They’d both overreacted. He understood his own reactions, at least when it came to her. He still didn’t understand hers, and the mystery of Riley remained.
“Are you okay?” he asked from his place across the room.
Riley drew a deep breath and nodded, still attempting to calm down, to assure herself that what she’d seen in the mirror hadn’t been reality. She’d sworn she’d never be that woman, the one who needed a man so desperately she’d accept anything and everything he dished out.
She replayed the events of the last few minutes in her mind. He’d been cold and unforgiving, but she was the one who’d flipped out. He’d grabbed her, yes, but the minute she’d told him to take his hands off her, he had.
And he’d apologized.
Two things she’d never seen her father do.
Rationally she knew that people could argue and get past it, and that’s all they’d done. Had an argument.
She swallowed hard and slowly crossed the room to where Ian stood. “I don’t understand everything that just happened between us,” she said truthfully.
He met her gaze, equal confusion in the gray depths. “I’m not so sure I get all of it myself.” He gestured to the sofa, and she joined him, settling in with just a few inches of space between them.
They sat in silence for long minutes until Ian finally spoke. “I’ve been telling myself for years I want nothing to do with them.”
She knew he was referring to his father’s other children, and she nodded, wanting him to continue without interruption.
His chiseled features were hard as he spoke. “When my father offered your address and phone number in exchange for me reaching out to my half siblings, I grabbed the opportunity. I let him bribe me, and the why has been eating at me ever since.”
“Maybe you really wanted an excuse to get to know them?” she suggested, thinking that deep down, Alex and Ian wanted the same thing.
He exhaled a harsh breath. “Yeah. And that’s what’s been bothering me. I don’t want to want anything from them,” he said, running a hand through his short hair.
“Why do you hate them so much?” she asked hesitantly. “The resentment for your father I understand. But Alex and his siblings are as much victims of circumstance as you and your sisters were.”
“Because he chose them.” Each word came out sharp and punctuated with pain. “And before you say it, I’m fully aware these aren’t the thoughts of a rational adult.”
Unable not to respond, she inched closer, clasping his hand in hers. “No, but they are the feelings of a wounded child.”
He frowned at that. “I was an adult when we found out about them.”
“About eighteen, right?”
He nodded.
“If you ask me, eighteen is very much an in-between age. You were entitled to the resentment.”
He looked away, and she sensed him sorting through his thoughts.
“Graduations, birthdays, a broken arm, a burst appendix. We didn’t have a father for any of those events. We thought he was too busy working, and not that it made it okay to miss out on so much, but it made sense. And I looked up to him because he had this strong work ethic, so he could provide for his family. For us.”
She saw the child he’d been, idolizing his father, and her heart softened even more.
“It turns out,” he went on, “even if he’d been working, he was living with them while he did. Because he loved Savannah, while my mother was just the marriage his parents had forced on him to keep the business running.” He leaned his head back against the sofa, his emotions running high.
She sighed, wishing there were words that would help, knowing there were none. She understood so much more about his side of things now.
“It makes sense you’d resent them. But it also makes sense that a part of you wants to be included in their family, especially since your sisters are close with Sienna.”
He glanced at her, looking more the hurt young boy than the composed man she was used to seeing.
“Well, it doesn’t matter, does it? Because Alex wants nothing to do with me.”
“He’ll come around.” She hoped. Because the guilt was killing her.
But guilt and her best friend’s disapproval didn’t change her feelings for Ian, which were developing and growing stronger in a very short period of time. She was still shaken up by seeing shades of her parents in her interactions with Ian, but the facts weren’t the same as her memories. And this revealing conversation showed her that even if she had flashbacks, she needed to remember to view Ian differently than she did her own father.
“And if he doesn’t come around?” Ian asked, still on their conversation about Alex.
Riley knew what he was asking, and she didn’t want to choose. She couldn’t. “All I know is, right now, I want everything to do with you.”
She rose and straddled him, her knees on either side of his waist, her sex directly over his now-thickening erection.
His hips surged upward, and he let out a low groan. “I know what you’re doing.”
“Really? Enlighten me.”
He met her gaze, heat and desire simmering in the depths. “I spilled my guts, and now you’re distracting me so you don’t have to spill yours about what happened with you.”
He was right, not that she’d admit it. “Today wasn’t about me.” And she wasn’t in the mood to revisit her childhood out loud, when she’d just gotten him beyond his, at least for now.
“That’s a non-answer.” He braced his hands on her waist, seemingly more himself.
“I don’t want to dig into my past right now. Okay?”
His gaze sharpened. “What happened earlier had to do with your past?”
She hadn’t meant to reveal even that much. Seeking a distraction, she ground down on his hard length, moaning when the sensations rushed through her, delicious waves of yearning that precipitated the building of a fast orgasm.
His fingers pressed deeper into her flesh, and her flimsy, lace panties grew wetter. Heat spread from her core throughout every part of her being.
“I will get to know you,” he said, his words a definite warning.
Maybe so, but not right now. She slid her body away from his so there was enough space to give her room to ease her hand into the elastic waist of his pants and brush the head of his cock.
His erection jerked against her hand.
“Commando?” she asked, the very thought sending heat spiraling through her.