The woman behind the counter cleared her throat, and that was my cue to keep it PG. Kat picked out a sparkly necklace with pink stones for the cat’s ears.
“Wait for me outside,” I told her, then went to the register to pay for the gifts.
A minute later I left the store, tucking a tiny white bag into my wallet. I’d save the gift in the bag for the next time I saw her. I asked Kat to turn around. She lifted up her hair, and I kissed her lightly on her neck, savoring that sweet sexy moment when she shivered under my touch. “I could do this all day,” I said, as I fastened the necklace.
“Put jewelry on me?” She teased.
“No. Kiss you,” I said, then dropped my mouth to her neck once more, kissing my way up to her ear, as she pressed her body against me. “I love kissing you. I’m so crazy for you. And I know this is just a little necklace, but I wanted you to have something from me. Something you liked.”
She turned around, looping her arms around my neck. “I love it, Bryan. I totally love it.”
That word burrowed into my heart, and I wanted to say it, to tell her all that I felt for her. But I kept it inside for longer, wanting to take things slow with her. She had the world ahead of her, and I didn’t want to rush a thing.
“Let’s go walk around NYU. You’re going to be there in just a few weeks.”
We wandered over to campus, and as she peered in the buildings, checking out dorms and classrooms, she had the most excited look in her eyes. “I can’t believe I’m going to be here soon. It’s going to be amazing. Did you love it here?”
“Absolutely. Every second of it,” I said. “College is everything they say it is.”
“What do you mean?”
“That it’s the time when you find yourself. When you figure out what you want. And when you have a ton of fun.”
“I can’t wait to start.”
As we reached the campus bookstore, my phone chimed with an email. I slid my finger across the screen.
“I’ll be right back. I need to see what my boss wants. I’ll meet you in the store,” I said to Kat. I clicked open the email and the subject line read Paris. I read the rest of the note. “Looks like there might be an opening soon in our Paris office. You’re fluent, right? Let’s talk Monday about this.”
Equal parts excitement and surprise raced through me. My boss had mentioned working abroad, but it had never occurred to me it might happen so quickly. Nor had it occurred to me I might be separated from Kat by an ocean. I wanted to stay, but I wanted to go.
When I found her in the bookstore, she asked if everything was okay.
“Yeah, it’s great actually,” I said because I did want this. I did want the opportunity to learn and grow in my career that was just starting. “I might be going to Paris soon. To work.”
“That’s amazing,” she said, and threw her arms around me.
“You’ll have to come visit me,” I said to see how she’d respond, even though it wasn’t fair to ask her to do that. She wouldn’t want to anyway, would she?
She pulled back to look at me, a wide smile on her gorgeous face. “You know I’d be there in a heartbeat to see you.”
And maybe that’s when it hit me. At that moment, everything came to a screeching halt with her words. I knew staying together was going to be a problem. I hated myself for knowing this. I hated myself for what I had to do. But I had no choice. This was the only way, and I did it for her.
I kissed her hard that night when I put her on the train back to Mystic, wishing it didn’t feel like it might be the last time.
I didn’t want it to be the last time. Not at all. But I knew it had to be.
Three days later I broke up with her.
Chapter Six
Five years later
Bryan
As we walked along the Santa Monica promenade, the sun shining brightly overhead, my sister brought the camera to her eyes and snapped several quick shots.
“Get anyone good?” I asked when she lowered the camera.
“Oh, you didn’t notice? That was Lucien Drone,” she said, pointing casually at the man she’d just photographed. I glanced behind us and saw a squat, balding guy walking the other way. “The short dude?”
She nodded.
“Why you’d take his picture? Never even heard of him.”
“He used to be on a TV show that was popular in the 80s. Furs and Fiends. He was the skeezy pimp.”
“Gotta say, I’m glad I never saw that show.”
“I don’t even think this picture is worth anything,” she said, tapping her camera. “No one, not even the worst celebrity rags want his shot unless they’re doing a where are the has-beens now. So maybe I’ll try to sell it for coffee change.”
“How do you have time for college and taking pictures of celebrities?” I asked as we neared the restaurant where we were headed for lunch. I was in Los Angeles for business for my company Made Here that I’d started a few years ago. But I had time in between meetings to hang out with Jess. I hadn’t seen her in several months. She’d just started her sophomore year of college.
“Bryan,” she said and mimed juggling. “I’m like you. I learned from the best. When you want something, you go after it, and you juggle everything.”
“You want to take pictures of celebrities? That’s what you’re going after?”
“No. Dork. I want to put myself through college like you did. But speaking of going after things,” she said, and stopped walking to cross her arms and stare hard at me. “Are you still pining after Kat?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked with a laugh, the kind that said she’d caught me red-handed.
“The girl you told me you fell for five years ago?”
“No. Of course I’m not pining for her,” I said, adding in a scoff for good measure.
She poked me in the chest.
“I don’t even know what she’s up to,” I said, looking the other way.
“She’s making necklaces now. My Favorite Mistakes, she calls them. I don’t even like jewelry but those are seriously nice necklaces.”
I turned back to Jess, impressed that she knew. “You track her too?”
She pointed her finger at me and smiled widely. “Aha! So you are still thinking of Kat. I knew it.”
“Fine. You caught me.” I held up my hands. There was no point denying it. Breaking up with Kat was my biggest regret. Hands down, bar none. I thought my reasons were good, but nothing had come close to the idiocy of what I’d done when I left her. If I could turn back time, I would do everything over again from that moment I gave her the necklace.