“I hope Matt doesn’t cry when you dump him.” Meg made a face to lighten the mood.
“That would be bad.” I laughed. “But I think he’ll be fine.”
“And you’re handing in your resignation tomorrow as well?”
“Yeah.” I nodded my head assertively. “I need to move on, but I also need to be professional about it. I can’t just sit in my room and pretend that life isn’t still going on, just because I’m depressed.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“I couldn’t do this without you.” I squeezed her hands gratefully. “I’m so upset that we have to rely on your savings.
“Don’t even think about it.” She shook her head. “That’s what best friends are for. I’ll make more money. I’ll be able to go on a trip another time.”
“I love you, Meg.”
“I love you too, Katie.” She gave me a quick hug. “Now go break up with Matt gently while I go and try to get a job.”
“Good luck.” I grinned at her. “You’ll be a shoo-in for the bartender job.”
“Let’s hope so.” She groaned. “At this point, we just need money.”
“You got this.”
“Thanks, luv, see you later.”
“Bye.” I watched her hurrying down the street and said a quick prayer for her. She was hoping to get this part-time bartender job that had been advertised in the laundromat. The pay was great, and no experience was needed. If she got it, it would definitely help us as we both looked for new jobs. I took a deep breath and ran down to catch the train. This was it. My old life was about to end, and my new one was ready to begin.
***
I didn’t have the heart to break up with Matt over dinner. It just seemed too cruel to congratulate him on his promotion and then dump him in the next breath. I decided to do it in his apartment, and then I’d come clean about everything. I wanted him to know what I had done and why, so he could understand that he had done nothing wrong. The reason I was ending things wasn’t because I no longer liked him. It was because I was still in love with someone else.
We walked into his apartment and I watched as Matt hurried into the kitchen to get a bottle of wine. He seemed like he was excited, and I had a bad feeling that he thought that tonight was going to be the night that we consummated our relationship.
He brought back two glasses of red wine and I took mine eagerly. I was going to need liquid courage to get me through the night.
“What movie do you want to watch?” He shifted closer to me on the couch and I tried not to recoil.
“Actually, I was hoping we could talk.” I took a deep breath and he frowned at me.
“Sure, but what do you want to talk about?”
“It’s over, Matt. I can’t go out with you anymore,” I blurted out, and I was surprised that his face remained the same. Even the expression in his eyes didn’t look shocked or upset.
“I see.” He nodded and sipped some more wine. “Why is that?”
I took a deep breath and let it out. “About seven years ago, I dated a guy. A successful businessman. I loved him, but things went wrong. I waited for him to come back to me and he never did. I tried to forget him, but I couldn’t.” I chewed on my lower lip as I continued on with my story. “About a year ago, I decided that I was going to try to see him again. Maybe get close to him, see if any of the old feelings were there. I wanted to see if we could give the relationship another go.”
“Okay.”
“I didn’t want it to be a one-off encounter.” I sighed. “I wanted us to be around each other. I wanted to see if perhaps we could make it work. So I started trying researching him. I found a lot of articles about him. Business stuff, you know. And I realized that the best way for me to get back into his life would be if I went to work for him. But I knew that he liked to flip companies. I knew I had to get in with a company before he did, so it wouldn’t look suspicious. So I needed to get a contact, someone who knew a lot about business.”
“And that’s where I came in?” Matt raised an eyebrow and I nodded.
“Most of the articles I read about him were written by you. You seemed to have information that others didn’t.” I bit my lip. “So I orchestrated a meeting in the lobby of your office building.”
“The classic woman-bumps-into-man-and-spills-coffee-on-him routine.” He spoke slowly as he remembered our first encounter.
“I didn’t mean to use you.” I sighed. “I wanted to be friends, but you were so nice and it just kind of became a dating thing.”
“So you used me for information?”
“I looked through your files on your computer.” I nodded. “I saw a list of companies that you said this businessman was thinking of purchasing.” I looked down at my lap embarrassed and not wanting to say Brandon’s name. “And I applied to all of them for jobs.”
“So my information was right?” Matt asked eagerly, and I wanted to laugh.
“Yeah. I got jobs at three of the companies. I chose my position based on an article you were writing. I knew then which company he was buying, so I accepted the job. And I started working there a month before it was even announced that he was buying the corporation. It worked out perfectly. Even my best friend didn’t know that I had taken the job there because I wanted to see him again.” I closed my eyes as guilt wracked my body. “But it didn’t work out. It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done what I did. And I’m sorry. I’m really sorry if I’ve hurt you.”
“I can’t say that it feels great.” His eyes were blank. “I never expected this.”
“I’m leaving my job as well.” I hurried out, so that he knew that it had all blown up in my face. “I’m quitting tomorrow.”
“What?” This time his voice rose and he looked worried. “You can’t quit your job.”
“I have to.” I nodded and I jumped up as I felt myself becoming emotional. “I can’t work with this man anymore. He’s horrible. I can’t do it. I’m quitting and I’m never looking back.”
“Katie, please. I think you need to think about this.” Matt jumped up as well and I could see worry in his eyes. “You seem to love this job. You can’t just quit.”
“I can and I am.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I need to go home now. I’m sorry. But I have to go.” I hurried to the front door and opened it, feeling awful. My insides were churning with guilt and I rested my head against the door. Matt had looked awful right before I left. He’d looked like his world was about to cave in, and that was because of me. I couldn’t believe how badly I had treated him. And for what? I shook my head and sighed. I had to go back and explain to him that it wasn’t his fault. I didn’t want him to hate me. I wanted him to know that there were things I had really liked about him. I didn’t want to leave the apartment with Matt feeling like he’d been used. I’d felt that way before, and I knew how horrible it was. I walked back toward the living room to apologize once again for how everything had gone, but he wasn’t there. I walked slowly toward the bedroom, half afraid that I would see him crying or something. I knew he was a man, but I’d never really witnessed how emotional men did or didn’t get at the end of a relationship. I reached the door of his bedroom and stood in the open doorway. Matt’s back was to me, and I reached to knock on the door to alert him of my presence when he pulled out his phone and dialed some numbers. I decided to wait until he was done with the call and just stood there for a moment.