Nonsense!
Pulling himself together, he managed to hold on until the countdown began for the new year. But as he looked out at his relatives, all of them with someone, all happy and in love — or at least that’s the way it appeared to him — he decided he’d had enough. He wasn’t going to watch others lips lock together, not when there was only one woman he wanted to kiss this New Year’s Eve. And it wasn’t going to happen.
It didn’t matter, though, because he was happy with his life, he told himself, refusing to cave in to the depression hanging threateningly overhead.
Kyla was from his past and there was no use in turning back.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Tanner knew he’d lost his mind when he found himself parked in front of the old apartment building a week into the new year. This was the place where he’d been condemned to live for more than three weeks while donning a Santa suit and dealing with a bunch of whiny kids. Why in the world was he subjecting himself to coming back here?
Because this is where Kyla lived, and he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
Two full weeks had passed since he’d left her there alone in her parents’ home, and she’d looked so lost and broken. Should he have stayed? Yes, he felt like a heel for not waiting for her on the front steps. And like a worse heel for actually breaking up with her on the spot. He’d been trying to be kind, but… He snorted. Kind? Scared was more like it.
What if she’d needed him once she’d stepped outside that mausoleum of a home?
He’d just taken her at her word and left. Called a cab and rushed back to his old life. He hadn’t even bothered going back to the apartment building. There was nothing there he’d needed or wanted.
Nothing but Kyla.
He was just going to check on her now. Nothing more. He’d slept with her, after all; it was the responsible thing to do to make sure she was doing well. Just because he wanted to check on her didn’t mean he cared, or that he wanted to have an actual relationship.
He didn’t do relationships. For the past several years, he’d found women who were interested in mutually beneficial sex. That was great — no one got feelings hurt when it was over, usually after one night in bed, maybe two.
Still, he found himself striding down the hallway of the building. As he moved toward Kyla’s door, he was beginning to see the place differently. Maybe there really were some possibilities here. As much as he didn’t want to think it, there was beauty in the moldings and now that the heating was working properly and the place was getting much-needed repairs, he could see some potential. He’d have to meet with his architect.
Tanner found himself in front of Kyla’s door, and his hand went on autopilot. Hell, it wasn’t the first time that had happened. Footsteps on the other side told him she was home.
With the chain in place, she cracked the door open. He would have to tell her that wasn’t a surefire method of keeping people out. Once they had an opening, no matter how small, they could easily force their way in.
“Hello, Kyla.” Hell. Was he an expert on doing lame?
She must have thought so, because she left the door chained. “What are you doing here, Tanner?”
“I missed you.” Tanner didn’t know which of them was more surprised by his words.
“You disappeared,” she said. Her look was clear: Don’t think you have a chance at a repeat of our night together, Tanner. You had your chance, and you lost it.
“I was only ever going to be living here for three or four weeks. But it was an…experience,” he said, pasting on his most charming smile. “Why don’t you invite me in?”
“I don’t understand. Who moves into a place for only that little stretch of time?” The door shut as she unlatched the chain. She opened her door wider, but she blocked the opening, letting him know that he definitely wasn’t being invited inside.
“It’s a long story and I don’t want to get into it,” he told her.
“Everything seems to be a long story to you. You seem to love keeping your secrets. That’s fine with me, Tanner, because I don’t see that we really have anything to talk about. You moved in, we had sex, you moved on. It’s pretty much the end of our story.”
Though she was trying to be flippant, he could see the hurt behind her eyes and in her voice. Kyla wasn’t the type of woman a man slept with and then left with only a few words and no explanations. He’d known that all along, and yet he’d still done it. He was the type of man mothers warned their daughters about.
The thought didn’t sit well with him.
“I would like to take you out on a real date, Kyla. If you come with me, I’ll tell you more of my story.”
“I don’t think so, Tanner. I just…I don’t think we have anything in common.”
“We sure had a lot in common on Christmas Eve,” he said, leaning toward her, taking in her sweet scent and instantly flooded with desire for her. Even without makeup and wearing sweats, she turned him on far more than his last supermodel had during their one-night stand.
“That’s sex, Tanner. There’s a difference between having good sex and having a relationship. Does that come as a surprise to you? No, I didn’t think so. We both knew when we slept together that it wasn’t going to lead into anything more. So I expected not to sleep with you again. But I didn’t expect you to completely disappear.”
“You said you wanted to be alone,” he said in a helpless effort at self-defense.
“I did. Thank you for respecting that.”
“Have you made any decisions?”
“Not yet. I spoke to my parents’ attorney. I think I’m going to sell the house. I just can’t stay there. It would hurt too badly, and the place I loved needs to have people in it who will create their own happy memories. I want to wait until I’m sure, however; I don’t want to do anything rash.”
“I think that’s wise. But it’s time for you to start living again.”
“Yes, I agree, which is why I spoke to the admissions office at my old college this week. I’m hoping to get back to school for spring term, though I’m cutting it close. I’ll have to see if it works out.”
“That’s wonderful, Kyla.” Shockingly, he actually meant it.
“I think you should go now, Tanner. It’s been nice seeing you, though.” She tried to shut the door, but he blocked it with his hand.