There was a completely awkward moment when Dad came in with the giant salad bowl. He must have forgotten that Ryder was coming, because he looked up and down the table and then almost dropped the salad bowl, but got it on the table in time.
“You must be Ryder. It’s nice to finally meet another member of Lucah’s family.” He gave him a handshake, and it couldn’t have been my imagination that Dad winced when he shook Ryder’s hand. I’d have to talk to Ryder about that later.
“It’s a honor to meet you, sir. I’ve heard great things.” Lay it on thick, why don’t you? I almost wanted to kick him under the table, but I couldn’t reach.
“Well, I’m sorry I wasn’t out here earlier to welcome you. The dinner was proving to be a little finicky.” Mom got up to help Dad bring the rest of the plates in.
“I thought he’d be taller,” Ryder commented as the rest of us unfolded our napkins and put them in our laps. “I always think people are going to be taller than they turn out to be.” No one commented, but Sloane nudged him to put his napkin in his lap. It was good she sat next to him. I hadn’t even thought about that part of the equation. I’d been too worried about him saying the wrong thing. It was lucky for Ryder that my parents didn’t believe in multiple forks and spoons.
The dinner was laid out and plates and bowls were passed and silverware clinked and Mom, as per usual, kept the conversation light and constant. She talked mostly to Sloane and Ryder, and I had to hand it to him, he held his own, and the word f**k never crossed his lips.
He also seemed to have inherited Lucah’s knack for playing the part a situation would require. Next to me, I felt Lucah relaxing and he started chatting with Dad instead of constantly watching Ryder to make sure he didn’t screw up.
“This is one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time, Sloane’s cooking excluded,” Ryder said as the dessert, little cookie sandwiches with frosting in the middle (very out of character for my parents, but they were probably trying to do something casual to make Ryder feel comfortable) were passed around and coffee was poured.
“Oh, do you have any tea? I’m trying to cut back on my caffeine intake,” I said, and Dad went to put the kettle on.
“Could I have tea as well?” Sloane asked, and then Ryder said he wanted some, too. It was a little bit adorable.
“So, Ryder, how do you like living with your brother again?” Mom said. Uh oh. Potential conversational land mine.
Lucah and I waited for Ryder’s response, hoping that this would continue to go well and not burst into flames.
“Well, at least this time I have my own room. We used to share one, so that’s an improvement.” Ryder seemed to be more open about the specifics of their childhood than Lucah.
“I bet that was fun sometimes, though.” My mother could make a conversation with just about anyone, but I didn’t think she’d ever conversed with anyone like Ryder.
Ryder shrugged.
“It was at least better than that time we lived in the car. Then I didn’t have any room.” What? Lucah had never told me about that. Lucah’s eyes narrowed and I could feel him shooting daggers at Ryder.
Mom seemed taken aback, but recovered quickly. I’d given her a rough outline about Lucah and Ryder’s childhood and that their parents were dead, so she knew not to ask about that.
“But you have a place to stay now, and a brother that cares about you very much. There are some who don’t have anyone.” That was true. I was relieved when Dad brought the tea in and lightened things up.
After that one little hiccup, things went smoothly. We had tea and coffee and then it was time to go. Mom and Sloane hugged with promises of dress fittings, and Dad shook Ryder’s hand and winced again while Ryder said how beautiful the house was and Dad said he was welcome back anytime.
And then we got in the car.
“Why the f**k did you talk about living in a car, Ryder?” Lucah said, the second all the doors closed and everyone’s seatbelt was buckled.
“Oh, are we saying f**k again? Good. That wasn’t easy.” Ryder lay back against the seat and stretched his legs out as much as he could.
“Did you hear what I just said?” Lucah turned in his seat so he could look Ryder full in the face.
“Yes, I heard you. Calm the f**k down. Are you telling me your girlfriend’s parents don’t know about your poorer-than-dirt past?”
“No, I’m just saying that it’s not acceptable dinner conversation and you never should have brought it up.” He turned back around and started the car. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever seen Lucah this angry, and I could understand him being upset, but this kind of anger was something else entirely.
“I didn’t bring it up! Mrs. Clarke did! Why are you freaking out about this?” Lucah just shook his head and his hands gripped the steering wheel so hard I was getting a little scared. Neither Sloane nor I said anything, afraid of making it worse.
“Just watch your mouth.”
Ryder didn’t answer and just stared out the window.
I waited for a few minutes of silence to pass before I gingerly touched Lucah’s arm.
“Are you okay?” I tried to keep my voice down, but of course everyone heard me.
“Fine,” he snapped, and I took my hand back.
“What the f**k? Now you’re mad at her? What did she do?” Ryder couldn’t keep his mouth shut anymore.
“Shhh,” Sloane said in a feeble attempt to calm the situation so it didn’t escalate any more than it already had.
Lucah didn’t answer Ryder and just kept his eyes on the road. I looked out the window, and everyone else did the same.
The ride back was silent and tense. I couldn’t wait to get out of the car. Lucah got up and let Ryder out, and I did the same with Sloane. Ryder stomped off and Sloane followed him, running a little to catch up.
Lucah pushed the driver’s seat back in place and sat back down, so I did the same. I wasn’t going anywhere until he told me what the hell was going on. His jaw was hard and his hands clenched the steering wheel again.
Lucah might have been pissed, but it only took a few moments for him to start thawing. His hands slipped down the steering wheel and his face relaxed. He took one deep breath and then closed his eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?” I said.
“I’m sorry for doing that in front of you. I’m sorry for lashing out at Ryder. I’m sorry for lashing out at you. And I’m sorry for the way you’re looking at me right now.” He leaned forward and rested his head on the steering wheel.