Lucah may not be one of those guys who would punch another guy for looking at me, but he was definitely glad Fin was in Europe.
Lucah attacked me as soon as I walked through the door. No hello. No greeting. Just shoved me up against the door, shoved his tongue in my mouth and a few minutes later his dick was shoved inside me as well. What a greeting.
“Hello. Is. Customary,” I panted as he pounded into me and I bit his shoulder to contain my screams. I didn’t want his neighbor knocking on the door again.
“Hello. Miss. Clarke,” he said as he stiffened and then came. I hadn’t, but I knew he would more than make up for it later. I slid down him as I unlocked my legs from around his waist.
He rested his head on top of mine and I could tell he was upset.
“What’s wrong? Not that I don’t enjoy ambush door sex as much as the next girl, but you seem down.” He stepped away from me without a word and went to the bathroom.
Uh oh. I’d never seen this side of him and I didn’t really know how to handle it. Somehow I didn’t think a blowjob and/or me making jokes was going to help. I went to the bathroom and knocked on the door.
“Lucah. Please talk to me.” The door opened and he let me in. I sat on the edge of the tub as he paced. There wasn’t a whole lot of room for pacing, but he was doing it anyway.
“It’s not just this thing with Ryder, Rory. There’s a whole bunch of things that . . . I didn’t mean . . . Why did it have to be you?” He stopped in front of me and then put his hands on both sides of my face.
“Why did you have to be you?”
“Is that a trick question?” I said as he stared at me so deep that I felt like he could see all of my secrets and there was one that I wasn’t ready for him to know yet.
“No, Sunshine. Forget it.” I didn’t want to. He was going through something and I wanted to help. I just wanted him to talk to me. And then it seemed as if whatever had him pacing a moment ago was pushed aside and he frowned.
“Why are you wearing so much makeup?”
22
We were avoiding. Don’t get me wrong, avoiding talking about commitment by having fabulous sex was fun, but sooner or later . . .
I loved him. Over the moon, past the stars, couldn’t breathe, smiled whenever I thought about him, couldn’t keep my hands off him, pictured a wedding and ginger babies and growing old and rocking chairs love. He drove me crazy, made me laugh and understood me in a way that few people did.
I f**king loved him and I wanted everyone to know it. Except Lucah, of course. He was the last person I wanted to know that I loved him. Second only to my dad.
So I told Sloane.
“I knew it. I told you so. How’s it feel?”
I answered truthfully.
“Awful.”
We both laughed.
“Yup, that’s love. Ah, I’d forgotten how much it sucks. You have my sympathies.” I was going to need them. “Are you going to tell him?”
“I’ll have to, at some point. He’s not a moron, he’s going to figure it out. So I love him and I can’t say the words out loud and he’s still hiding things from me and not sharing them with me and it pisses me off because I love him and want to have his ginger babies.”
Sloane gave me a sympathetic face and a hug and offered to make more breakup cake, but I didn’t think that would help. She made the cake anyway, and I was not going to turn down free cake.
There was a knock at the door as I stuffed myself with chocolate, and Sloane went up to get it.
“Emergency girls’ night!” Marisol announced, holding up two bottles of wine. Chloe came behind her with a bag full of movies and the game Cards Against Humanity.
I almost started crying as they forced a glass of wine into my hand and started making even more fattening and delicious snacks.
I could avoid for a little bit longer. He seemed to be doing it.
Lucah texted me when I was on my third glass and I was a wee bit tipsy.
Have to deal with family tomorrow night. Sorry, Sunshine.
I didn’t really have a response for that, so I just typed out Ok, see you tomorrow. I wasn’t drunk enough to not be able to text, but I was getting there.
We had somehow turned Cards Against Humanity into a drinking game, but I was still unsure of the rules, so whenever someone told me to drink, I did.
By the time we got to the second bottle of wine, I was definitely buzzed and feeling good. Warm and fuzzy and kind of in love with everyone. I wouldn’t stop hugging Chloe and she kept threatening to make out with me if I didn’t stop.
“We need more wine,” Sloane said as she poured the last into my glass. I tossed it back and she stumbled to the kitchen and found another bottle.
“Score!” We all cheered as she filled up our glasses again.
An hour later, I was completely toasted. I hadn’t been this gone in a very long time. Maybe not since college. It was kind of nice. My phone buzzed and I picked it up. It was another text from Lucah.
Missing you.
I had an impulse and hit his number and before I knew it, he was picking up and saying, “Hello?”
“I love you. I love you and it sucks because now I’m going to lose my job and all our kids are going to have red hair and I want at least one of them to be blonde, but they’ll probably all have red hair and you’re keeping secrets from me and I love you.” I hung up before he could say anything and he called me back a second later, but I tossed my phone on the table and ignored it.
“You tell him!” Sloane said from her position on the floor. She had been sitting on a chair, but now she was on the floor. I found this wildly funny and we all laughed until we forgot what we were laughing about.
“I’m drunk,” Marisol said.
“Me too.” Chloe moaned and put her head on my shoulder.
We were all drunk.
“Fuck you, sun,” was the first thing I heard the next morning. We’d ended up either on the couch or on the floor.
“Why did we do that?” I finally opened my eyes and instantly regretted it.
“Fuck you, sun,” I said as everyone else moaned and groaned and tried to get up.
We all had to work today, but we were all hopelessly hung over. Damn wine. My phone buzzed and I reached for it, squinting at the clock.
“SHIT!” I was supposed to be at work five minutes ago.
“Why is there screaming?” Chloe moaned as I struggled to get to my feet while my head pounded and my stomach heaved. Nothing short of a miracle was going to get me into the office today. I hadn’t called in sick in two years, but there was absolutely no way I could go in. I grabbed a glass of water to wash my mouth out with and then called my dad.