“No, Mom. I don’t have any news for you on that front.” I held up my left hand and wiggled my ring-free fingers. “We’ve been together less than six months. It’s still too soon, don’t you think?” She fiddled with the drapes.
“Well, you moved in together so soon that I thought maybe the rest of your relationship would move that fast.” She turned around and gave me a smile, but it wasn’t a happy one. She was fishing, and poorly disguising it.
“No, Mom. I just don’t think that we should rush it. Because we’re still young and figuring things out.”
“That’s probably wise,” she said, nodding. It did bother me a tiny bit that she was all sweetness and light in front of Lucah, but then she didn’t seem to approve of our relationship when he wasn’t around. “My parents told me that I rushed into things with your father, but of course I was young and in love and I didn’t listen. But those were different times and I was much more foolish than you are.” She patted my arm and went back to talking about drapes and sconces and curtain rods.
Lucah and I didn’t get to talk until we got back in the car.
“So did my Dad ask you if you were going to propose to me?”
“No, actually. He asked me if I had any more information about the Board, but I didn’t have anything he didn’t already know about. Why, is that what your mom asked you about?” I nodded and told him all about it. I expected him to be shocked, or surprised, but he just burst out laughing.
“I’m glad you think this is funny. I doubt you would have if you’d been in my position.”
“You’re right,” he said, trying to stifle his chuckling. “Your mother is a lovely woman, but she kind of scares the shit out of me sometimes.”
“You and me both.”
13
Sloane was on our couch again and this time she’d been crying. Not exactly what I wanted to come home to.
“I think this is my cue to make myself scarce,” Lucah said, going to hide in the bedroom, but Sloane stopped him.
“No, it’s okay. You can stay.” He nodded and sat down on the other end of the couch and I sat next to Sloane, taking her feet onto my lap. Lucah handed her some tissues.
“What’s going on?”
She blew her nose before she answered. “I was just thinking about Ryder and how right you are about him and how much I don’t want to be attracted to him, but I can’t help it. You know me, Rory. I always have the worst taste in guys. I always pick the ones that are bad for me.” That was true. Her past relationships left a lot to be desired, and a lot of baggage in their wake. Like she didn’t have enough already.
“How can you be this into him? You’ve only met him once.” She shook her head.
“No. We met up after that. Remember that night I said I was staying late at work?” I couldn’t remember the exact night, because she did it a lot. But I agreed in the interest of moving things along.
“Well, we met up for a drink. Just a drink. We both wanted more, but I kept hearing your stupid voice in my head telling me that I was making a mistake. He was . . . he’s not like anyone I’ve ever met and I just wanted to be around him. That was why I wanted to hire him. I also thought, maybe I was being naïve, that I could help him. I know what it’s like to have a brother who’s on drugs.”
She blew her nose. Sloane was pretty much the only one in her family that had made something of herself. She had two brothers and both of them had been in and out of jail, one for drugs and the other for drinking and driving.
“I know what it’s like to deal with someone who has substance abuse. That was part of the reason why . . . I don’t know. I guess maybe I’m just trying to fix him.” Most of the guys she’d dated needed fixing, but she’d always taken them as they were and discarded them when they appeared too broken to work in her life anymore.
“You can’t fix someone, Sloane,” Lucah said.
“I know, I know. I guess I was just fooling myself. Believing in the f**king fairytale. Seeing him again today just . . . it hit me like a punch in the face. I can’t help the way I feel. But I’m going to try, and I’m going to stay away from him until he can get himself together.”
She gave me a sad smile and I wanted to cry. Was there anything as awful as a heartbroken friend?
“Aw, it’ll be okay, I promise.” It might not be okay, and I couldn’t really promise, but that was what you said to your friend when she was upset. I started working on her feet even though we’d had massages that morning. Without me having to ask, Lucah got up and started making tea, and made up a snack platter.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” he announced, setting the plate of snacks down. “I will watch the Sex and the City movie.” Sloane had been trying to get him to watch it for several of our movie nights, but he had vetoed, or left the apartment, every time. I couldn’t understand that he could watch nearly every other movie that was considered a chick flick, but he drew he line at that one. Until now.
Sloane smiled and grabbed a cracker topped with jam from the plate.
“If you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s working.” I grabbed Lucah’s chin and gave him a quick kiss. He was the best of the best.
We ended up watching the movie, and Lucah declared it, “Not as horrible as I thought it would be,” which was as ringing an endorsement as you could get from him about it.
I ended up walking down the hall with Sloane to her place and staying for a while.
“Are you okay, really?” We sat on the couch and she started playing with my hair.
“I just need to let it go. Some things aren’t meant to be, and this is one of those. I just have to accept it, and move on. I just wish I had someone else to take my mind off it, but then I might make some of my typical bad decisions. I’m just not good at being alone, you know?” I did.
“You know I’m here for you, whenever you need me. I didn’t choose Lucah over you. You’re still my best friend. A guy doesn’t change that.”
“I know.” She finished the braid she’d been working on and tossed it over my shoulder. “I don’t mean to be so needy.”
“You’re not needy.” We both knew that was a lie, but we made a silent agreement not to talk about it.
“Okay, go back to your man. I’m going to be fine.” I wanted to believe her.