“I could never hate you, Katie.” I rubbed the back of her head. “I shouldn’t have ended things the way that I did.”
“I’ve always regretted it, you know.” Her eyes glazed over. “I wished I had kept him. He would have been a piece of you that I would have always had. He’s still in my heart.”
“I know.”
“I love him,” she cried. “I hate you, Brandon. I hate you for doing this to me.”
“I’m sorry, Katie. I made a mistake.” I sighed. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes. And I’m sorry about tonight. You have to believe that. You have to believe me. Please. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I can’t live without you.”
“I don’t know what to say.” She shook her head as if to clear it.
“You don’t have to say anything. I’m not going to force you to give me another chance. I’m not going to predicate anything on our getting back together.” I took a deep breath. I couldn’t lose her again.
“I don’t know what you want, Brandon.”
“I don’t want anything. Do you want to meet Harry?”
“Harry?” She gave me a weird look.
“He’s your son, Katie.” I stared down at her and smiled. “Harry’s our son.” Katie’s eyes gazed at me in confusion, before she finally understood what I was saying. I held on tightly to her as she collapsed into my arms in shock.
Chapter 5
Katie
Sleep eluded me as I lay in bed. I stared at the clock on the nightstand and sighed. It was four a.m. I still had four hours before Brandon was going to pick me up and take me to meet Harry.
"Harry," I said slowly in the dark. "Harry," I said again and smiled. I was going to meet my son. My son.
It didn't even seem real. I was scared and I was excited, both at he same time. He was a little over six years old now. My heart broke as I thought about the six years of his life I had lost. Six years I would never get back. Six years Brandon had devoted to him. Our son.
I didn't know how to think about Brandon anymore. I still loved him; I knew I probably would always love him. But I wasn't sure I could deal with his style of crazy. He was too hard for me to figure out and his actions were too extreme. I cringed as I thought about the incident in the bar. I could still remember the hot burn on my face as I had made eye contact with the bartender. He had looked disgusted and shocked, so different than the teasing sweetness of the previous two days.
What Brandon had done was unacceptable. But his revelation after the incident had taken my breath away. I couldn't believe that he had known all this time that we'd had a baby. That he was now raising our baby. My hand flew to my mouth as I cried out. He wasn't a baby anymore. I didn't have a baby. He was a young boy. I'd missed the first years of his life. I felt tears forming in my eyes as I thought about everything I'd lost.
Beep beep.
My phone went off and I grabbed it quickly.
"Hey." It was Brandon.
I texted back quickly. "Hey."
"What are you doing?"
"Sleeping."
"Want to talk?"
"No."
"I can't sleep."
"That sucks for you."
"I'm thinking about what an ass I am.”
"Good for you."
“My fingers are getting tired typing. Can I call you?"
I lay there staring at the phone. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn't.
"Did I lose you? :(" he texted back again and I smiled.
"No, I'm still sleep-texting."
"I knew you were smart :)"
"I did go to Columbia, you know!"
"I know. A little birdie told me."
"Haha."
"What are you wearing?"
"Nothing."
"What? I want a photo."
"I meant none of your business."
"Not fair."
"What are you wearing?" I shook my head as I typed.
"Boxers."
"Oh."
"I can send you a pic if you want! :) :)"
"I don't want."
":("
I snuggled into the sheets and smiled as I waited for his next text. I held the phone in my hands eagerly and felt my smile fade as I realized that he might not text me back again.
Beep beep.
"Miss me yet?"
"No." I smiled to myself again.
"You have to admit that it was slightly hot."
"It was not hot." I glared at the phone.
"I made you come."
"You always make me come!"
"Score 1 for me. :)"
"Idiot."
"I love you."
"I'm going back to sleep now. Bye." I put the phone down and closed my eyes. My heart was beating fast as I thought about his words. I picked the phone back up and stared at the screen. I didn't know what to think or feel. Did he really love me?
Then the phone rang and I bit my lower lip. I didn't know whether or no I should answer.
"I thought you weren't going to answer." His voice was soft as he spoke into the phone.
“I guess you thought wrong,” I whispered into the phone and closed my eyes.
“You sound sexy when you’re sleeping.”
“Really?” I giggled and faked a snore.
“That’s even sexier.”
“You’re not allowed to call me sexy.”
“Is it too soon?”
“Huh?”
“I guess I’m still in trouble. I’ll save the sexy talk for next week.”
“You’ll still be in trouble next week, Brandon.” I shook my head. “I’m still mad at you.”
“You can’t stay mad at me.”
“You think?”
“I hope.” His voice was warm and husky. “I wish I were with you right now.”
“So you can make love to me again?”
“No. So I can hold you in my arms and kiss you.”
“Uh huh.”
“And smell you.”
“Smell me?” I frowned and lifted my arm up to see if my armpit smelled.
“You always smell like gardenias.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“Really?” I sniffed again and all I could smell was a faint sniff of the popcorn I’d made when I got home.
“Yeah. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m home.”
“Oh.” My heart melted at his words. “I’m still mad at you.”
“I’m excited for you to meet, Harry.” His tone changed. “I think you’ll like him.”