She’d expected this attempt to play bodyguard. “Your staying is not a good idea.” Much as she would have enjoyed it. She braced both her hands against his shoulders, but instead of pushing him away, she savored the heat and strength of his body against hers.
“Then why does it feel like one?” His hips jerked forward, thrusting his hard length against her feminine mound.
Waves of sensation rose to life. Her lashes fell and she savored the feeling. “It feels good because there’s nothing rational about sex. But I’m being rational now. You can’t stay because you came over here to say good-bye. You said as much earlier.” She recalled his words, the pain lodging in her throat.
“And then I kissed you and I realized there’s no way in hell I can walk away.”
“What?” Excitement and hope unlike any she’d known sizzled to life inside as she contemplated his words. “What are you saying?” she asked, because she had to be sure.
“There’s always been something between us. Something that won’t go away. If you’ve got the guts to take the risk and see where it leads, then so do I.” His blue eyes stared into hers.
Her pulse began an unsteady beat. He’d taken her by surprise. Apparently he’d shocked himself too. She understood the push and pull between them as well as he did.
But despite the fact that he’d taken her off guard, she’d already thought this possibility through. An affair with Roman wasn’t only what she wanted, but what she needed as well. Because by giving in to the desire that had been brewing for years, she’d give it a chance to run its course.
Without a doubt, Charlotte knew she’d be risking her heart. She’d walked away from him once before, and though she never admitted it, even to herself, she’d regretted it deep inside. She needed to experience making love with him. Needed the memories to cherish for a lifetime without him.
But she’d have closure. Unlike her mother, who subjected herself to an endless stretch of waiting ahead of her, Charlotte would be strong and come out whole.
“So can I stay?” he asked with that charming grin on his face.
“Because you think I need protection from a nonexistent threat or because you want to be with me?”
“Both reasons work for me.”
“I can take care of myself. Even Rick said I’m safe. As for the other . . . it’s too soon.” Charlotte wasn’t about to leap into bed with him no matter how hard her body protested against her decision.
She wanted time to assimilate his intentions. To know this time he wouldn’t change his mind again. But most of all, she wanted to get to know him better. All of him. She needed time to get inside both his head and his heart. Because when he walked away, as she knew he would, she had no intention of being hard to forget. Heaven knew, she wouldn’t forget him, even if she would be moving on.
Roman nodded, accepting her answer. He didn’t want to push, not when he’d made headway and broken past her wary barriers. She was laughing at his jokes, accepting his change of heart. It was enough for now.
After all his mixed messages, he didn’t expect her to open up and trust him overnight. “How about I sleep on the floor and play bodyguard?” he asked in a last-ditch effort to spend more time with her.
She shook her head and laughed. “Neither of us would get any sleep.”
“Sleep’s overrated. We could stay up talking.” At least he’d be by her side.
“We wouldn’t talk, and you know it.” Her cheeks flushed a healthy shade of pink. “But the neighbors would.”
Personally Roman didn’t give a damn what the neighbors said, but Charlotte did, and in a small town, business was tied to reputation. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, then he forced himself to accept what she was saying.
“You’ll call if you need me? If you even think you need me?”
She met his gaze. “Oh, I need you, Roman. I just won’t be calling for that kind of need.”
He exhaled hard. He needed her too. In a way that reached past sexual desire. Like she’d wrapped a hand around his heart. He just hoped like hell she planned to release him when it was time to move on.
Roman rose to a blanket of sunshine covering his childhood room and bathing his body in heat. He’d left Charlotte’s apartment, but she’d remained with him all night long, in dreams that were hot and compelling, yet strangely unfulfilled.
He shut his eyes and leaned back into his pillows, conjuring everything he’d learned last night. While she and his brothers had discussed the latest break-ins, Roman had used his talents for listening to one thing while taking in something else—and he’d discovered the glossy oversized books and magazines laid out on the table in front of him. The covers detailed distant places and glamorous locales. Some were domestic, others foreign, like castles in Scotland, or exotic, like the South Pacific. Nothing unusual for conversation pieces, Roman thought.
Many people bought similar oversized books for decorative appeal. But few people read them until they were well worn and even fewer left those dog-eared copies out for show. Charlotte had.
So as he’d glanced around, he’d been able to put a picture together in his mind, one of contradictions and enticements. Charlotte was feminine and sexy. Predictably, she liked flowers. Yet she was hesitant, uncertain of her appeal, and any bold moves didn’t come easily—which made her choice of business rather unpredictable, he thought. As were the undergarments she handmade. They exposed more than they hid—baring not just the skin beneath the crocheted panties, but Charlotte and her inner self.
The books revealed much more. Although she liked hearth and home in Yorkshire Falls, there was a part of her that was intrigued by foreign locales and exotic places. The notion brought a rush of adrenaline through his veins. She was more perfect for him than she was ready to admit.
Charlotte, he thought. She enthralled him in a way no story, no woman, ever had. He needed to win her over, to convince her that they were so intricately entwined, they had no choice but to make a life together work. Only then could he fulfill his obligation to his family and satisfy his mother’s desire for a grandchild. Only then could he return to life on the road, go where the stories took him, and continue to bring public awareness to important issues. And maybe one day, she’d want to travel with him.
“Oh, my God. Roman, wake up.” His mother’s voice traveled toward him.
There was something to be said for living alone, and when his mother barged into his room without knocking, he remembered what it was. Privacy.