“I’m sorry, Brielle.”
She was relieved when Colt didn’t try to offer her more than that, didn’t try to make her unfounded promises that her father would be okay.
“I can’t think about it anymore, Colt. I just can’t. It’s all I’ve been thinking about all day, and I’m so worn out. Please tell me something, anything to make me stop thinking about it.”
Just sitting there in his arms took some of the burden away, just knowing he was there with her, that his hands were caressing her back, that his head was resting against hers. Just having him here with her meant she didn’t have to be alone. That was so much better than sitting in the dark with a cold cup of tea.
Why was she so focused on the tea? Because it was something to think about other than cancer and death. It was something to worry about that didn’t have a serious consequence.
“It’s funny, really. You go through life worried about the smallest, most petty things, and then you’re hit with something like this,” she said, her voice almost a monotone. “I used to get so upset when I would get a fresh manicure and then chip my nail the same day. Or when I couldn’t find the perfect purse to go with a brand new top. I was so shallow.”
“You’re anything but shallow, Brielle.”
“I don’t know, Colt. Can a person really change that much in only a few months?”
“If you want my honest opinion, I don’t think you were ever shallow. I think you focused on those things because they were what you could control. You could look at your nails and see there was a problem that you were able to fix. You could focus on an outfit because there was a solution — or, if not, what did it really matter? Your mother left you and your family drifted apart. You were spinning and you did what you had to do in order to stay planted on the ground. That doesn’t make you shallow, really — that makes you a survivor.”
“I don’t know how you see me the way you do, Colt, but it terrifies me.”
“Why would that scare you?”
The way his hand was drifting through her hair was so soothing she almost forgot what she was saying.
“Because I feel that I’m going to fail you.”
That was her second biggest fear. Her father had left from his visit saying how proud he was of her, and Colt saw an image of her that she couldn’t see. What if both men were wrong?
When she tilted her head, the shadows restricted her view of his face, but she could still see the outline of his mouth, and she lifted her hand to trace his lips. How she loved the way he kissed her fingertips.
“I can see you, Brielle. I can see the beautiful woman you are, inside and out.”
“I want to be beautiful for you, Colt.”
“Do you really know why I love being around you?”
She wanted to know, but she almost feared what he would say. Still, she nodded her head.
“I love being around you because if I’m having a rough day, all it takes is one comment from you, one smile, one look, and my entire mood will change. What I feel when I’m with you is something most people will never in their life get to experience. I know this because I have friends who aren’t afraid to speak about their feelings, and no one I know feels the way I do. I could be dragged out to every strip club in Montana and I wouldn’t even see the strippers, I wouldn’t even care to look, because now that I’ve seen you, no one compares. I can’t get you from my head. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop wanting to be with you.”
“You really feel this way?”
“I feel that and so much more, Brielle. You see, I think you were molded to fit perfectly in my arms. When I hold you, it’s as if I still can’t pull you close enough. I want to never let go. It’s not just about sex — though that’s fantastic,” he said with what she knew was a grin on his face. “It’s so much more than that. On paper we should be all wrong for each other, but the more I’m with you, the more I need to be with you. You have a distinct advantage over me, you know.”
“What’s that?” His words were doing for her what she hadn’t been able to do all day. They were filling her heart with warmth, and taking away her pain. He was giving her the gift of himself, and she wanted to keep him for as long as she could — forever, if that were possible.
“What advantage?” she asked, tilting her head and brushing her lips against his.
“You own me, Brielle.”
“Oh, Colt. I think you have it so backward.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Brielle, darling. We’ve been waiting for you.”
Brielle nearly stumbled as she came around the corner of her house to find Bethel, Eileen, Maggie, and Martin sitting on her front porch at the small table in the corner, glasses of iced tea in front of them, and pie ready to be served.
The pie made her mouth water instantly, but she was so exhausted that she didn’t know if she’d be able to survive an interrogation from the terrible trio and their partner in crime, Martin Whitman.
As her stomach rumbled and her knees shook with fatigue, she decided she’d just have to do her best. She’d been up and working since dawn, and had spent the entire day with Joe as the poor kid had tried his best to teach her more about running a combine.
Colt had been teaching her, but today he’d been called away for another job, Tony said. It was a relief to have Joe help her with the huge machinery, because even after spending a couple of months with Colt, he still distracted her.
And when she was dealing with expensive machinery, she didn’t need any distractions. By the end of her lessons, though, Joe wasn’t looking too positive about her abilities with the combine. She would prove him wrong, though, because there was still a week until harvest time began, and she intended to spend time with the machine every single day up until then.
By the time those harvesters rolled out bright and early, she’d be a pro at cutting the beautiful wheat that filled her land.
“It’s wonderful to see you ladies, and you too, Martin,” she said as she dragged herself up the steps and sat at the table with the four of them. Her eyes went straight to the pie, which, if she wasn’t mistaken, was still warm.
“I just feel so bad that we haven’t been neighborly enough, dear, but you are a busy woman. The buzz around town is that you’re doing an excellent job with this farm,” Bethel said as she poured Brielle a glass of tea and passed it over.