“Hey. Are you okay?” Brad asked.
She managed a nod, pushing back the old insecurities that rose up. Because though he was giving her what she wanted, at the heart of everything was the ingrained belief that if her own mother found her lacking, how long before any man she let into her life would do the same?
But Decklan had stood up to her mother for her. And he didn’t view her as the Amanda her mother saw. No one had given her such a gift before.
She glanced at Brad. “I’m good.”
He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, if you can find the guts to invest in a real, honest relationship, maybe I can find the cajones to come out of the closet.”
She shook her head and groaned. “Boy, are we a pair.”
“Always have been,” he agreed. “And we always will be. If nothing else in this life, you and me? We’re solid.” He placed a kiss on her cheek.
“You’re the best.” She stepped back and looked at the message on her phone.
Gathering her courage, she replied. I can be at your place Sunday around five.
His reply came immediately.
I’ll be waiting.
Once Brad left the room, she sat down at her desk and realized she was shaking. Instead of letting the panic engulf her as she always did, she forced herself to think more clearly. She understood exactly where her fear came from. If she kept up this main barrier to a relationship, she remained safe. But Amanda no longer wanted to live her life making Brad’s easier so she didn’t feel things. No. She wanted more of the bright colors of life that Decklan provided.
And she didn’t have to look far for an example of someone who’d conquered her past. Decklan’s sister-in-law, Isabelle, had a man who adored her, a baby on the way, a career in interior design, with a boss who would be giving her leeway on working from home post-baby. A wonderful life, Amanda thought.
But even if she allowed Decklan in all the way, there were no guarantees she’d find what Isabelle and Gabe had. Or that she wouldn’t be hurt or rejected in the end.
FOURTEEN
Decklan kicked back in his brother and Isabelle’s living room, enjoying a lazy Sunday morning. Gabe and Iz still lived in his deluxe apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, but they were talking about moving to the suburbs. Decklan tried not to laugh at the thought of his brother so domesticated, because really, it suited him. At least it suited the man he was now, not the one he’d been before Isabelle.
As for Decklan, if he couldn’t be with Amanda, hanging out with his family was the next best thing. Especially since Lucy had come in from L.A. for the weekend. She was staying with him, but she’d promised to make herself scarce later tonight when Amanda came by. Although she did insist on meeting his new girlfriend before disappearing. Sisters.
“What are you smirking about?” Lucy asked.
She sat cross-legged on the floor in front of a huge-screen television. Her dark hair was pulled into a messy ponytail, and she wore gray sweats. So did he. They were lounging around. There was a repeat of some television show he didn’t normally watch on the screen, and he wasn’t paying too much attention to the TV.
“Just thinking about you, brat.”
“Ha ha.” She stuck out her tongue like when they were kids.
“Very mature. Nobody would believe you decorate the hottest nightclubs in the country.”
She threw a piece of popcorn at him.
“Would you two behave?” Gabe muttered under his breath.
“You know you missed me, big brother.”
He grunted in reply and Isabelle laughed. “I can’t believe how much I missed out on, growing up an only child.”
“Well, you’ve got siblings now,” Decklan assured her. In a short time, because she made his brother so happy, he’d come to think of Isabelle as his sister.
“Aww. Thanks.” Isabelle blew him a kiss and Gabe scowled.
All in all, a typical family gathering.
Soon Lucy and Gabe began talking about their newest project, and Isabelle was flipping through baby books. Decklan grabbed the opportunity to change the channel. He started scanning slowly, pausing on a local station that was discussing a political fund-raiser taking place in the city.
A female reporter stood outside The Plaza Hotel in Manhattan. “And Senator Stephan Ritter is about to make an announcement.”
The senator was well known because over the last few months, the news media was gearing up for the presidential race with constant mentions of possible candidates. Decklan knew of the man and his ultraconservative views but didn’t follow the news on the next president too closely yet. He would when the candidates were narrowed.
“Think the guy will run for president?” Gabe asked.
Decklan glanced at the screen. “That’s what the pundits are saying.
“Oh, look. Here he comes,” Lucy said.
The senator stepped up to a podium. He rambled a bit, and Decklan’s eyes glazed over at the words. But he kept an eye on the screen, watching as the camera panned the audience for their reaction to his statement before returning and remaining focused on the silver-haired man.
“And with the blessing of my family, my wonderful, wife, Stephanie—” The camera captured his wife by his side. “My son, Bradley, and my soon-to-be daughter-in-law, Amanda Collins, along with my campaign manager, Mitchell Dawson, who has been with me from the beginning, as well as my loyal supporters, I hereby announce my intention to run for president of the United States.”
The rest of his statement was drowned out with applause. But the camera continued to land on the people behind the senator, holding for a brief moment on a guy about Decklan’s age in a suit and tie standing hand in hand with a woman Decklan would swear was his Amanda, dressed in a conservative yellow skirt and matching jacket, before moving on to the senator’s staff.
“That looked like Amanda!” Isabelle said on a squeal, confirming what the churning in Decklan’s gut already told him.
“Your Amanda?” Lucy asked.
“Shit,” Decklan muttered, trying to come to terms with what he’d seen. He ran a hand through his hair, wondering if he was suddenly in the middle of a nightmare, not reality.
“Decklan? Don’t jump to conclusions,” Izzy said.
Gabe rose to his feet. “Well, what conclusion is there to draw other than the obvious? That she’s got another life on the side? It’s not like our family doesn’t know about that.”
Gabe referenced their father’s brother, Uncle Robert, in Florida, and the fact that the man had had a wife and four children, along with a mistress with another four kids on the side. And nobody had known a thing. Not until one of his illegitimate daughters had needed bone marrow and Robert had wanted his legitimate kids tested.