She went home that Thursday and we cried as we hugged goodbye and we promised to visit each other that summer. We had already chosen each other as roommates for our sophomore year so we knew that we would be together again when we came back to school. I was going home Saturday morning and I couldn’t wait to get there so that I could have some distance between Jonathan and me. It would be much easier for me if he wasn’t living right below me. There were so many times after I broke up with Jonathan that I wanted to run downstairs and give him a hug, but I didn’t do it. I kept telling myself that breaking up was the right thing to do.
I was packing my suitcase on Friday afternoon when I heard a light knock at my door. My heart began to pound against my chest because most of the girls on my floor had already gone home and I figured that the only person it could be was Jonathan coming to talk to me about getting back together. My palms were sweaty and my mouth was dry as I braced myself and opened the door.
I was completely surprised to see Jonathan’s aunt Lauren at my door. I gave her a cautious smile and told her to come in.
“Sorry to drop in on you like this Skylar, but can I talk to you for a few minutes?”
“Uh, sure.” I had no idea what she could possibly want to talk to me about but I was ready to listen.
“Jonathan doesn’t know that I came to see you. We’re all here for the graduation tomorrow, obviously, and I thought I would come and see how you’re doing because he told me that you broke up with him. He is taking it really hard; I’ve never seen him so sad. Do you mind if we talk about this?”
I did kind of mind but I didn't want to be rude because they had all been so nice to me, so I decided to try to help her understand what happened.
“No, I don’t mind.” My voice was soft because I knew that this was not going to be easy.
"Okay, Jonny told me that you broke up with him because you didn't want to get in the way of him following his dreams. Let me tell you a little bit about how Jake and I met because I don’t want you to make the same mistake that I did.”
Hmmm, this I’ve got to hear.
“Jake and I met in college, just like you and Jonathan and, just like you, right before graduation I broke up with Jake.”
This surprised me. “You did? Why?”
“I got into law school in Chicago and Jake was supposed to work for his family in New York and he was going to throw all of that away so that he could be with me in Chicago. His father had been grooming him to take over the family business with his brother ever since he was a young boy, and it was expected that that was what he was going to do. Jake didn't want to be away from me so he was planning to tell his father that he was not going to work for the company and he was going to figure out something else to do in Chicago. I didn’t want him to do that because he was going to be throwing away an incredible opportunity that I felt one day he might resent me for, and I didn’t want that to happen. So I told him that I had to focus on law school and that it would be best for us to break up and he should go work for his father’s company. He wasn’t happy about it at all, but he didn’t have a choice so we broke up.”
“How did he take it?”
“He was devastated, and so was I, but we went our separate ways and it just so happened that at our 10 year college reunion we saw each other and it was as if no time had passed because we picked up right where we left off. So, because everything eventually worked out with us, if I had the chance to do it all over again would I do everything the same? Absolutely not. I lost 10 years with Jake and I will never be able to get those 10 years back. Jake is the love of my life and he is the person that I was meant to be with, and I knew that the moment that I met him.”
I could feel the tears welling up as she spoke to me because it was like she was talking about what Jonathan and I had.
"Skylar, Jonathan really loves you and I know my nephew, he's like his father and he's like his uncle, they know when they've met the right woman for them and I truly believe that Jonathan feels that way about you. I have never seen him as happy as he was when he was with you. You need to follow your heart and not worry about you getting in the way of his dreams. If you both love each other like I think you do, don’t let the love slip away.”
“But he’s going to be gone for so long and his life is going to really change.”
“Yes it is, but he loves you. He might be on tour, but he can fly you to visit him anywhere whenever your school schedule permits. If you truly love him Sky, go to him and tell him that you want to be with him and you’ll both figure out a way to make things work. Don’t do what I did and miss out on precious time together. This kind of love comes around once in a lifetime and I would hate for you both to miss it.”
I wiped away my tears as her words sank in.
“Well dear, that’s all I wanted to say. Thank you for listening. I’ll let you get back to packing and I hope to see you again soon.”
Lauren smiled at me and gave me a big hug and then left, and I had to admit that talking to her made me feel better about things with Jonathan. I thought about everything that she said to me. She missed out on 10 years with her husband who she knew was the love of her life, and looking back she said she knew that it was a mistake to break up with him before graduation.
Was I making the same mistake? Did I break up with him because I thought it was the best thing for him, or because I was afraid of getting my heart broken? If I was being honest with myself I knew I did it to protect myself, and you know what? That was a pretty selfish thing to do. I sat there dumbfounded looking around at everything and nothing at the same time.
What am I doing? Skylar, what are you doing? Why am I going to throw away what we have?
All of a sudden something just clicked and I flung open my door and ran downstairs to Jonathan's room to see him. He looked pretty sad as he was packing his suitcase and I gently knocked on the door so that he would know that I was standing there. His eyes were full of sorrow as he looked at me and I wanted to make it go away.
I didn’t say anything, I just walked right over to him and put my arms around him and held on tight. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his body shake as he sobbed on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for everything. I’ve been such an idiot Jonathan. I love you and I don’t want to lose you. If you still want me we can figure this out. I don’t want to break up with you.”