What she did know, though, was that even if she did end up regretting anything she’d done, she’d also have the good memories to counteract the bad ones from that horrific Christmastime two years before. They’d made love once, and it had been magnificent. Yes, her time with Tanner was coming to a close. She felt that in the air, knew he would soon be gone — he’d said so openly from the first moment sparks had flown between them. Like any good magical being, he’d be off in a poof of smoke.
Silence stretched on between them, but it wasn’t awkward, wasn’t unbearable. Tanner poured her a glass of wine, and she looked into his mesmerizing eyes before allowing a nervous giggle to escape.
“Wow, if you knew the thoughts running through my mind, you might try to run as fast as you can,” she said when he raised an eyebrow at her little burst of laughter. She sipped her wine and prayed that her nerves would calm down.
“I don’t think a bulldozer crashing through the walls of this building could make me run from you,” he said, his eyes boring into her.
“If the owner of this building gets his way, Tanner, a bulldozer putting a damper on the mood could just happen.”
He flinched and turned away, but she didn’t take any offense. She was actually relieved to be released from the intense look in his eyes.
“Sometimes things happen for a reason, Kyla. Maybe you were meant to be in these apartments to take the next step in your life,” he said, and she couldn’t disagree with that. “And maybe by being forced to leave, it will help you take another step in your life.” This last part seemed to be spoken in an almost desperate way.
“Is that what you want, Tanner? Do you want someone else to force you to make a decision?”
His body tensed and her eyes were locked on his back as she waited for him to turn back around. Talk about dampers. This conversation was doing a real number on them and their mood, killing the eagerness they’d felt earlier to get back here and tear each other’s clothes off. But at the same time, it was actually making it easier for her to fall back into his bed. She felt she was getting to know him just a tiny bit.
“I’ve always made my own decisions,” he said before letting out a sigh and turning back toward her. “I didn’t choose to be here, but I’m grateful for this moment, grateful to be standing in this exact place with you right in front of me. Sometimes we’re pushed to do something we normally would never do, and we might fight it, and we might look back and still be angry about it, but there’s a reason for everything, and I have no doubt that I was meant to be here with you right here and right now. ‘To everything, turn, turn, turn…’”
He stepped toward her and cupped her cheek, and Kyla found herself on the verge of tears.
“So we quit fighting this, right?” she said, nuzzling against his hand.
“We quit fighting what has been inevitable from the moment I laid eyes on you, from the first moment our lips connected, from the magical instant our bodies became one. We don’t worry about tomorrow; we only appreciate what we have right now.”
“Do you practice these lines, Tanner?” She was desperately trying to break the intensity of the moment.
“I’ve never said anything like this to another woman. Ever. I don’t lie, and I won’t make promises that I can’t or won’t keep, but when I look at you, I can’t look away. When I’m away from you, I want to rush to your arms. You have been messing with my head from the very first moment you stole into my apartment.”
“Well, then, Tanner, I’m glad to be guilty of my one and only instance of breaking and entering.”
“I’m glad, too.” He leaned forward and captured her lips in a sweet kiss that had her head spinning. Who needed wine?
But just when she was ready to grab hold of him, he let her go, kissing her quickly one more time before moving away. “I need to feed you,” he said. She leaned back while she watched him fill her plate.
The atmosphere, the food, the wine. And the perfection of it all. More than anything else in the past two years, it made her miss her parents. Each and every holiday, her mother would be in charge of a beautiful production, laying the table with their finest china, crafting desserts for days and putting together the best dinner a person could manage.
Not much that Tanner was serving looked like her mother’s dishes — Kyla didn’t recognize some of the food at all — but the setting, the holiday decorations on the table, all of it…it made her miss “home.” Maybe it was time to go back there, to walk through the halls and see what she’d cut herself off from two years ago. Instead of confronting this constant emptiness, maybe she would feel as if her family were with her.
“After you.” Tanner pulled her from her thoughts once again when he set her plate down and held her chair out for her.
“Thank you.”
Dinner proceeded quietly as Kyla tried to push out thoughts of her lost family from her mind. She was with a striking man who had gone all out to give her a beautiful holiday. She was determined to enjoy this moment to its fullest.
Needing the ache to go away, she set down her fork, two glasses of wine giving her the extra boost of courage she desperately needed. Rising with purpose, she moved slowly around the table to where Tanner was sitting. With a smile, he pushed back his chair and waited for her to make the next move. Straddling his legs, she sat down on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Make love to me,” she whispered, and she connected their mouths.
Tanner hesitated no longer. He returned her embrace, deepened the kiss, and, as he let his hands travel beneath her sweater, scorched her skin with his touch.
“Yes, Tanner,” she moaned as he cupped her br**sts, sending flames shooting straight to her core. This was the magic only he seemed able to bring, and she was a fool to even think one time in his arms had been enough. Why fight the inevitable? Why fight what her body needed? There was no reason, and she was a fool for even considering it.
Tanner broke away from her, making her whimper until she realized he was holding the bottom of her sweater. With a quick motion, he tugged it over her head and threw it somewhere behind them, then pulled her back against him and let his hands roam across the skin of her back.
She felt him unclasp her bra as he continued to worship her mouth, driving her loneliness away and replacing it with excitement and pleasure. Yes, this is exactly what she needed. This was the best Christmas gift he could possibly give her. When he removed her bra and then his shirt, she delighted to feel her straining ni**les rub against the smooth skin of his broad chest.