Ari sat there as she received blow after blow from his words. She didn’t care about any of this. She wanted neither his money nor his condo. She’d made it just fine her entire life without him, and she would make it again after he was gone.
What she wanted to do right now was make a dignified exit from the room. She stood up and nearly did just that. Wasn’t it more than obvious that he wanted her purged from his life?
No. She’d come there to say something, and she’d always regret it if she didn’t get the chance. He might be saying goodbye to her, but if this was her last night seeing Rafe, then she needed him to know how she felt.
“Rafe, I love you. I know you warned me not to care. I know I broke the rules, but I can’t help it that my heart has opened to you. I can’t contain what I’m feeling. I understand that you’re telling me goodbye, but I have to say this. I have to let you know that somewhere in the middle of all this madness, I fell for you. I don’t want to let you go, not today, tomorrow or ever. I want you to let me love you.”
Never had Ari said that to a man before. Never had she opened herself up so far. He could rip her in half right now, and there would be nothing she could do to stop it. She had never imagined how frightening it would feel to be so vulnerable.
Rafe stood before her, not showing a hint of what he was feeling. As he quietly gazed at her, Ari’s heart stopped. She didn’t know whether his silence was a good or bad thing. Would he accept what she was offering him?
Finally, his lips turned up in the smallest hint of a smile, and hope surged through her. He didn’t seem angry — that was a positive sign. If he truly gave them a chance, she knew they could be happy together.
When he remained silent, a shimmer of fear tried crawling in, but she suppressed it. He was just surprised, that was all. He’d been trying to tell her goodbye, and she was telling him she loved him. That would give anybody human pause, wouldn’t it?
“Ari…”
Without realizing she was even doing so, Ari felt her body stiffen. She’d laid it all out there and she could hear the sound of rejection in his tone. With one word, she knew it was over. How could she have been so wrong?
“You don’t need to say it, Rafe. You told me from the beginning that this would never be more than an affair. I was the one who broke the rules. I apologize for that.” Ari was relieved when her voice came out sounding just about as cold as his did.
“Do not presume to know my thoughts, Ari. I can speak for myself,” he snapped, real emotion appearing in his tone for the slightest moment before he once again made his expression blank. He took a step toward her.
“I’m going to leave now.” Ari turned as his hand reached for her. She looked at his grasping fingers, then up into his chilling eyes.
“It doesn’t need to be this way. I’ve planned on ending this, but I’ve been satisfied with you as my mistress. We can forget all about this emotional dilemma and go back to the way things have been.”
Again, his voice sounded almost dead, as if he didn’t care what happened, or what she did.
“Is it so much easier for you to keep screwing the girl you’re familiar with than to go through your application process all over again? Contrary to what you may think of me, Rafe. I’m not a whore, and I’m no longer for sale. Take what you want from me and my mother — I just don’t care about any of it.”
Ari was done with his game. She was done with his brutal ambivalence toward her, the way he blew hot or cold but nothing in between. She’d fallen in love with him, though she didn’t see how, and now she was standing before him completely disillusioned.
“Would you like to see something, Rafe? Look at what I wore for you.” She tore off her coat and revealed the nightgown beneath, the lacy fabric skimming her curves, hinting boldly at her womanly treasures. The only treasures from her that he’d seemed to value throughout their months of intimacy. “Look at it. I paid a fortune for this frivolous confection of lace. And why? To speak to you in the only way you seem to appreciate. Sex… And submission.”
“Ari, please…”
“No, Rafe. I am finally able to tell you my feelings, and they’re not the ones I would have thought. Here they are. What I did disgusts me. And you disgust me. We are both better than our actions suggest, but I’m not sure I can forgive you, or myself. Still, I will walk away with my head held high because I loved you honestly, and because I am leaving you honestly. I am leaving you so I can do what I should have been doing all along. I refuse to submit to you or to any man who does not submit to me. Openly, honestly, and lovingly.”
Ari picked up her long coat and shrouded herself in it. Rafe still sat there unmoving, silent and grim. She knew somewhere inside, she was hurting, but she pushed that away. Too many women allowed a man to upend their lives — abuse them — neglect them — treat them as if they were beneath them. That was over for her.
When Ari resumed speaking, her tone had changed from defiant to sad. “And you, Mr. Palazzo? As long as you continue to blame all women for the wounds inflicted by one, you’ll never be the man you should be. You’ll never truly live your life. And I pity you.”
“Ari. I’ll say it again. It doesn’t need to be this way.”
“Yes it does, Rafe. Goodbye.”
This time when she pulled her arm, he released her, and Ari walked from his room with as much dignity as she could muster. She knew that pain would eventually set in, but for now she felt an odd sense of numbness protecting her shattered heart.
She was free to go. To her greatest surprise, she realized that she didn’t want that freedom she’d so coveted more than three months ago. She wanted him to be somebody that he wasn’t. She wanted the man who had danced on a quiet balcony with her, laughed at a stupid joke, and made her stretch her wings and fly. He was in there…somewhere, but she now realized she couldn’t reach him. Holding her head high, she walked through the door and straight down the steps, making her way outside, where she found the car still waiting.
Rafe must have told Mario not to leave. He’d known she wouldn’t be there long.
“Ms. Harlow, I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon,” Mario said with surprise as he came jogging out from a side door. “I was just getting ready to park the car for the evening.”
“Please take me home,” she said in a firm voice. She didn’t wait for him to open the door, but gripped the handle and flung it open.