“How many tapeworms do you have?” Dylan asked Trevor, giving him a friendly elbow shove.
“Enough to keep eating.”
“Oh, to be young and have that metabolism again.”
“Sucks growing old.”
Old. Ouch. “Who’s old? We’re thirty-four!” Dylan’s cry of protest was met with smirks from the two younger men.
“Speak for yourself! Thirty over here,” Alex added.
“I don’t mind growing old, as long as it’s with Laura,” Mike said in a voice designed for the women at the next table to hear it.
“Sure, Mr. Zen. And the first time you find a gray pube on your balls, you’ll be bitching about it like the rest of us,” Dylan challenged.
“You found a gray pube already? Dude.” Trevor spoke in a voice filled with alarmed sadness. “I’m so sorry. Time for Viagra, huh?”
What. The. Fuck.
“I do not have gray pubes on my nads!” Dylan shouted. “And I don’t need Viagra! In fact, I have a refractory period that would put you to shame. Four times in five hours. Just tested it last week!”
“That Viagra can really let you pump ‘em out, huh?” Joe commented.
“I do not take Viagra!”
“Okay. Whatever. We believe you.” Those two little ass**les snickered away. Even Alex and Mike tried not to laugh. How the hell did the conversation go from a deep, painful reflection on how their families handled the revelation of their threesome to gray pubes and Viagra? In ten seconds flat?
“You damn well better believe me. Mike can vouch for it.”
That made Trevor and Joe turn beet red. Huh.
“Not so comfortable with each other, are you?” Dylan’s turn to put them in the squirmy position of being under the spotlight. “Can’t admit that you like it.”
“Like what?” Alex asked, surprising everyone.
“Like being with each other.”
“We’re not with each other. We don’t…you know.”
“You don’t touch.” Dylan’s statement made Joe’s face lose a little of the flush.
“Right.”
“But you’re still together.”
“Huh?”
“You’re together. You wouldn’t be with Darla—both of you—if you didn’t feel better having him there than you do not having him there,” Dylan pointed out.
“No, it’s not like that. It’s more like…” Trevor frowned, then made a face of acquiescence. “Um, I guess it is like that.”
“We’re perverts,” Joe said, sighing, banging his head slowly against the back of his chair. “Might not even be able to get an attorney’s license if someone knew.”
“Not true. No one can strip you of that right,” Mike said. “Don’t overthink like that. You’ll drive yourself crazy.”
Trevor shoved Joe’s leg, hard. “See? Told you.”
“Someone in law school told me they used to deny licenses to g*y attorneys in some states.” His face changed to a look of horror. “Not that we’re g*y!”
“Okay. Whatever. I believe you,” Dylan said, nodding with glee.
Joe and Trevor gave him sour looks while Mike and Alex just laughed.
“Fair point,” Trevor finally said. “Sorry about your gray nads.”
Joe snorted.
“But you can admit that the entire reason you’re in a threesome is because you like it better than being in a twosome.”
“Isn’t that the whole point?” Alex asked. “You make it a triad instead of a dyad because it’s…” He shot Dylan a helpless look.
“It’s what?” Trevor asked, looking to Mike and Dylan for guidance. “What the hell is this? Because we didn’t choose it. Didn’t want it, even. We don’t fight it.”
“We fight with each other,” Joe pointed out.
“But we don’t fight this. We don’t argue over this. You get jealous because I’m with Darla and you’re not, but you don’t get jealous of the fact that I’m here when all three of us are together. It’s confusing. It makes no sense because it defies logic!”
Trevor looked at Dylan dead on. “Do you guys have that? Jealousy that isn’t jealousy. It’s—whatthefuckever it is, it’s driving me insane. He won’t stop it. He just gets pissed all the time and takes it out on us.”
“Fuck off, I do not!” Joe shouted.
Darla gave a nervous look at the group. Dylan winked at her. Hey, this is what you and Laura wanted…we’re talking.
“Yes, you do!” Trevor pounded the table with his fist. Just once, but enough to make Mike and Alex exchange looks with him.
“It’s not my fault. You’re trying to make her like you more.”
“What?” Trevor yelped.
Mike shot Dylan a look that made both men burst aloud and say, in unison, “Been there, done that.”
Alex stood, looking nervous and uncomfortable. “I’m being paged, dammit. Just when this gets good.” He pulled a buzzing phone from his pocket.
“We’ll save the sex talk for after you’ve gone.”
His face fell, and Dylan laughed. “You mean I hung on for all the crap talk and now I have to go before it gets kinky?”
“You want to learn about threesomes, just go on YouPorn,” Josie said from behind him, pinching his hip. Dylan looked at the women’s booth and saw Darla and Laura in deep conversation.
“Or ask Josie about hers,” Darla piped up.
Alex gave her a blank look that made Dylan’s balls crawl up his thigh a few inches. “Your what?”
“Bye! See ya!” Josie called out as she dragged Alex through the front door, the two in a heated discussion that made Dylan grin with an evil chaos.
“Josie had a threesome,” Mike said drolly, cocking one eyebrow at Dylan. “Did we know that?”
“How the hell would I know? She chatters so much it’s like one of those old dolls. Pull the string and the Real Baby talks!”
“You seriously don’t get jealous, though?” Trevor asked, giving Joe a hard look as his words were directed at Dylan and Mike. “At all?”
“Not jealous of each other. No. But jealous of one of us having more time than the other with Jill or, now, Laura?” Dylan’s turn to give Mike a hard look. “I think Mike should answer that.”
“You two had sex on my day!” Mike exploded. “We had a schedule!”