“No. I don’t want to have another baby. Ginny is enough,” Simon Hudson insisted gruffly to his wife.
Kara Hudson gave her husband of two years an obstinate look. But really, it was difficult to get truly angry at Simon. Her eyes roamed over his fierce expression as he held their sleeping baby closely against his chest. How did a woman get irritated with the man who was holding their child in his arms as if she was the most precious thing in his life?
She and Simon had had this discussion about having another baby several times over the last few months. Kara didn’t want Ginny to be an only child. She knew what that was like; the loneliness had been almost unbearable when she’d lost her parents in a car accident right after she graduated from high school.
Kara hadn’t always been rich, married to one of the wealthiest men on the planet. Simon had rescued her from homelessness, and then proceeded to turn her inside out with a fierce, protective, all-consuming love that had changed her entire existence. Her husband might be one of the most stubborn men on the planet, but she loved him with every fiber of her being.
That’s why I hurt so much right now. I need him to want me the way he used to, to consider having another baby together so Ginny isn’t an only child like I was.
It wasn’t like she wanted another child immediately. Ginny was only sixteen months old. But Kara at least wanted to discuss it. She couldn’t figure out Simon’s reasoning for being so adamant about not having another baby someday. He was an incredible daddy, and he loved their daughter so much, but he seemed almost terrified of having another child. Crossing her arms in front of her, she asked him calmly, “So this is going to be all your decision?”
“Fuck,” was Simon’s grumbling response. “I can’t win. I want you to be happy, but I don’t want you to have another baby.”
The frustration on his face made Kara’s heart melt. He always wanted her happiness. Most of the time they compromised when they didn’t agree, but this wasn’t really a situation where any give-and-take was possible. They either had a baby…or they didn’t. Moving forward, she gently traced the scar on Simon’s whiskered cheek, her heart skittering as his eyes flared with heat. “I want you to be happy, too. You adore Ginny. I don’t understand.”
Things had changed since their daughter was born, Simon’s previously fierce desire for her body seemingly diminishing. At five-foot-eight, Kara could carry some extra baby weight that she hadn’t managed to take off, no matter how hard she tried. But the additional pounds definitely showed, her figure more rounded, and probably not as attractive. Simon now treated her with gentle tenderness, like she was as fragile as blown glass. Every time they had sex, he used a condom, even though she was on birth control.
No more spontaneous, carnal sexual interludes.
No more uncontrollable passion, both of them unable to wait until they had torn each other’s clothing off to satiate themselves.
No more caveman possessiveness, when her husband had been a dominant beast, demanding her surrender.
And she missed all of those things. Badly. Simon could still drench her panties with one look from those dark eyes of his, make her want to grasp his coarse, dark hair and kiss him until he lost control. The problem was, he didn’t lose control. Not anymore. The condom usage and the lack of passion had made her afraid to even try to test his boundaries. She was too afraid that she couldn’t cross them anymore, and it would crush her heart to have verification that he didn’t feel the same way about her as he had when they were first married.
He was giving her one of his dark stares, stroking a gentle hand down Ginny’s back in an unconsciously protective manner as he answered hoarsely, “I can’t do it again, Kara. I can’t.”
She took her hand away from his face, dropping it to her side. “Okay,” she relented. “I’m going to work out. Can you put Ginny down for her nap?” Kara needed a good, hard run on the treadmill. It was obvious that Simon wasn’t in the mood to talk, and this wasn’t a situation where they could negotiate.
Not waiting for him to answer, she bit her lip to keep her tears from falling as she turned and walked toward their home gym.
“Kara?” Simon called after her in an urgent, yet strangely hesitant tone.
She stopped, but didn’t turn around. “Yes?”
“You and Ginny make me happy. I don’t need anything more,” he answered in a low, serious voice. “But if you really won’t be happy without having another baby, I’ll think about it,” he grumbled unhappily.
She turned and gaped at him, astonished that he was backtracking.
He’s doing it for me, even though I can see it’s killing him to even think about it.
Nodding slowly, she swallowed hard as she looked at the heart-wrenching sight of Simon and Ginny together. Dressed in jeans and a tan fisherman’s sweater, her husband was the hottest man on the planet to her. Although Kara was fairly certain that Simon had gotten over being self-conscious about his scars, she could never really explain to him that there had never been another man who moved her like he did—not even close. Her husband and child were her entire life now. “I’ll think about it, too,” she agreed huskily. “Maybe it wouldn’t be so horrible for Ginny to be an only child. It was just hard for me because my parents died when I was so young.”
“Ginny will never be in the position you were in, sweetheart,” Simon promised. “Even if she’s an only child, I’ll give her enough love to make up for not having siblings. And she’ll never be alone and penniless,” he vowed fiercely.
“I know.” Kara’s response was gentle, knowing Simon had already made sure Ginny’s future was secure. And her daughter would always have Simon’s mother and her Uncle Sam and Aunt Maddie. Ginny adored her cousins, Noah and Brianna. She probably wouldn’t really feel the lack of family in the future.
“I’ll take care of Ginny right now. Relax,” Simon demanded.
Kara smiled at him weakly, loving to hear him being his usual bossy self. She’d learned a long time ago that he wasn’t really arrogant; his sometimes overbearing dominance was manifested by protectiveness and not selfishness. “I’m going to torture myself on the treadmill. It’s hardly relaxing.” Turning again, she made her way to her workout, pondering Simon’s comments.
Maybe I’m overreacting because of my own history. I love my daughter, and I don’t really feel a desperate need to have another child. But Simon’s such a good father. Why doesn’t he want another baby?