“You expect me to believe you want me to go?”
“Why are you doing this? You don’t want a relationship, you don’t want anything even remotely resembling one, so what is the point in pushing this? You can’t be that hard up for sex that you’d harass someone who isn’t interested.”
He fisted a hand into her ringlets and tugged so she’d look up at him. “I have to have you, Jaxx. I want to f**k you so bad my c**k actually f**king hurts. They might not be sweet, flowery, poetic words – the kind you’d laugh at – but that’s the truth. I have to know what it’s like to be deep inside you.” He felt the tremor that ran through her. “You think I can’t tell that you want me?” Before she could bark out a denial, he ground himself against her again and watched her bite back a moan. Then his arms were like steel bands around her and he was kissing her again; his tongue plundering her mouth, demanding a response…
…a response that Jaxxon just couldn’t give him. This was someone who had already devastated her once before, whether he knew it or not. She would be a complete idiot to set herself up for more hurt. But he wouldn’t be shoved away, wouldn’t free her mouth, hell he wouldn’t even remotely loosen his hold on her. Desperate to be free, Jaxxon played him at his own game. She slid her hand down his chest, down his belly, and down to his pulsing erection. He groaned and pushed into her hand, and that was when she squeezed hard and twisted, eliciting a sharp cry of pain from him.
“Jesus, Jaxx,” he coughed out as he staggered backwards and bent over, cupping his dick.
Her voice was deadly calm. “Playtime’s over. I advise you to piss off out of here and don’t even think about coming back.”
He straightened up and met her eyes. For a minute he was lost in the catlike gaze that speared him. Then he saw the apprehensiveness and uncertainty there. Clearly the whole thing unsettled her just as much as it did him. He wouldn’t push it. For now. But he still had questions. “You’ve yet to explain your sudden change of heart toward me.”
But that’s the problem, she thought, there’s been no change in the heart department at all. She forced a snort. “Sudden change? It’s been eight years, Connor. Not eight days.”
“But it’s been one hell of a change, wouldn’t you say? You went from caring about me to trying to freeze me out – which won’t work, by the way. Christ, Jaxx, if I’m supposed to have done something to hurt you just tell me!”
“You know, I’m pretty sure I’ve told you at least four times already to get out!”
Connor squeezed his eyes shut and massaged his temples, willing himself under control. It wasn’t just his temper she was prodding, it was his dick. The angrier she got the more she bloody aroused him. “Babe, you have absolutely no idea how close I am to the edge. Believe me when I say that if you keep pushing, my c**k is just going to take over and I’ll f**k the answer right out of you.”
She laughed at the absurdity of his statement. “How you’ve even got a hard-on again after I near snapped it, I’ll never know.”
“I don’t think you understand, Jaxx, I’m deadly serious.”
“Yeah? Well if I were you I wouldn’t bank on getting very far, I’m a bit of an expert on fighting off overactive cocks.” He went very still, and Jaxxon realised what she had just blurted out. Shit.
“And why would you be an expert at it?” His words were coated with menace. “For you to be an expert at it, you’d have to have had practice. And for you to have had practice, some people must have tried to force themselves on you.” His gut clenched at the thought of it. Rage was practically steaming from him. He noticed that she was keeping her face carefully blank. “Jaxx, the time for holding back answers is over. Who hurt you?”
Jaxxon felt her face contort with anger. “Oh no, you don’t get to waltz back into my life and return to the role of protector. You weren’t even interested in my existence until I landed on Planet Celebrity. Well I hope you enjoyed the interlude in our lack of contact because this will be the last we ever see of each other. Now get out.”
If Connor hadn’t been so livid he might have argued her point or insisted on staying, but he knew that if he didn’t leave now he would end up pressing her over these memories that she obviously didn’t want to dreg up. His voice was barely controlled. “I’ll be in touch.” As he reached the door he yelled over his shoulder, “Oh and get rid of that ponce. If you want him to live, that is.” The slamming of the door gave extra emphasis to his threat.
For a long moment she just stood there trying to regain her sense of equilibrium and wondering how the hell things had gone from her finally being the dictator of the direction of her life to having that control snatched from under her. The man was like a force of nature, storming in and robbing her of her center with his kisses and his insistence on having her, even arrogantly expecting her to ditch her boyfriend – however non-existent he was – just to placate him! And for what, one shag? Maybe two? This was irrevocable evidence that blokes really were led around by their dicks.
What was she supposed to do now? She knew he wouldn’t let her rejection faze him. No. And he wouldn’t proceed cautiously and gently. He would swoop in and demand and browbeat and then ravish her with those kisses until he had totally worn her down. The frightening thing was that it would be so easy for her to melt into him like that, this bloke she cared for in spite of herself. Especially when she had the young teenager in her reveling at how she’d just been thoroughly kissed by Connor McKenzie. That freaked her out like nothing else could. So, basically, she would be fighting herself just as much as she would be fighting him. Yet, giving in to him wasn’t an option. She couldn’t let herself get involved with someone, no matter how brief, who had so much power over her. It would be so easy for him to hurt her.
Was there a book on how to get rid of someone who didn’t accept the word ‘no’, didn’t care for other people’s wishes unless they matched his own, and would laugh at a restraining order?
The ringing of her mobile phone pulled her from her thoughts. It was a ‘Withheld Number’. If it was Connor he could bet his arse she’d be hanging up. “Hello.” She was surprised at how fatigued she sounded. No answer. “Hello.” Just like the other day, there wasn’t a single sound coming from the other end. Not even the sound of breathing. She growled and ended the call. Bronty gave her a curious look. She was still disappointed in her traitor of a pet who apparently welcomed that selfish, arrogant caveman with open paws. “Some thanks that is for saving your arse from death’s door, Scooby bloody Doo,” she grumbled.