“Brenna, this is Justine,” a sweet voice said. “I just talked to Grant, and he sounded so sad. He told me you two had been fighting and, well, I just wanted to call and ask if you were okay.”
Brenna softened at that. She should have been annoyed at Grant’s mom interfering with their relationship—it’s not a relationship, she reminded herself—but it was nice that Justine was checking in on her and seeing if she was okay.
“Grant can be a little difficult at times,” Justine continued. “And a little pigheaded when he gets his heart set on something. But his heart’s in the right place, you know. Ever since Heather died . . . well. I don’t want to talk about her to you. But I wanted to tell you that he seems happier and more alive with you than he has been since he was with her. Since before that, actually. Not that Heather was a bad girl. She just wasn’t right for him. But you’re good for him, you know. And I don’t want you to give up on him too soon. Both Reggie and I like you enormously, and Elise does, too. We’d love for you to be a permanent fixture in Grant’s life.”
And just like that, her emotional pleasure at Justine’s kindness popped like a bubble. Permanent fixture in Grant’s life, eh?
She deleted the rest of the message without listening to it. Brenna wanted to be no one’s permanent fixture. She grabbed a decorative woven throw blanket off the back of the couch and curled up with it, turning on the TV. She’d be sleeping here tonight, if only to prove a point.
TEN
Two days later, Brenna was feeling . . . unhappy.
It wasn’t something she liked to admit to herself. She liked having no worries, no cares, no ties to anything. The reason why she liked this job so much? No responsibility and being surrounded by friends. She could pack up her car and leave the next day and it wouldn’t matter much to anyone but Dane and Colt, who treated her like their wacky kid sister. Rome pretty much kept to himself or stuck to Pop’s side, since the elderly man was showing him how to do maintenance and get familiar with the area.
Since Grant was ignoring her and the others were out? That meant the days were long. And it made her restless and miserable. Before, she and Grant had a strange kind of friendly rivalry. Coworkers who didn’t necessarily like each other but had to get along. Now? They got along just fine because he didn’t talk to her except to answer pointed questions. If she asked what the weather was going to be like, he’d say “cloudy.” If she asked if he had work for her, he’d say “no.” If she asked him if he wanted to go grab dinner, he’d given her a look that told her just what he thought of that suggestion.
Brenna had never really bought into the theory that sex ruined everything. Sex was awesome, unless it sucked, so how could it possibly ruin a friendship?
Except now she knew better.
She hadn’t realized until now that she had feelings for him. Not love and smoochiness—she refused to feel that way about anyone—but real affection and friendship. Tied in with the sex? It was almost like a real relationship.
And that freaked her out.
More so considering that she didn’t have any of that affection or friendship anymore.
She had slept on the couch in the lodge the last two days. At first she’d been fine with it, since she’d slept on more couches in her life than real beds. But sleeping on a couch after sleeping next to a big warm body? Not fun. And the couch here in the lodge had been chosen for looks instead of comfort. It was a rustic-looking couch, with leather seats and wooden arms and legs. It also gave her the worst crick in the neck. She was getting soft.
And if she was honest with herself? She missed the sex. A lot.
Grant was the best she’d ever had, and she’d had more than her fair share (though she hadn’t mentioned that to Grant, and he hadn’t asked). She’d loved his attentiveness in bed and the way that he acted as if she was constantly blowing his mind. She had to admit, she was a fan of that, too. She even liked his possessive hovering before and after, the way he liked to touch her constantly, the way he picked out clothes for her or made her a snack, or held her in the shower so she could rinse off when she was too boneless from multiple orgasms to stand up on her own.
But those weren’t things that fit into the Brenna lifestyle. Things like relationships fell into the same category as stuff. It was good for other people, but had no value in her life. The fact that she’d somehow gotten dragged into a quasi-relationship bothered her. She was the one who would be free-spirited and independent forever.
So yeah, sex had ruined everything.
Which stank because she really, really wanted more sex. Why couldn’t Grant humor her in such a small request?
As if her turbulent thoughts had brought him into the office, Grant came through the front door of the lodge, dropping his keys into a nearby bowl and shaking off his raincoat. It was a drizzly day and Colt and Dane were running Rome through his paces before taking his first class out in two days. The weather was nasty but they thought it was perfect, since part of the survival school package was that you didn’t get to pick your weather. It was just Brenna in the lodge.
And she hadn’t realized how lonely it had been until Grant walked in and she felt herself light up. She straightened in her chair. “Hey, how’s the weather?”
He glanced at her. “Wet.”
“You want some coffee? I just made some.”
“No.” He moved past her, shaking out the dampness from his dark hair and heading to his desk.
“You going to work for a few hours?”
“Depends.”
“On?”
“Nothing important.” He flipped through his mail and then tossed it down on his desk. He sat down in his chair and stared at his desk drawer for a moment, and her heart thudded. Was he thinking about the picture of Heather that he had hidden away in there? But to her relief, he pulled out a letter opener and began to slit open an envelope.
Relief escaped her in a sigh.
Grant glanced up. “What?”
“Nothing.” She bit her lip. This was not working. Even watching his hands as he went through the mail was making her ache. Stupid man, depriving them both of sex because there weren’t any feelings attached. So she had to offer. “You know what would be good right now?”
He looked up from his desk. “What?”
“A nice, steamy orgasm.” Brenna put her chin on her fists and had a dreamy look on her face. “I sure could go for a deep dicking right about now.”