Tucking her hair behind her ears, Violet clutched her purse close and knocked at Jonathan’s hotel room door. She heard him bound across the room and the door swung open. Jonathan stood there, his shirt rumpled, his hair a mess, and his face looking tired and aged, despite the fact she’d seen him only a few hours ago.
“Violet,” he murmured, and held the door open wider. “Come in.”
“Actually,” she said softly, “I can’t.” Her heart ached and tears threatened. “I came to tell you good-bye.”
“No,” he breathed. His eyes narrowed, grew hard. “Violet, no. Don’t do this to me.” He reached for her as if he wanted to hold her, and then drew back, as if sensing she would pull away. “Violet, please. Let’s talk about this—”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Jonathan. I just . . . Coming here was a mistake. I allowed myself to be sucked in, and I think it’s time I went home and went back to my normal life before I get pulled in too deep. It was great seeing you, but I can’t do this.”
“We don’t have to go to your father’s grave,” he said quickly. The look in his eyes was tense. “We can forget he ever started this scavenger hunt bullshit. Just stay with me. Please.”
She shook her head, backing away a step or two. “Don’t make this more difficult than it already is—”
“Make this more difficult?” He barked a laugh and it was hard, ugly. “It doesn’t seem like it’s difficult for you to leave me at all. This is the second time things have gotten intense and you’ve turned and ran.”
“That’s not fair.” She clutched her purse against her side like it was a lifeline.
“I don’t give a shit about fair, Violet. I love you.” His voice was ragged, and the pain on his face was terrible to see. “I’ve always loved you. It’s never changed.”
“But I’ve changed, Jonathan. I think that’s where we keep having a difference of opinion. I have changed and I don’t know that you have.” Her smile was apologetic, sad.
“You’re not even giving me a chance. Goddamn it, Violet, at least give me a chance!”
She knew she wasn’t. But she also knew she didn’t have to give him a chance. It was obvious to her how these things would turn out. “Let’s say I did. Let’s say I jumped right back into your bed and we continued on our merry way. What then?”
His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, what happens next for us?”
He looked exasperated by her question. “Whatever you want. I don’t care, Violet, as long as we’re together. That’s all that matters to me.”
“Yes, but you have a life, and friends. So do I. You have archaeological expeditions you’re supporting and a car company to run. I have school to teach. You’re based out of New York, aren’t you? I’m in Detroit. These things don’t mesh really well. When would we see each other?”
He opened his mouth, and then snapped it shut again, eyes narrowing as if sensing a trap.
She raised a hand into the air, a mute apology. “I know. There’s no right answer. You can’t just give up your business and your pursuits to come hang out with me while I teach, and I can’t just abandon school and my students just so I can be your girlfriend.”
“Violet—”
She shook her head. “Don’t you see? We’ve moved on. Moved past.”
“I don’t see that at all,” he said, his voice rising. “I see you trying to shut me out again—”
“That’s not true—”
“You won’t even let me finish a sentence,” he snapped. “Is it because you won’t like what I’m trying to say? Because it’s easier to just decide that you already have your mind made up about me, and you’ll just go on with your life without me?”
Her mouth clamped shut and she glared at him, irritation rising to the forefront. She’d been hurting when she’d approached his door, and now he was trying to turn this around on her? When he didn’t say anything else—heaven forbid she interrupt him—she gave a small sigh. “I’m not here to argue with you—”
“No, you’re just here to leave me.” He raked a hand through his hair and looked so tormented that she felt a twinge of doubt. “Violet, please. Whatever you want, I’ll make it happen. I just don’t want to lose you again.”
Her mouth forced itself into a wobbling smile. “What’s that old saying about loving something and setting it free?”
“Don’t,” he said harshly, and he averted his face, as if in pain.
“I’m sorry, Jonathan. I just . . . I just can’t. I can’t rely on anyone else for my happiness. It has to come from within me.”
“You make me happy, Violet.”
His eyes were curiously shiny, and that made her heart ache even more. It made what she had to say doubly difficult. “Yes, but I’m not sure if I feel the same.”
He closed his eyes. “Let me try to make you happy. Please, Violet. Just give me a chance.”
She shook her head. “Good-bye, Jonathan. Don’t come after me, okay? Set me free.”
Before he could say anything else, she leaned forward, gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and then turned and raced for the elevator. If she looked back, she’d regret it. If she saw the pain in his eyes, it would just compound the pain she was feeling right now. But she knew that this was pain she could get over. She’d gotten over it once. She could do so again.
As she hit the button for the elevator, she distantly heard the sound of a lamp smashing into a wall.
—
Violet was gone again. His Violet had abandoned him once more. She said it was to spare them both, but he knew the truth. Violet was scared, and so she was running again.
Don’t come after me, okay? Set me free.
God. He clenched his fists, his shoulders heaving as he looked for something else to throw. The TV was close by, and he grabbed the flatscreen and slammed it into the wall, viciously enjoying the shower of broken pieces that rained down onto the carpets.
Fuck everything.
His heart had just been pulled out of his chest and stomped on by a petite, gorgeous woman who he loved with all of his soul. Someone who he didn’t make happy. That gnawed at him worse than anything. He couldn’t make her happy. Even if she stayed with him, she’d still be miserable.