They finished their lunch, keeping the topics on anything but the two of them, and Ari found herself relaxing. When they were done, a man came in and quietly removed all traces of the meal, and then Rafe pulled out the journal.
Ari gladly took it, excited to get started again. Soon she was lost in the world of William and Saphronia, and she didn’t notice when Rafe got up and left.
She also didn’t notice when the floor was closed off and she was left all alone with Rafe.
Hours passed without Ari’s notice. When most of the lights downstairs in the library went out, and they dimmed on the floor she was on, she kept on reading. She was oblivious to the rest of the world as she sank into the tragic love story between William and Saphronia.
The days creep by with an agonizing slowness, and now two full months are lost in uncertainty, nay, in terror. No word from you has reached my eager hands, and I do not know whether you are still among the living or — I cannot force my pen to write such words. Without you, my life is all confusion and woe. My father has demanded that I marry another, a man who is twenty years my senior, a man whose habits and tastes are utterly uncongenial, a man whom I could never love — even if you had not appropriated that most tender of feelings all to yourself. Father declares that this man will be able to take care of me and provide a secure life for my future children. I have expressed my love for you and you alone, but he says he would never sanction a marriage with a man who is a mere soldier and one who has cast his lot in with the North, among people who, in his words, would deprive his family and those around us of their rights and their freedom. He adds, so cruelly, that you will likely die on the field of battle or find another helpmeet with whom to spend your life, and that I am giving into silly and girlish ideas. Oh, if only a letter from you would reach me and tell me how you are and whether I am still the object of your devotion, just as you are of mine! I will never give up — not even with my dying breath.
Our rigid system of social laws should not allow me, a mere girl, even to ponder such an act as I am pondering — to leave one’s home and one’s connections is against all maidenly training. But should I come to you? Despite all the dangers of war, whither thou goest, I will go. If I hear nothing from you, then I must do just that.
I love you with a devotion that absorbs all else.
Ever yours,
Saphronia
Ari couldn’t stop a tear from falling as she read a letter so fraught with suffering. The terror Saphronia was feeling — the pain and anguish of not knowing whether William was alive or dead. It would be too much for anyone to bear. If she were Saphronia, she too would have crossed enemy lines to find out.
“Are you enjoying the journal?”
Ari jumped as Rafe sat down on the table next to the journal. She quickly spirited it over, not wanting the delicate tome to get harmed.
“Oh, yes, Rafe. You really should read this. It’s very beautiful,” she said, although knowing he just couldn’t appreciate it the way she did.
“I already told you that I would like for you to tell me all about it,” he said, lifting his hand and stroking her cheek.
Ari lost all concentration on the book as she looked into Rafe’s eyes. That was the point when she noticed the quiet. Of course, it was a library, but she heard nothing, not the turning of pages, or the rustle of books being removed from shelves.
She tore her gaze from Rafe and looked around, noticing how dim the library lighting was.
“Are they closing?” she asked, thinking it was probably a wise idea for the two of them to leave.
“They closed an hour ago. It’s just you and me,” he said.
Ari’s head whipped back around to Rafe and saw the ardor in his eyes.
Oh, no.
She wasn’t strong enough for this. It’s why she’d chosen to meet him in public.
“How are we able to be here all alone?”
“I funded this library. They are more than accommodating when I have a special request.”
She should have known he would somehow take a level playing field and “un-level” it to make it work completely to his advantage. She was dealing with Rafe, after all.
“I think it’s time to go,” she said as she stood.
“Not yet.” He stood, too, and drew her into his arms. “I’ve been dying to do this all day.”
With that, he pulled her against him and didn’t hesitate to press his lips to hers. Ari resisted for all of two seconds before she gave in to him.
What would the harm be to feel pleasure for just a few moments? Would it really break her heart to be with him one more time? Maybe it would be good for her. Maybe she would finally get over him for good. It seemed the tender love story of William and Saphronia had weakened the walls of protection around her heart.
She didn’t know whether she was just trying to convince herself or not, but she knew that she wanted this — wanted him so much, it was burning her entire body alive. She didn’t have the will to resist anymore. She just wanted to be taken to another world.
And Rafe could certainly do that.
“I want you, Ari. Tell me no, and I’ll stop.” He leaned back to look into her eyes.
She didn’t want to tell him no. She didn’t want to stop.
“I should…” She hesitated as his hands made their way down her back and gripped her hips, tugging her against his hardness.
“No, you shouldn’t. What you should do is enjoy every second of this, accept what only I can give you and cry out in pleasure,” he said, nibbling her neck.
Oh, yes, that was the right place.
“I need…” She didn’t know how to complete that sentence. She needed so much.
“You need me,” he said. He lifted her up and sat her on a high table, spreading her legs apart, wedging himself between her thighs, pressing his concealed hardness against her heat.
At that moment she was grateful that she was wearing a skirt, that she could feel the hardness of his arousal through the thin silk of her panties.
Though turmoil boiled inside her, she did want him, she did want the pleasure he could give. Her desire outweighed her guilt at betraying herself and her principles.
“Yes, I want you,” she admitted.
Rafe stopped moving against her; he looked into her eyes, his body pressed tightly against hers. He’d been pushing and pushing, and now he hesitated. But she didn’t want to give herself time to back out of this. She wanted him.
“You’re sure?” he asked.
“Yes.” As he gazed at her, she was more than sure.