The end result was that Ariana felt twice as guilty over the rift with Zoe, because at least she had family, while Sam had none. And she agonized because she couldn’t find a way to fix things for an innocent child, the victim of other people’s decisions, not her own.
A knock sounded on the door and Ariana turned, startled. Her mother strode inside, tying her black silk robe around her waist as she walked. “I heard noises and thought I’d find you in here.”
Ariana swallowed hard. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“It wasn’t you. Your father’s snoring did that hours ago.”
Ariana laughed. Nicholas always fell asleep, mouth open, the most obnoxious noises coming from deep in his chest. When they were kids, she and Zoe would toss popcorn at his open mouth in an effort to see who had the best aim.
She glanced at her mother and grinned. “I don’t know how you stand it.” Her mother had been complaining about her father’s irritating habit for years.
Elena shrugged. “When you love someone, little things like snoring don’t bother you.” Elena placed a hand on Ariana’s shoulder. “And one day, you’ll have feelings so strong, you’ll understand what I mean.”
Without warning, Ariana thought of Quinn. She wondered if he snored—and if she’d ever find out.
“Now tell me. How’s Quinn?” her mother asked as if reading her mind.
“He’s fine, as you well know, since you sent him over to Aunt Kassie’s place earlier.”
“And how was your dinner?” she asked, casual as she pleased.
“What would you expect with Daphne hovering and Gus telling him our sordid stories?”
Elena smiled. “At least Quinn knows what he’s getting himself into. And this one’s got strong character. He won’t run just because your family’s got their own special quirks.” Her mother brushed a strand of hair out of Ariana’s eyes. “I always told you that Jeffrey had a stick up his behind.”
“Mom, please. Let’s not relive history, okay?”
“Of course not. I just want you happy and I think Quinn’s a good man.”
“Good enough to make me come back home, you mean?” Ariana figured it was time to deal with all that was unsaid between mother and daughter.
“It isn’t normal for a daughter to move out and not return for five years. You needed your own life? Fine.” Her mother spread her hands out in front of her. “But to stay away so long? Are we so bad a family?”
Ariana twisted her fingers together and tried to find the words to explain why she’d made the decisions she had. “I was right to leave, because I needed space and I needed to find out who Ariana Costas really was.” But since coming home again, Ariana was forced to acknowledge the scary truth to herself—she still didn’t know.
But there was another truth. And this one she could admit to aloud. “I was wrong not to come home. That was the coward’s way.” She realized that now.
“I still don’t understand why you stayed away.”
Ariana met her mother’s gaze, reaching out for her hand at the same time. “I think that’s the problem. I don’t understand all of you anymore than you understand me. But I promise to try harder, okay?” She made a vow to do just that. She couldn’t look at Sam, who had no family, and turn her back on her own.
“Will you stay then?” her mother asked.
Ariana couldn’t go that far. She shook her head. “I need to live my own life. But I’ll come to visit this time,” she promised.
“If you have such a good life, how come you never discuss it?” Elena asked. “How come I don’t know anything about friends? Men? Your job?”
Ariana winced because her mother had hit a nerve. The life she didn’t talk about was dull compared to life here. Compared to Quinn and the excitement he brought into her days and nights, her life in Vermont was routine. Nothing out of the ordinary ever occurred. Her friends were carbon copies of herself, professors in conservative suits who met for coffee a few nights a week, and turned in early to work the next day. Nothing like her bright and cheery twin, whom she missed badly.
It was exactly the life Ariana had been seeking when she’d left her family behind. She didn’t expect them to understand it and so she kept details to herself, especially now when that life seemed pale in comparison.
She met her mother’s inquiring gaze and had no idea how to explain, so she merely shrugged. “I’ll try to be more open,” she promised her mother.
Elena nodded, a slight smile lifting her lips. “Okay then. How about you start with Quinn?” she asked, not being subtle at all.
Ariana laughed and hugged her mother tight. “I really did miss you,” she told her.
“Then prove it by talking.”
She grinned. “I hate to admit it, but I really like the man.” She drew the line at discussing exactly how much she liked him with her mother. “Unfortunately he’s got his share of secrets. He’s a hard man to get to know.”
“Aah,” her mother said, a knowing sound that gave Ariana the chills. “It’s not like you’re an easy nut to crack yourself,” she reminded Ariana. “Which means you two will have no trouble maintaining the element of the unknown that helps keep things interesting early on in a relationship. As for sexual attraction, well, I’ve witnessed the undercurrents between you. That’s not a problem either.”
While Ariana blushed at her mother’s frank talk, Elena nodded, pleased with what she obviously considered a good match. “Just remember, if you’re going to make it for the long haul, secrets have to give way to trust.”
“There is no long haul. He’s a loner and I’m only visiting,” she felt compelled to remind her mother.
Elena shrugged. “Then just sleep with the man. You wouldn’t want to miss out on a good time. Just make sure you use protection.”
“Mom!” Ariana said, appalled at such a suggestion from her mother.
“I’m not the one who dismissed the more serious possibilities.” Elena sent her a pointed look.
Ariana didn’t like being cornered by her own words.
As if sensing her daughter’s feelings, Elena changed the subject. “So, why can’t you sleep and why are you in your sister’s room?” She sat on the bed and patted the mattress, motioning for Ariana to join her.