“I know. It’s strange how things are changing,” Shane replied, his fingertips gently trailing over her back. He had to tell her what was happening. He was leaving the day after the wedding. He had to let her know. With this mission, he wasn’t sure when — or if — he would be back again.
It wasn’t fair to keep her in the dark.
“I’d be happy to just lie here with you all day and night. I am looking forward to going back to the project. It’s been nice to be home, but I’ve gotten used to it over there. I won’t mind going back to our island for a while,” she said.
Guilt was now eating him alive.
“There’s something I have to talk to you about, Lia,” he began.
“What is it? You sound worried,” she murmured, her voice sleepy as she rubbed her hand along his chest. The touch of her fingers was mesmerizing him. He wanted nothing more than to just drift off to sleep with Lia by his side, but he had to say something.
Tomorrow was Rafe’s bachelor party and then the wedding. He couldn’t put this off any longer.
“I won’t be going back to the island for a few weeks. I have another task I have to do.”
She paused in rubbing his chest, and he was sorely tempted to end the conversation, have her stay relaxed in his arms while they held each other.
“Why?” she asked. She tilted her head, looking at him in the pale bedroom light.
“I can’t explain, but I’m going to be gone on a task,” he said, suspecting his answer wouldn’t be good enough.
As she stiffened in his arms, he knew he was right. This would just feel to her as if he were dumping her. That wasn’t it. For the first time since he’d been recruited for a special-operations agency, he hated his job — hated that he couldn’t tell her the truth.
“I don’t understand.”
How could she understand?
“Do you remember when I was younger? I did my tour with the army,” he began.
“Yes, but that was a long time ago. You served your time and quit,” she said, her voice confused.
“Not exactly. I’m part of a team — I’m still in the military, but I can’t talk about it,” he said, almost loathing himself in this moment.
“What? I don’t understand, Shane. I know you quit after four years,” she said. He heard the mistrust in her voice.
“It’s complicated, Lia, but I am still part of the military and I have to keep it private. I really can’t talk about it,” he said, his arm tightening around her when she wriggled against him, tried to pull free.
“Let go, Shane. I want to see your face,” she demanded.
With reluctance, he loosened his grasp and she sat up, pulling the blanket with her to cover her chest as she stared down at him. Feeling at a disadvantage, he moved upward, sitting against the headboard.
“I’m sorry, Lia. I know I should have said something earlier, but I couldn’t without going into a lot of detail. I…I don’t really know how to explain this. My hands are tied.”
She gazed at him as if trying to figure out whether anything he was telling her was the truth.
“If you don’t want to be with me, Shane, you don’t need to make up a story. I’m a big girl and can handle it. I’ve been broken up with before, but I have to tell you, this is the most original story I’ve heard yet,” she snarled.
“It’s not a story, Lia. I don’t want to leave you. For the first time, I don’t want to go, but I have no choice,” he said and tried to pull her close.
She recoiled from him, not allowing his hands to wrap around her. Shane blew out a breath in frustration. Nothing with Lia was easy, but then he wouldn’t love her as he did if she weren’t such a strong woman.
“So, you want me to believe that you’re some special agent with the military, and you have to go on a top-secret mission. You’ll return when you can, but then you may just be swept off again when the time is right,” she said, her words oozing with sarcasm.
“I don’t expect you to be happy about it, but I’ve never lied to you, Lia. Not once,” he said, looking her square in the eyes.
“I guess I wouldn’t know that, Shane. You’re doing a damn fine job of looking me in the face while you tell me this story right now.”
“It’s not a story, Lia. I have to leave for a while, but I shouldn’t be gone more than three weeks tops.”
“Wait! All those times you were supposedly in other countries building homes and helping the poor — were you on missions then, too?”
“Not every time, but yes, often,” he answered.
“Then I guess you have lied to me, Shane, because I thought you were helping people,” she snapped.
“I am helping people. Do you know the lives we save?” he thundered in frustration. He risked his life every time he suited up for a mission. She was acting as if what he did was wrong, was selfish.
“Well, I don’t believe you, Shane. I think you are just freaking out because things have moved too fast between us. I knew this would happen. When we were on the deserted island, just the two of us, it was easy to believe that everything was perfect, that nothing else mattered. Now, we’re back in the real world again, and you’re getting cold feet. That’s fine. I don’t care. I’m a big girl and can take care of myself. However, I’ve known you far too long for you to disrespect me with a story like this. If you were in the military, I would know. Hell, Rafe would know, and that’s something he wouldn’t keep from me,” she said.
He knew he must have a guilty expression on his face, because her eyes narrowed and she looked at him with dawning horror.
“He does know, doesn’t he? You’re actually telling me the truth!”
“Rafe and I go back a long way. He knew me when things were rough in my life. He’s my brother, Lia,” he tried to explain.
She threw her hands in the air, forgetting that she was clutching the blanket to her chest. It fell, exposing her perfect br**sts to his view. He knew it wasn’t a smart decision to stare at their beauty, not when she was so pissed off, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d held their weight in his hands, tasted them on his tongue. It was impossible not to look.
The hard slap to his face showed him the error of his ways.
“Don’t you dare look at me like that, Shane. I am so beyond mad at you, I don’t think you’ll ever have the privilege of touching my body again. And it’s your loss!”