have some work I have to take care of, but I'll tell Rogers to make some popcorn."
His desire to watch the movie not in his room but in the media room confused me. Maybe last night hadn't meant what I thought it had. But then again, he was the one always professing love.
As he left the dining room, I worked to clear my muddled head. It was probably better if we kept our living arrangements like they'd been for a little while more anyway. I needed to find out about what had made the only other man I'd ever said I love you to leave me. Once the past was cleared up, the present could begin to be great.
At least I hoped so.
Tristan's media room wasn't like any room normal people watched movies in. More like a movie theater than a room, it had an enormous U-shaped black chenille sectional couch that felt like heaven to sit on. Extra deep, the seats were almost as big as chaise lounges all around. It faced a TV that was so big it took up almost the entire wall. I felt tiny in this room so full of big things.