"I don't know how many times we did it that first night. I mean, we had to take a towel to the mats afterward. When we were both wrung out, Tom looked at me real intense and said, 'I'm going to be here again tomorrow night. You can meet me or not. It's up to you."
"He never forced me, Bryan. Never made what was happening between us about my spot on the team. He just said, 'You can do this or not.' "
"And you wanted to do it?"
"At the time, it seemed the perfect solution. If anyone would keep what we did a secret, it was him. I could have a consenting partner to take the edge off what not quite having Zoe was doing to me, and Zoe wouldn't be hurt. I knew it was cheating. I just thought it was the lesser of two evils."
Bryan wriggled upward until his face was on the pillow opposite Alex's. Their knees bumped together, and a thrill Alex didn't know how to quash slid up his thighs. His guilt didn't have much influence over his libido. He was so hard from telling this story he was aching.
"Somebody caught you."
"Somebody was bound do. We went at it like freaking bunnies once we broke the ice. We even did it a couple times in Tom's office, during school hours. I guess he thought he was going to get wanting men out of his system, and then be able to get married, but it didn't work that way. The more he had, the more he wanted and, Jesus, it felt good to have someone as crazed for sex as I was. I was finally getting all I needed. I was finally feeling relaxed.
"But you can't be that intimate with someone—even if you're only screwing—and not give off signals people can read. There was one kid on the team, kind of a borderline player who spent a lot of time on the bench. He was always half a minute late to practice, as if he wanted to be reprimanded so he could gripe about how unfair the coaches were. I had him pegged as a potential outee, but I think he was too jealous of my status to come to me. He spotted what was going on between me and the coach and decided he was going to get back at us both.
"He did a good job of it, too. One night he surprised us in the weight room, with a camera, no less. Then he got his outraged parents to bring a complaint to the school board that Coach Vickers had molested him."
"And you knew your coach couldn't have done it?"
"Oh, yeah. The kid gave times and places that the supposed incidents had occurred, and each time I knew Tom had been with me. This kid was lying through his teeth to get even. I don't know if he liked presenting me as Tom's victim, too, but I guess he figured I wouldn't admit I'd been willing. I was king of the school, in his mind. Why would I give that up?
"I'm ashamed to say that for a while he was right. I was terrified of what would happen to my life. My family was going to know. And Zoe. I didn't think I could face it. But people started talking about Coach Vickers deserving to go to jail or worse. I could see the lynch mob forming. His own players, guys he'd been really good to, wanted to beat the crap out of him. And Tom was protecting me. He wasn't saying what had really happened. He wasn't using me as his alibi. I knew I had to come forward."
Alex's eyes filled with tears at the memory. "My mother got me through it. I'd never known how strong she was until I told her the truth. She wouldn't let my brothers say a word. Not to mock me. Not to be pissed. She just said, 'We're a family, and we're going to help your little brother do what's right.' I think my dad was kind of stunned by how fierce she was."
"You were lucky to have her."
"Yes, I was."
Bryan was quiet for a moment. When he spoke, his thumb swept back and forth across Alex's hand. "I think I have to agree with Zoe. I don't understand why the town hated you. Yeah, they might have been freaked that their golden boy liked guys, but you did the right thing. The rest wasn't their business."
"Small towns think everything is their business, and they needed someone to blame. It didn't seem enough that Tom's career was ruined. People started to remember how lucky I was with women, how nobody seemed to be able to turn me down. I'd insisted the relationship had been consensual, and they got it into their heads that I was the aggressor, that I'd seduced a formerly heterosexual male and had infected him with my perversity. I went from golden boy to scapegoat within a week. My teammates were so angry about what they saw as my betrayal that I had to quit. And maybe they were right. Maybe Tom would have married and lived happily ever after if it weren't for me."
"Alex." Bryan's scold held a hint of laughter. "I know you're hot, but come on. Even if your coach never came out of the closet, he wouldn't have lived happily ever after. He'd simply have lived a lie that was more comfortable for everyone but him."
"Zoe never lied. I kept remembering that through the worst of it. Zoe always was who she was, ghosts and fairies and all, no matter how uncomfortable that got."
"Alex, there are people in this world who are born with parts of their truth very clear to them. Trust me, though, everybody—even Zoe—struggles with something."
Alex couldn't speak. He could only hug Bryan tight to his chest. There was no softness to Bryan's muscles, no comforting give, but his hardness was exactly what Alex needed.
"Shh," said Bryan, rubbing his back.
"I don't want to hurt you," Alex choked out. "I don't deserve you any more than I did her."
Bryan kissed his ear and laughed. "Why don't you let me worry about that?"
Emotion swelled inside him in a great hot flood. He couldn't keep from turning his head, couldn't keep from claiming Bryan's mouth and kissing him deeply. Bryan's hold on him shifted to his butt, their groins sliding together as their legs found a tangled fit. Alex moaned at what the contact revealed.
Bryan was full and ready behind his jeans.
"Oh, thank God." Bryan broke free of the kiss with a breathless laugh. "I don't know if I should admit it, but that story made me really hot."
Not the least offended, Alex was already shoving Bryan's metal waist button through its hole. "Tell me what you want," he said, his c**k practically screaming at him to hurry up. "Tell me how you want me to get you off."
Bryan gasped as his hand dug deeper and found skin. "Take me in the shower. I want to pretend you're coaching me."
Lust blazed through Alex in a searing wave, paralyzing him for a second before it jolted him into quick motion.
"I hope you mean that," he said, rolling off the bed to help Bryan up. " 'Cause right this second, I could 'coach' you straight through the tile."
Chapter Nine
The guest room was on the opposite end of the house from Zoe's bedroom, both the living room and kitchen lying between. There should have been privacy aplenty, but with the windows open and the night so clear, Zoe couldn't help but hear the escalating masculine groans.