"I'm sorry, Nina. Karl was threatening you, telling me that if you knew anything of what your father had found out that he'd kill you to keep you quiet. I didn't know about any of what Taylor and my father had done to the Cashens until I met with Judge Cashen's daughter in Atlanta. Until then..."
She cut me off as she jumped off the couch to get away from me. "Until then, all you knew was that your father had my father murdered execution style in a parking garage in Newark and you weren't going to tell me."
I slumped against the arm of the couch and hung my head. "I didn't know how to tell you without losing you. I couldn't lose you."
"So you lied to me every day and night."
"I convinced myself that it was okay because I was protecting you. I thought if I could make sure you were safe that someday you'd understand."
"I found out that night when I got into the accident. When were you going to tell me this time?"
I didn't know how to answer that. I'd never gotten that far. I'd been so concerned that Karl would hurt her that telling her the truth had been pushed aside.
"When, Tristan? When?" she screamed.
"I don't know."
"Look at me! At least face me now."
I turned around and looked up at her. "I'm sorry. I thought if I just had enough time I could solve this whole thing and you'd never have to know what my father did. I swear I didn't know about anything he did until right before I met you."
"You aren't to blame for what happened to my father, Tristan. Your crime was lying to me. We built a life together based on a lie. You asked me to marry you. Our entire life is a lie."
Standing, I grabbed her hands, needing to feel her touch on my skin, some small connection I could believe still meant something. "Don't say that. I know I lied and I know I hurt you, but we love each other. No matter what else happened, we fell in love."
"How could you do this? I wanted to believe we'd be together forever," she said in a sad voice as she looked down at our joined hands.
"I'm sorry, Nina. No matter what else, I need you to believe that I love you."
She yanked her hands from mine and glared up at me. Shaking her head wildly, she sobbed, "I can't listen to this. I can't. I trusted you."
Dropping to my knees, I wrapped my arms around her legs and held her tight. I needed to keep her there. I couldn't let her go. "Come away with me. We can go anywhere. Venice again. Wherever you want. As long as we're together."
Nina stared down into my eyes and I knew. I'd lost her. No amount of begging was going to work.
"I can't do this, Tristan. I can't," she said sadly and then pulled away from me, never looking back.
I watched her run out, knowing that I had to go after her. My feet took the steps downstairs by two, and I caught up with her just as she was reaching the street. Jensen stood next to the car looking over at me for what to do.
"Take me home!" she ordered as she opened the car door, but he stood still as a statue waiting for my orders.
"I want to go home! Take me home, Jensen!" she cried, but still he wouldn't move, his eyes focused on me to know what to do.
Silently, I nodded to let him know he could leave, and he sped away toward the house as I watched everything I loved leave me. I'd told myself over and over that I was willing to lose her if it meant she was safe, but now I couldn't do it. I couldn't let her go. I needed to know she believed I loved her.
I heard her cry as I stood in the hallway outside her bedroom door, knowing I was the only person who couldn't make her feel better. For an hour, I listened to her heartbreaking sobs as my hope that she'd understand why I'd done what I'd done faded away.
Sliding down the wall, I finally leaned against her door and whispered, "I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."
I'd lost her. The one soul on Earth that I truly loved and I'd lost her because of who I was. That was the truth at the heart of it all. I was a Stone and because of that—because of what I was deep down—I'd lost Nina's love.
I was no different than my father or Taylor.
Closing my eyes, I pressed my cheek to her door and whispered one last time, "I love you, Nina. I hope someday you can forgive me."
I waited for what seemed like hours for her to say anything, but all I heard was silence.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nina
My throat hurt because I cried so much, but the tears kept coming. I didn't know which hurt more—knowing what really happened to my father and that Tristan's father had been the one to take him away from me or that everything I loved had been based on a lie. I wanted to run away, like I did before, but I couldn't. Tristan had lied to me from the moment he met me, but I loved him. And he loved me. I just didn't know how we'd go on from here.
I'd heard him outside my door telling me he loved me. His voice was so sad that I couldn't face him. I pressed my ear to the door and heard him whisper that he hoped I'd forgive him.
I knew I shouldn't want to forgive him. He'd lied over and over for months. That should have been enough for me to never want to speak to him again.
If only it was that easy.
Exhausted from crying and thinking for hours, I finally fell asleep just as the first rays of the sun began to stream through my window. Not that I slept well. My body may have wanted to rest, but my mind raced the entire time so that when I opened my eyes at ten I was up and ready to face Tristan and our life together.
I couldn't just let this go. That had been the one thought preoccupying my mind. No matter how many times I told myself I couldn't forgive, it's the only thing I wanted to do. I knew what everyone would say. Kim would tell me I was stupid or being a fool. Once a liar, always a liar. Even Jordan would likely tell me to walk away.
My mind knew that was the smartest thing to do. My heart had an entirely different agenda, though.
For better or worse, my heart had won the tug-of-war, and I got out of bed prepared to tell Tristan how I felt. I could forgive him, but this would be his only chance. The man who'd been there for me when I was broken and hurt deserved at least that.
I spied an envelope sitting on the floor near the door, which was so typical of him. I hurriedly walked over to get it, noticing as I picked it up that it was far thicker than his usual notes. A tiny spike of fear ran through my mind at the possibility of what I'd soon find in those pages. Unfolding them, I began to read his words. As they flowed in front of my eyes, my stomach dropped and an emptiness filled me.
Dear Nina,
I can't say I'm sorry anymore and convince you how much I never meant to hurt you. I was a fool to believe that we could be happy. How could we be when I'm who I am?