“Yes, it is.”
“That’s California roll. Sashimi…now that’s sushi.”,” Dylan said.
“Actually,” Mike interjected, “neither is.”
It sounded like an old argument, and presumably it was.
“I can finally eat sashimi again, can’t I?” Laura answered, just remembering. “Hmmmm…” She bit her lower lip and stared with great longing at Mike’s raw salmon.
“You wanna trade?” he offered, reluctantly.
She gave him a closed-mouth smile. “No, go ahead, it’s fine, but next time, get me some.”
The three parents dug into their meal with gusto.
Josie seemed to have forgotten that anyone else was in the room, so intent was she on studying and absorbing the baby’s features. She was a natural. Alex found his mind wandering to a future, and caught a glimpse of the woman he could love holding their child. He’d always thought of it…fatherhood…one day, but now he had a face to attach to the imagined reality.
“You want one?” Dylan asked.
Shaking himself out of his reverie, Alex looked up to find Dylan holding out a tray of California roll. “Oh, oh…no. No. Thanks. I’m…I’m good.” As if on cue, his stomach rumbled.
Dylan cocked his head and said, “Hey man, we’ve got plenty.”
“You’re hungry?” Josie said, snapping out of her own little world. “You want to get dinner?”
I want to get that tick check you promised, he thought. “Dinner would be great, but first, give me a chance to hold her.”
“Oh, come on, I just got her,” Josie protested.
“And you’ll get to hold her…for”—he paused and looked around the room—“forever. Or at least until she she’s too wiggly and won’t let anyone hold her anymore. Then you’ll get to play with her—running around the playground, or digging for worms, or doing whatever it is that kids do when they reach the point where they don’t want to be held. This is my shot, though. Let me have a turn?”
“I’m twenty-nine and I’d like to still be held,” Laura piped up.
“Ooooooooh,” said Mike, coming over and giving her a big hug. Dylan piled on, too, keeping his hands extended out so that his fish-covered fingers didn’t touch her.
“That’s not what I meant,” Laura said, but tears filled her eyes. “I wish my mom could be here,” she said quietly. She swallowed hard, and the tears spilled over, running down her bright red cheeks.
“Your mom would have loved her,” Josie said, handing the baby off to Alex, and then walking over to the bed to touch Laura’s leg in assurance.
Alex hadn’t meant to hit so many nerves, but apparently he’d said the wrong thing. “So, I think we should be going.” The soft heft of the baby wrapped in the flannel blanket made a part of him go soft and paternal, time slowing down as he acknowledged the wonder of this little girl’s new life. She smelled like freshness and perfection, and as he traced her cheek with one finger he found the sweetness almost too much. Almost. If he let himself, he could sit down with new babies and rock them to sleep all day. Sadly, that wasn’t his job.
Besides, he had some unfinished business with Josie.“Let's give the Daddies a turn with their daughter,” Alex said, guessing correctly that refocusing would help Laura pull herself together.
Plus, he wanted to get Josie out of here. To do what, he wasn’t sure. He’d love to do more of what they had just done down by the river, but he thought he should hold off. Having this start out so hot, so fast, risked burning it out just as quickly.
His concern was that Josie would mistake his desire for her as only sexual. But he’d meant what he’d said to her that first moment in the on call room, as they had furiously undressed—this really wasn’t just about sex. She was giving him hints that she felt that, too. Everything from guessing he drank macchiatos, and real ones, no less, to telling him more about herself, letting down that sarcastic, jaunty way that she shielded herself from the world. It was a message. For her this wasn’t all about the sex. Clearly she had no problem with the sex part, but there was more to it. He hoped this was the beginning of something far greater than anything he’d ever had with a woman. Making love to her again so soon, as much as he wanted to, might set the wrong tone.
As he watched her chat with Laura, and lean in for a hug, then a kiss on the cheek, he saw a warmth to her that she only showed to people she was close to. Even Dylan got a hug from her, and that surprised him. It pleased him, too. When she stood on extreme tiptoes to give Giant Mike an embrace as well, he smiled involuntarily.
“Hold on,” Mike said, peering at the top of her head. Fishing in her hair, Mike untangled a leaf and held it up to look.
“You’re sprouting these days?” the man asked her, and Alex suppressed a laugh.
“No comment,” she said, avoiding everyone’s eyes.
“Alex?”
“I defer to Josie.”
“Just repeat that phrase a thousand times for the rest of your life and you’ll do fine with her,” Dylan added.
Josie laughed and moved toward the doorway; Alex took her cue, handing the baby off to Laura. He reached over and rubbed Jillian’s soft little head, and then looked Laura in the eyes. “Congratulations, again. You did it.”
She smiled and closed her eyes, swallowing hard. “Thank you. I did, didn’t I? My midwife called me a birth warrior.”
He did a slow inhale and smiled, his cheeks hurting from so much grinning. “I think that’s pretty apt.”
“Thank you,” she said.
“For what?”
Laura’s eyes darted over to Josie, who was speaking animatedly with Dylan about knocking it off with his giraffe.
“Oh,” Alex said. He looked away, a bit flustered. “That.”
“Yeah”—Laura pointed her finger covertly at Josie—“that. Take care of that,” she said, winking.
He nodded and turned away, not sure what to say. As he walked to the doorway, Josie reached out, tentatively, for his hand. The public gesture, two feet away from Dylan, made him swell with hope. It made other things swell as well, and now that tight feeling plagued him. Already? Yes, he was ready again, already, and as they walked out the door and said their final goodbyes, he wondered what would happen next in the elevator.
Chapter Seven
Josie pressed the elevator button and reached back for Alex’s hand. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that blonde nurse again, who was glaring daggers at both of them. “What’s up with that woman?” Josie asked.