“Kiersten,” he uttered, her name sounding like a prayer on his lips, sweat breaking out on his forehead. She moaned and the vibrations almost sent him over the edge. Enough. He’d had enough for now. He tugged her hair gently, pulling free of her heavenly mouth. “Condom. Now.”
She pouted, but did as he asked. By the time she had it in place, he was even closer to the edge. He flipped her over onto her stomach and ran his hand over her sweet ass, then leaned over her. He bit down on her shoulder and then slammed inside her. No teasing or slow motions.
They were past that. He was past that.
For a second he worried he might have hurt her, because she cried out. But she reached behind them and dug her nails into his backside. “More.”
And then? He lost it. He closed his hands over her br**sts, squeezing them and f**king her until he forgot his own name. By the time she convulsed around him, he was seconds from the edge himself. But something held him back. He needed to see her when he came. Watch her.
Picking her up, he flipped her over onto her back and slid back inside of her. Bracing his hands on either side of her head, he moved inside of her slowly. She moaned and wrapped her legs around his hips. He thought he might die of pleasure right then and there.
“Look at me,” he whispered, his voice soft.
She did. And what he saw there was more than passion and need. He swore he saw something more. Something that just might make all of the dreams he had refused to admit existed until now come true. A future with her. Maybe even…love.
Who had he been kidding? He wasn’t over her.
She clasped her hands behind his neck and bit her lower lip. “Kiss me,” she said in reply. “Please.”
He lowered his lips to hers and moved inside of her, slowly picking up speed. He could feel his balls tighten. Warning of his impending orgasm. He reached between their bodies, never taking his lips off of hers, and rubbed her clit. She groaned and clung to him. He waited until her pu**y clenched his cock, squeezing him so hard he knew no one else could ever please him like her, before he let himself soar over the edge.
And he knew it in that second, before the world exploded. No one ever would make him feel this way but her. No one else ever had.
They came at the same time, and he finally stopped kissing her and buried his face in her neck. When he came back down to earth, she was playing with his hair. It felt good. He could lie like this forever, buried deep inside her.
“Forget about crushes. I think I could f**king love you after that,” he murmured.
“Oh God, don’t say that,” she said, her voice breathy. “I know you’re teasing, but that’s the last thing I need.”
And just like that, his happy buzz dissolved away. Sure, he had been mostly kidding, but her utter disgust at the mere notion of him falling for her hurt like a bitch. He stiffened. “Wow. The last thing, huh?” He didn’t look at her. Didn’t move. “Even worse than the plague or nuclear warfare?”
Her entire body went hard and unyielding. “Yeah, maybe.” She stopped playing with his hair, her hands dropping to the mattress at her side. “So what if it is? It’s not like you feel any differently than I do, do you? We’re on the same page.”
No. They really weren’t. But it was too late to take back what had just happened between them.
“Right.”
He pushed off of her, and gave her his back, using the excuse of taking the condom off and disposing of it to avoid looking at her. But he couldn’t avoid her forever. And no matter what she said, it wasn’t okay. He’d made a fool of himself. Told her he could maybe love her, and now what? Would she laugh at him? Pretend it never happened? Pretend they never happened?
He couldn’t do that. Wouldn’t.
He wanted this to be a start. Not an end. And she’d acted like he was some sort of disease she didn’t want to catch.
He turned back to her and studied her face. It gave away nothing of her thoughts. She swallowed hard and sat up, tugging the blanket to her neck. “Are we okay?”
“Yeah. We’re great.” His tone betrayed his words.
She flinched. “That’s not what this was about. It’s just a night. I’m not going to start picking out a wedding date or anything.”
He stepped into his jeans, his movements jerky and rough. “And what if I meant what I said? What will we do then?”
She ran her hand through her hair, and a feeling of dread dropped into his stomach. She looked like she was about to bolt. “I’m not ready for that. You know how hard it was for me when Pete left. And Chris…” she swallowed hard, her eyes closed. “He can’t go through another man leaving us. I won’t do that to him.”
“I wouldn’t leave you like he did. Or Chris.” He rubbed his eyes. “There’s really only one question at play here. Do you think you would want to try for something more than a night? Two nights? Three nights? A year?”
She paled. “I can’t. Not after Pete. And what would Chris say? I can’t put him through this again.”
“There are so many reasons we shouldn’t. Chris. Pete. Mike.” He threw his hands up. “Hell, I’m Chris’s coach and teacher. That’s a huge issue in and of itself. But if you want this,” he motioned between them with his hands, “then we can overcome it all.”
“I’m sorry.” She licked her lips, and her eyes begged him to understand. “But I can’t.”
“All right, then.” He nodded and grabbed his shirt. He tried to look as if his heart hadn’t just been stomped on. It had taken a lot to put himself on the line like that and it hadn’t paid off. But he wouldn’t show her how hard it had hit him. “Make sure no one ever finds out about this, then. I can’t afford to lose my star player because we spent one meaningless night together.”
She shook her head slightly. “No one will know. It’ll be like it never happened. We can go back to being—”
He gave a harsh laugh. He couldn’t help it. “You underestimate your talents. I won’t forget this night until I’m dead and buried six feet under. Maybe not even then.”
“You know what I meant.” She flushed. “Can we just go back to the way things were?”
“Honestly? I don’t think I can.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “I’ve been lying to myself for a long time about what I want from you and I’m not doing it anymore. And after what happened tonight… I can’t just turn it off. I’ve been trying for too long. Why did you do this tonight? Why me?”