“Something like that. Interesting, yes?”
“Mmm,” Gansey said. It was historical. That was Ganseylike, he supposed. He was vaguely disappointed, which must have meant that he had hoped for something more, even if he didn’t know what that something more would have been.
“No, the Ganseylike part is inside,” Henry said. To his surprise, Henry slid into the pit, landing at the bottom with a dull thud. “Check it out.”
“I assume you have a plan for getting back out if I do.”
“There’s handholds.” When Gansey did not move, Henry explained, “Also, this is a test.”
“Of what?”
“Merit. No. Ma— No. There’s an m word for bravery, but I can’t recall it. My frontal lobe is still drunk from last night.”
“Mettle.”
“Yes, yes, that’s it. This is a test of mettle. That’s the Ganseylike part.”
Gansey knew that Henry was right by the zing of feeling in his heart. It was very similar to the sensation he’d felt at the toga party. That feeling of being known. Not in a superficial way, but in something deeper and truer. He asked, “What is my prize if I pass?”
“What is ever any prize of a test of mettle? The prize is your honour, Mr Gansey.”
Doubly known. Triply known.
Gansey wasn’t precisely sure how to cope with being so accurately pegged by a person who was, after all, only a recent acquaintance.
So there was nothing left but to lower himself into the hole.
It was almost completely dark, and the walls intruded. He was close enough to Henry to both smell the bite of Henry’s hair product and hear his slightly accelerated breathing.
“History, that complicated bitch,” Henry said. “Are you claustrophobic?”
“No, I have other vices.” If this had been Cabeswater, it would have been rapidly working with Gansey’s fear to produce stinging insects. Gansey was grateful that intention was not such a powerful thing outside of Cabeswater. This hole in the ground could remain simply a hole in the ground. In this world, he only had to worry about schooling his exterior, not his interior. “Can you imagine having to hide in one of these? Did I pass the test?”
Henry scratched at the wall or something similar; it made a dead, hissing sound as dirt crumbled to the floor. “Have you ever been kidnapped, Richard Gansey?”
“No. Am I being kidnapped now?”
“Not on a school night. I was kidnapped once,” Henry said. His tone was so light and ordinary that Gansey wasn’t certain if he was making a joke or not. “For ransom. My parents were not in the same country, and so communication was not good. They put me in a hole like this. It was perhaps a bit smaller.”
He was not joking.
“Jesus,” said Gansey. He could not see Henry’s face in the darkness to know how he felt about the story he was telling; his voice was still light.
“Jesus was not there, unfortunately,” Henry said. “Or perhaps fortunately. The hole was barely big enough for me.”
Gansey could hear Henry rubbing his fingers against each other, or making and unmaking fists; every sound was amplified in this dusty chamber. And now he could smell that peculiar scent that came with fear: the body producing chemicals that reeked of anxiety. He could not tell, however, if it was his or Henry’s. Because Gansey’s mind knew that this hole would not produce a sudden swarm of bees to kill him. But Gansey’s heart remembered hanging in the cave in Cabeswater and hearing the swarms develop beneath him.
“This is Ganseylike too, yes?” Henry asked.
“Which part?”
“Secrets.”
“True enough,” Gansey admitted, because admitting you had secrets was not the same as telling them. “What happened?”
“What happened, he asks. My mother knew that to pay the ransom right away was only to encourage others to kidnap her children while she was not watching, and so she haggled with my captors. They did not like this, as you can imagine, and they had me tell her on the phone what they intended to do to me every day she did not pay.”
“They had you tell her?”
“Yes, yes. You see, that is part of the haggling. If the parent knows that the child is afraid, it will make them pay faster, and more, that is the wisdom.”
“I had no idea.”
“Who does? Now you do.” The walls felt closer. Henry went on, with a little laugh – a laugh. “She said, ‘I do not pay for damaged goods.’ And they said that was all she would get, so on and so forth. But my mother is very good at bargains. And so after five days, I was returned to her, with all of my fingers and both of my eyes still. For a good price, they say. I was a little hoarse, but that was my own fault.”
Gansey didn’t know how he felt about this. He had been given this secret, but he didn’t know why. He didn’t know what Henry wanted from him. He had many assembled reactions prepared to deploy – sympathy, advice, concern, support, indignation, sorrow – but he didn’t know which combination was called for. He was used to knowing. He didn’t think Henry needed anything from him. This was a landscape with no map.
Finally, he said, “And now we’re standing in a hole just like that, and you sound quite calm.”
“Yes. That’s the point. I have spent … I have spent many years in the pursuit of being able to do this,” Henry said. He took a short, thin breath, and Gansey was certain that his face was telling a far different story than his still airy voice. “Instead of hiding, facing the thing I was afraid of.”