Those were his. Fanciful, purposeless, but lovely.
Ronan Lynch loved to dream about light.
There had been a time when the Barns was Ronan’s entire ecosystem. The Lynches rarely left it when he was young, because they didn’t need to, because it was a lot of work, because Niall Lynch didn’t trust many people to take care of it in their absence.
It was better to meet friends at their houses, their mother, Aurora, explained, because Dad had a lot of breakable things around the farm.
One of the breakable things: Aurora Lynch. Golden-haired Aurora was the obvious queen of a place like the Barns, a gentle and joyous ruler of a peaceful and secret country. She was a patron of her sons’ fanciful arts (although Declan, the eldest, was rarely fanciful), and she was a tireless playmate in her sons’ games of make-believe (although Declan, the eldest, was rarely playful). She loved Niall, of course – everyone loved larger-than-life Niall, the braggart poet, the musician king – but unlike everyone else, she preferred him in his silent moods. She loved the truth, and it was difficult to love both the truth and Niall Lynch when the latter was speaking.
She was the only person who he could not dazzle, and he loved her for it.
It was not until many years later that Ronan learned that the king had dreamt up his queen. But in retrospect, it made sense. His father loved to dream of light, too.
Inside the farmhouse, Ronan switched on a few lamps to push the darkness outside. A few minutes’ search turned up a bucket of alphabet blocks, which he overturned for Chainsaw to sort through. Then he put on one of his father’s Bothy Band records, and as the fiddle and pipes crackled and fuzzed through the narrow hallways, he wiped dust off the shelves and repaired a broken cabinet hinge in the kitchen. As the morning sun finally spilled golden into the protected glen, he continued the process of restaining the worn wood staircase up to his parents’ old room.
He breathed in. He breathed out.
He forgot how to exhale when he wasn’t at home.
Time kept its own clock here. A day at Aglionby was a smash-cut slideshow of images that didn’t matter and conversations that didn’t stick. But the same day, spent at the Barns, proceeded with lazy aplomb, full of four times as many things. Reading in the window seat, old movies in the living room, lazy repairing of a slamming barn door. Hours took as long as they needed.
Slowly his memories of before – everything this place had been to him when it had held the entire Lynch family – were being overlapped with memories and hopes of after – every minute that the Barns had been his, all of the time he’d spent here alone or with Adam, dreaming and scheming.
Home, home, home.
It was time to sleep. To dream. Ronan had a specific object he was trying to create, and he wasn’t stupid enough to think he’d be able to get it on the first try.
Rules for dreams, intoned Jonah Milo.
Ronan was in English class. Milo, the English teacher, stood before a glowing Smart Board, dressed in plaid. His fingers were a metronome on the board, clicking with his words: Rules for dreamers. Rules for the dreamt.
Cabeswater? Ronan asked the classroom. Hatred glazed his thoughts. He would never forget the smell of this place: rubber and industrial cleaner, mildew and cafeteria teriyaki.
Mr Lynch, do you have something you want to share?
Sure: I’m not staying in this goddamn class a second longer —
No one’s keeping you here, Mr Lynch. Aglionby is a choice. Milo looked disappointed. Let’s focus. Rules for dreams. Read it out loud, Mr Lynch.
Ronan didn’t. They couldn’t make him.
Dreams are easily broken, Milo sang. His words were a laundry detergent advertising jingle. It’s difficult to maintain the necessary balance between subconscious and conscious. There’s a chart on page four of your text.
Page three was black. Page four was gone. There was no chart.
Rules for the dreamt. Mr Lynch, maybe sit up a bit, tuck in that shirt, and show me some Aglionby focus? A psychopomp could help you keep your waking thoughts. Everyone check to see if their dream buddy is here.
Ronan’s dream buddy was not there.
Adam was, though, in the very back row of chairs. Attentive. Engaged. This Aglionby Student Represents America’s Legacy. His textbook was visible in the thought bubble above his head, dense with writing and diagrams.
Milo’s beard was longer than it had been at the beginning of class. Rules for dreamers. Really this is about arrogance, isn’t it? Mr Lynch, do you want to talk about how God is dead?
This is bullshit, Ronan said.
If you know better, you can come up and teach this class yourself. I’m just trying to understand why you think you’re not going to end up dead like your father. Mr Parrish, rules for the dreamer?
Adam replied with textbook precision. Heaney states clearly on page twenty that dreamers are to be classified as weapons. We see in peer studies how this is borne out in reality. Example A: Ronan’s father is dead. Example B: K is dead. Example C: Gansey is dead. Example D: I am also dead. Example E: God is dead, as you mentioned. I would add Matthew and Aurora Lynch to the list, but they are not human as per Glasser’s 2012 study. I have diagrams here.
Fuck you, Ronan said.
Adam looked withering. He was no longer Adam, but Declan. Do your homework, Ronan, for once in your goddamn life. Don’t you even know what you are?
Ronan woke angry and empty-handed. He abandoned the couch to slam some cabinets around in the kitchen. The milk in the fridge had gone bad, and Matthew had eaten all of the hot dogs the last time he’d come along. Ronan raged into the thin morning light in the screen porch and tore a strange fruit off a potted tree that grew packs of chocolate-covered peanuts. As he paced fitfully, Chainsaw skittered and flapped behind him, stabbing at dark spots that she hoped were dropped peanuts.