Sleeping beside him wore her down as well. Nicole was aware he came in every night, though he hadnt realized that she woke each time he entered the bed.
She should be angry at the liberty. But as long as he didnt think she knew, she could just pretend she didnt and continue to enjoy the warmth he provided in the freezing nights.
But sometimes when he put his arms around her and pulled her to him, his hand would brush her breast. Shed go still at the shock of pleasure. Each night she found it harder not to respond, and it took every ounce of willpower she possessed not to move against his body, so warm and hard against hers. His heartbeat drumming into her back relaxed her guard, lulling her.
When she was recovering, hed sleep soon after he lay down, but now he stayed awake, tense. A night didnt go by when she couldnt feel the evidence of his arousal. He held himself in check. For her. She wished he wouldnt. She wished hed pull her to him and touch her as hed done in the past.
Then the guilt would overcome her. How could she desire him when hed had her crew jailed? He himself had said that hed given them no word of her health. Of course they would try to mutiny; they had no idea what he was doing with her. No, she couldnt let down her guard with him. Any man cruel enough to antagonize her sailors and throw them to the wolves in Cape Town when they reacted could not be trusted.
Are you all right? Jimmy asked, pulling her from her thoughts.
She looked down to see that her hands were clenched. Im fine.
Jimmy frowned as he picked up the tray. Better get this back to Cook.
When she nodded absently, he carried out the tray.
Suddenly restless, Nicole bundled up in nearly every piece of her clothing, draped a blanket over the whole, and headed out the door. For what seemed like an hour, she stared out at the sea, where the moons light flashed over the water. It hung above the horizon as if it were too great and heavy to rise.
Incredible, is it not? Sutherland said as he walked up behind her. Its as if shes reluctant to part from the sea. He stood, making no move to join her at the railing.
She didnt answer, just battled the urge to sink back into him, into the warmth she enjoyed even now without touching him.
I think this is my favorite part of the entire journeythese last few days so far south.
How could his voice affect her so? Why did it tempt her to turn and bury herself against his chest?
She shook her head, reminding herself that hed hurt her crew. That doesnt surprise me, she began in a waspish tone, since its cold. If she was cutting enough, would he leave her?
Silence followed, and she almost regretted her sharp tone. He placed his hand on her shoulder.
Youre shivering. Why dont you ever wear the warm clothes I set out for you?
Oh, is that why you place them on the bed? she asked without feigning interest.
Yes. I, uh, didnt know how to go about getting you to wear my things.
In the future, dont waste your time.
He exhaled. Nicole, I want you to know, he said haltingly, that I am sorry for the way things have been between us. I would change the way Ive treated you if I could.
When she said nothing, he turned her. I know you might hate me, but weve got something between us that cant be ignored any longer. Dont you feel how right this could be? he asked as he gently stroked her cheek. His eyes, glowing silver in the moonlight, mesmerized her with their intensity.
She looked away and attempted a casual tone. You make it sound as if we have no say in the matter, as if its something out of our control.
Thats how its felt to me. Even when I believed youd harmed my crew, I still wanted you no matter how hard I fought it.
He was describing the same feelings she had. The involuntary ones that made her forget about her crewabout Chancey.
She stiffened. Too much has passed between us. Its too late. If you feel bad about how Ive been treated here, then make it up to me. By leaving me alone.
The next morning, Derek was resolved. The night before, shed told him, clearly told him, that she wanted nothing to do with him. Her body, rubbing against his till dawn, relayed a different want. If he had to win her on that level to have her completely, then he would. Hed use every night to overcome her objections until he could claim her days.
As on most mornings, he spent his time watching her from the bridge over a cup of coffee. Her looks charmed him, cheeks rosy from the crisp breeze, braids peeking out from the floppy hat she was never without.
She walked across the deck to Jebediah. Approaching Jeb was a first, and could she be ? She was wearing Dereks sweater.
His thick, favorite, obscenely expensive sweater.
Well, hed told her to wear his clothes, right?
These were good signs. Apparently Jeb thought so, too, because after nodding emphatically to her, he tore off to the galley as fast as his old body could creak along. Minutes later, hed retrieved bait and fishing tackle and set her up at amidships. She said something else to him, and when he walked away his chest was puffed up in pride. A smile creased his old face.
Shed chosen to throw out a line right when the fishing would pick up again, now that they were finally traveling more to the north, and that impressed him. He was content to watch her from a distance as she took out a small fish for bait, cut it, hooked it, and then slowly ran her slimy hands down the front of his sweater. He could swear that the scales embedded in the fine fabric shone in the sun. Casually, she grasped and cast her rod.
How could she? But that was fine. He could get past cut-up fish on his clothing if it made her feel better.
She leaned over the rail. He worried, even though he knew he shouldnt. She had shown again and again how perfectly she walked the ship. So why was he storming across the deck?
As he approached her, he could hear her calling enticingly down the side of the ship, cooing down at the water.
He-ere fishy, fishy. He-ere fishy.
His lips twitched.
Fishy want a tow? she asked playfully, bowing over the side of the ship.
When he reached her, he looked out to see a shark diving and swirling around her bait as if trying to decide about it.
How will you get that thing aboard? he asked. It looks to be quite large.
She didnt appear surprised that he was there. She gave him an impatient sigh and pointedly glanced at the rod and reel she held. Speaking in slow tones as though answering a small child, she said, When the fish takes the bait, I will begin to turn this crank until its raised to the deck. Its magic, she breathed sarcastically.
Fine, fine, he said with a grin. He just seems a little large for you to reel in.