“What if you’re the bad mistake?” I flirted with him and he paused as he stared at me. He shook his head and poured some more vodka into a new glass.
“Here.” He handed me the glass and his fingers grabbed mine. “But this is the last one. If we go home together, I want to know it’s because you wanted to be with me and not because you’re drunk.”
“You’re pretty full of yourself.” I raised an eyebrow at him, leaned forward, and slowly licked my lips. “If I want another drink, I expect another drink.”
“And if you want to f**k me tonight, you need to slow down,” he whispered against my lips lightly and his tongue licked my lower lip slowly. I sat back and looked at him in a daze.
“You kissed me.” I stared at him in shock, rubbing my fingers against my lips.
“That wasn’t a kiss.” He winked at me.
“Your lips touched mine.”
“Come here.” He leaned toward me and I stared up into his bright green eyes in wonder. He bent down and grabbed the back of my head, and his lips pressed against mine firmly as he kissed me properly this time. I felt his tongue trying to work its way into my mouth, but even though I enjoyed the kiss, I wasn’t ready to make it more intimate. I pulled away from him, dazed. “Now that was a kiss.” He grinned and walked to the other side of the bar to help another customer.
Beep beep.
My phone vibrated and buzzed again. I grabbed it from my pocket and checked my messages. It was Brandon again.
“Katie, you need to call me now.”
“Whatever,” I mumbled under my breath. “So you can f**k me and leave again?” I was about to put my phone back in my pocket but decided to text back instead. “Fuck off.” I pressed send.
Within seconds he had replied. “I can’t without you.” I stared at the words, confused.
“That makes no sense,” I texted back quickly, wanting to stop responding, but not knowing how.
He texted back immediately again, and for a second, my heart soared that he was thinking of me. “Call me, Katie. I want to hear your voice.” I stared at his words and wanted to throw the phone to the ground and stomp on it, and then I wanted to stomp on myself. Why was I so happy at his words? Why did I feel like I was flying just because he had texted me a bunch of crap? I wanted to delete his messages and him from my life. I rubbed my lips again, thinking about what the bartender had said. Maybe I did need to have sex with someone else. Maybe that would be the easiest way to get over Brandon. I didn’t want him to have this hold over me anymore.
Beep beep.
The phone vibrated again and I stared at the latest message. “Are you there? Call me, now.” I stared at the phone, feeling tired. My brain was overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks. And then the phone started ringing. I answered it without thinking.
“Hello?”
“I told you to call me.” Brandon’s voice was angry.
“So?”
“I want to see you.”
“I don’t want to see you.” I glared into the phone. “What’s the problem?” I hissed.
“What?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled. I didn’t want him to know that I knew that he knew Matt. Not yet. Not until I decided what I was going to do.
“I miss you, Katie.”
“Where’s Maria?”
“Does it matter?”
“What do you think?” My voice rose. “You’re an ass**le.”
“I don’t love Maria.” His words were firm.
“Piss off!” I shouted into the phone, though my heart leaped with joy at his words. My brain screamed at me to stop feeling excited.
“I want to hold you,” he drawled. “I’ve missed hearing your voice.”
“I’ve got to go,” I mumbled, not really wanting to hang up.
“Don’t go. Not yet.” His voice was urgent. “Where are you? Let me come and take you home.”
“How do you know I’m not home?”
“Where are you, Katie?” His voice was harsh.
“What do you care?” I went to have another gulp of vodka, but it was all gone. “Hey, bartender, come here,” I called out. He walked over to me slowly with a wicked grin on his face.
“How can I help you, beautiful? Want another kiss?” He laughed and I shook my head.
“Another vodka, please. We can talk about the kiss later.” I giggled at him, wanting Brandon to hear the conversation.
“Where the f**k are you, Katie?” Brandon’s voice was angrier than I had ever heard before.
“Sorry, I have to go now. Tell Maria I said hello.” And then I hung up and turned the phone off so that I wouldn’t have to hear it beeping or ringing anymore.
“Who was that?” The bartender handed me a new glass, and I sipped eagerly.
“This tastes like water,” I groaned, annoyed and ignoring his question.
“That’s because it is.” He stared at me. “I don’t get involved with girls who have issues or relationship problems, but I’m going to make an exception for you. The only thing is, I don’t want you to be passed out when we hook up.”
“That’s assuming a lot.”
“You want to get over your ex, right?” He shrugged. “Trust me, when I’m done with you, you won’t even remember his name.”
I sat back, sipped the water, and tried to stop the rush of tears that came to my eyes. I couldn’t look at the bartender. It didn’t matter how hot he was. I couldn’t sleep with him, not when all I wanted was Brandon. The bartender stood in front of me, licking his lips sensually, and I jumped off of the barstool and ran out of the bar, not even remembering to pay. I ran down the street, crying and thinking about what the bartender had said so casually. He’d said that by the time he was finished with me, I wouldn’t even remember Brandon’s name, and my heart broke. I didn’t even want to think of a possibility where I couldn’t remember Brandon. I loved him with all my heart. And even though my heart was breaking, I didn’t want to move on with some casual sex. Not yet. Not now. Not when every part of me was crying out to be with the man I loved. The man I had spent the last seven years thinking about. I loved him as much as I hated him, and I wanted to make him pay. But I needed to do it on my terms. And I needed to plan it out. That was the only way I could be sure that I could finally move on.