“Sure. I’ll have a cup.” He didn’t know what to say — this was a first for him. This woman had already been put through so much trauma, and she’d been all alone today when she’d found out the biggest news of her life. Because of him.
“What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you.”
“You didn’t have to make the trip in this weather.”
The kettle began to whistle and she removed it from the burner, then poured hot water over the tea bags.
“Yes I did.” That was the truth. He’d needed to be with her all week. “I…I’m done trying to stay away.”
She reached into the cupboard and pulled out cookies, then leaned against the counter and, picking up her cup, took a sip of the hot liquid. She seemed so close to breaking apart that he couldn’t keep his distance any longer.
Moving next to her, he lifted a hand, placing it on her shoulder. “Tell me what happened.” If she didn’t trust him any longer, she wouldn’t say a word. He held his breath.
“I…I have no one in my life…or, at least, I’ve never had anyone all my life. I don’t…” She tried to gain control over her emotions. “I think you’re the only person in the world I trust, Bryson. I…want to talk to you, but I shouldn’t burden you.” A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.
He lifted his hand from her shoulder and ran his finger along the track that the tear had left, then cupped her cheek in his palm. His insides were twisted in knots as he watched her try to maintain control of herself. He wanted to take her agony away, bear the burden for her. “You can tell me anything, Misty. I want to listen. I want to be there for you.”
“You know I grew up in the foster-care system, that I was bounced around and around and around. The only clue to my identity was one little note that was left with me, the note that said I needed to find my brother. I never followed up on it. What was the point? I’m sure there are millions of Damiens in the world, and I didn’t even know a city for him, or a last name. I knew nothing.” Her voice was clear, almost as if she’d rehearsed her lines.
She most likely had in the time she’d had to think since her visit with Joseph had ended. This is where he should tell her the truth, Bryson thought, tell her of his involvement in all of this. But he couldn’t get the words past his throat. They just wouldn’t come. He was too afraid she’d hate him, make him go away.
“Go on,” he said instead.
“Tonight, when he showed up here, I was so frightened, afraid to answer the doorbell. But I made a promise to not run from anything anymore, so I didn’t just ignore it. I faced it,” she said, a gleam entering in her eyes during the last few words.
He broke in. “You are so strong and brave.”
She went on without acknowledging his praise. “We just stood there facing each other in silence for a moment. I almost asked if Santa was in town. He was the largest man I’ve ever run into, but with the white hair and beard and practically sparkling eyes, I wasn’t afraid. I was just in shock.”
Bryson was too tense to say anything as she paused to take a breath.
“He tells me his name is Joseph Anderson, that he’s my…cousin,” she said with disbelief. “He couldn’t be. He’s too old, for one, and how would he know I exist, for two? Or that’s what I thought until he explained it all to me. Apparently his uncle got involved with a much younger woman and then died, estranged from the family. They know my brother — Damien is real,” she said with wonder.
“Are you going to meet your brother?” Bryson now caressed her hair, both to offer comfort and to fulfill his need to touch her.
“I’m scared,” she admitted. “What if it all turns out to not be true? What if this is all just some sort of sick joke? What if this Damien is my brother but he hates me?”
“No one who meets you can hate you, Misty. I can guarantee that.”
He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to hold her. Removing the cup from her hand, he set it aside and wrapped her in his arms, her head leaning against his chest, his hands stroking her back.
“That’s not true!” she sobbed. “My foster parents hated me, the other kids hated me, and Jesse really hated me.”
“Oh, Misty, they were all fools. Don’t you see that you were thrust into a life that wasn’t supposed to be yours? You were supposed to have it all, a loving family, a beautiful life, with all the advantages in the world. Even though you didn’t grow up with what you deserved, you have still managed to stay above water. So many would use a terrible childhood as an excuse to use drugs, or live a life of crime, but not you. Though times were hard, you trudged ahead.”
“But I ended up with Jesse,” she reminded him.
“Not by your choosing. He took all choice away, didn’t give you options. He forced your hand, and even then you managed to escape. Not all his victims have managed to get away from him…alive.”
She shuddered in his arms and took in deep breaths, trying to pull herself together. “I’m still afraid. Doesn’t that make me weak? I’m afraid to take the hand Joseph is holding out to me. I’m afraid of meeting my brother.” She paused before admitting what frightened her even more. “I’m afraid of letting you go right now.”
She pressed her body more tightly against his.
He was the lowest and most disgusting of scum. She trusted him, was seeking comfort and reassurance from him, and his body was firing up, his brain focused on the curves pressed against him, his caressing hands well aware of her derrière only inches below them. He would burn in hell — and he’d deserve it.
“I need you, Bryson,” she whispered, the words barely audible. “Please.”
His entire body snapped into action mode. Though he nearly shook in his attempt to do the right thing, he was hard in a second. But she was vulnerable, hurting, alone. He couldn’t do this, couldn’t make love to her right now.
It was wrong on so many levels, and there wasn’t a punishment severe enough for him if he went through with this. She would hate him afterward. And she’d hate him even more when she found out he’d known about her brother and told her nothing.
He was trying to persuade himself to let her go, to lead her into the living room, where he could hold her until she felt better, when her hand slid across his backside, making him clench his teeth.