He didnt hesitate. I am Derek Andrew Sutherland, sixth earl of Stanhope, and I am taking your granddaughter to Gretna Green to marry her.
The dowager sighed impatiently. If you must .
Derek paused, openly surprised. Have her thingsif you could have her things sent along to the Bickham Inn tonight?
Her grandmother nodded, as if hed just asked her to pass the salt.
Nicoles eyes went wide, and he took advantage of her shock by steering her toward the door again. Nicole looked back, baffled.
The marchioness had a grin on her face.
If I didnt know better, Derek remarked as he hustled Nicole into the carriage, Id think the old girl might just like me. His tone was normal, as if they were having a chat over tea. It made it difficult for Nicole to sort out her thoughts. She wanted to sound rational to him, to point out logically why they wouldnt suit, but shed sound like a fishwife compared to his even tone.
She girded herself by recalling that she was beyond irritation at his conceit, at his assumption that she would just roll over and marry him. Her thoughts bubbled up in a stammering flood. This is kidnapping! Just like beforeI wont have itnot againnot from you.
Its not kidnapping. Its eloping, he pointed out reasonably.
Eloping? I wont marry you. I wont! I cant trust youyou left me before. Her voice finally broke. Hot tears poured from her eyes, replacing those she swiped away. Nothing ever hurt me so badly, and Ill be damned if I set myself up for that again.
Chapter 28
Leaving you nearly broke me, Derek countered as he swept a tear from her cheek. He saw her wobbling bottom lip and added gently, But I had to go. Ill explain to you why if youll listen to me.
She said nothing.
Please, just let me explain. Ive never told anyone what Im about to tell you. Grant suspected, but he was never certain.
In a huff, she replied, Well, then, go on!
He nearly smiled at her militant tone, but instead took a deep breath. William was my older brother and the heir, but he was not a good man. He was hedonistic and spoiledmade that way by the family and servants cosseting him and making him think he was next to God. Plus, in our fathers eyes he could do no wrong.
He looked over to see if she was listening.
Continue.
He raised his eyebrows, then said, When William was shot in a drunken duel, a neighboring lords daughter came to our family and told us she was carrying Williams child.
When he paused, Nicole impatiently tapped at his hand for him to go on. Her tears were drying.
My father was ecstatic that Williams blood would be passed onthat his precious heirs child would inherit
But wouldnt the child be a bastard? she interrupted, clearly getting caught up in the tale.
He didnt answer for several seconds. Thats where I came in, he said tonelessly.
Oh, no, she murmured, her face a mirror of his pain as she comprehended what he was saying.
My mother was against the idea of me wedding her and passing the child off as my own, but in the end, everyone pitied her and pushed for marriage. Even I felt a responsibility for her. I resented William for doing thisId always cleaned up after him, and it appeared that I would take on his last obligation for the rest of my life. But as I said, I felt sorry for the girl, and married her.
What about your own children? What if youd had a son?
You have to understand that my father loved William above all else.
When Nicole nodded, he continued, On our wedding night and for several nights afterward, she refused the marriage bed, saying she was ill due to the child. But on that first night, shed asked me to stay in her chamber to allay suspicion, and I agreed.
After a week, she indicated that she was ready to become my wife in truth, but when I arrived home that night, I received an anonymous letter. The spelling was poor, as well as the penmanship, and I didnt doubt one of the servants had written it. The letter explained that the reason she hadnt wanted to share her bed with me was because she was having her monthly cycle.
But the baby
There was no baby. Over her gasp, he resumed. I flew into a rage and confronted her, but she denied it, swearing she was pregnant. She was very convincing. But then she began an almost panicked attempt to seduce me. I knew then. After an hour of yelling and threats, she finally admitted that shed tricked our entire familygloated was more like it. She told me of her fathers financial troubles and how theyd determined she would become the next countess of Stanhope. She also said that Williams death was a godsend, because theyd finally concluded that no matter how much she teased and dallied with him, he simply wasnt going to wed her.
Oh, my God
Its worse. She hinted, though I could never prove or disprove it, that shed engineered the events that led to Williams death, that she brought about the duel by playing one man against the other. It was then that I really glimpsed the coldness in her eyes. Shes truly a heartless woman. To this day, I wonder if she said those things to hurt me further or if she spoke the truth. I couldnt turn her over to the authorities, not knowing for certain. I threatened annulment, but she pointed out that no one would believe me if I said Id never been intimate with her. She was far from virginal, and Id spent the night of the wedding in her room. Plus, she was a celebrated beauty.
What about divorce? Nicole questioned, sounding outraged.
In my family, death before divorce was the rule, but I threatened her. She countered that it would kill my father, whod been ailing ever since William died. In fact, it was on the eve of my fathers death that he made me swear Id always take care of Williams love.
I was corneredthere was nothing I could do. I could hurt my family and break a deathbed promise to my father, or I could stay wed to her. My path was clear, but I knew Id die before I let a woman like that be the mother of my children. I swore to her that I would never be a husband to her. And I never was. When I got back from Australia, Lydia was pregnant by some foreign lord. She wanted an annulment. She told people I was unable to perform my marital duties
Nicole made a wholly disbelieving sound that he felt complimented by, then asked, But couldnt you have told me this, instead of abandoning me in Sydney?
I realized that I was a worthless drunk. I convinced myself that if I left, youd forget about me and find someone more worthy of you. You deserved so much moreto be married, to have children who wouldnt bear the stigma of illegitimacy. I was trying to do what was right.
His eyes caught hers as he took her hand. If Id told you I was leaving and youd given me any indication that you wanted me, I wouldnt have been able to part from you.