His eyes widened, barely perceptibly, and he reached out to smooth the tear away. Damn it, Nicole. This got out of hand. Im He exhaled. Im sorry. I dont know why I turn into an ass around you. I think its because Im on unsure footing with you.
Unsure footing? When have I ever given you anything to doubt?
You havent. But after what I did to you I wonder how you could forgive me.
So you want me to prove myself, my feelings for you, by choosing you over my family? Isnt the fact that I married you enough?
Only after I dragged you to the altar.
If you think you pushed marriage on me, then you dont know me at all. I made a decision because I think we can have a good life together. But not if you cant be reasonable and respect my feelings.
Im sorry, love. Lets forget this.
I would like to think youd help my father if he needed it.
He shook his head slowly. Ill give you anything, but thats something Ill never do.
The finality in his words made her realize she should just accept the hatred between the two. Why fight it? Her father had provoked Derek; she knew that. And Derek obviously wouldnt be the bigger man and bury the animosity.
Still, thinking of the blows her father had dealt Peregrine made it difficult to blame Derek. But that didnt make the sadness go away. Even when he stroked her face and her frown eased, she dreaded telling her father about her marriage to his worst enemy, an enemy content to stay that way.
Derek knew they couldnt continue like this. Hed hurt Nicole. He never wanted to do that again. She was his wife now, a beautiful, courageous woman who could love him. He didnt want to think he was the only thing standing in the way of her complete happiness.
Even now, as they rode home, he wondered about her. Was she looking out the carriage window, thinking, regretting their marriage? He knew she worried about Lassiters company. And he knew having to tell her father about the marriage weighed on her.
After they arrived home in London and hed introduced her to his staff, he noticed her suppressing a yawn. He flushed; he hadnt thought how the late nights and the travel might affect her.
He didnt wait, but scooped her into his arms, carrying her to his room.
Derek!
Im putting you to bed.
Its the middle of the day. I cant go to sleep. When they entered his bedroom, she yawned again. Well, perhaps She looked around the spacious, mahogany-paneled room. This is your room.
She wouldnt want to sleep with him? Is that bad?
No, I like it here. I just dont know why Im so tired.
Because Ive made love to you continually for three days, he said as he set her down and began undoing her buttons. Even a lusty woman like you has her limits. He drew the gown over her head and kissed her neck. Anyone would need some rest after the last few nights.
She finished undressing down to her shift. Maybe for a few minutes, but then I have to go to my father. Theyll be back by now. Her voice was sad, her tone lethargic.
He pulled the counterpane over her as she snuggled down in his bed. He liked seeing her there. Kissing her forehead, he said, I know. Well talk when you wake up.
After he left her, he settled in his study, looking out the window, lost in thought. Damn it, he didnt want Nicole to feel like this! Yes, she acted much the same outwardly, but she wasnt happy. Hed sworn to be a better husband, a sober husband, and he knew she believed in him. But she needed more.
He sank back in his chair.
Even if he wanted to end the war between him and Lassiter, what could he do? Unlike Nicole, Derek didnt think an apology and a handshake would suffice for the bastthe man. No, some things were better left alone.
In Sydney, Derek had ceased to dismiss it when she told him he was a good man inside, but he hadnt been giving her much to believe in lately. If he didnt change, he would lose her. Period. And he couldnt imagine life without her.
Chapter 30
Nicole awoke an hour later, unable to sleep any longer. She rose and redressed, splashing water on her face and smoothing her hair before going in search of her husband in the huge mansion. A servant told her hed gone out ten minutes before and wasnt expected back before dinner.
He must be out seeing to business. She sighed. In the back of her mind, shed thought Derek would come around. Thats why shed let their argument drop. But hed fled without even accompanying her to her fathers ship, much less giving her a kiss good-bye. Shed be facing her father on her own.
After a short carriage ride, she boarded the Griffin. Chancey was there to greet her. Well, not preciselyhe silently indicated with his hand that she should follow him into the room directly off the salon, then left without a word.
From the next room, she could hear a conversation just beginning between her father and her husband! Did Chancey want her to overhear what was said?
What do you want? Lassiter snapped.
Nicole heard Maria say softly, Jason
Amazingly, her father calmed and said gruffly, Well, whyve you come here?
Maria added, Captain Sutherland, we are very honored to have you visit us.
Im glad to have been admitted, Derek replied.
Her father sounded angry again. Were waitingstate your business and be gone.
Derek took a deep breath. I wantI need your help, he finally bit out.
Lassiter burst out laughing. Nicole couldnt believe the man cackling was related to her.
Maria spoke over his laughter. How can we be of service to you?
I need help with Nicole. At that, Lassiter fell silent. Until he bellowed, What have you done? He must have lunged for Derek, because she heard scuffling and glass breaking. Nicole was up and not quite at the door when Maria said, Jason! Then the room quieted. Nicole eased back.
I procured an annulment and married her. Again, the sound of another enraged attack. This time she heard a punch and was flying out the door. Chancey, standing in the corridor, eyebrows raised, intercepted her. Nicole whispered crossly, Yes, I married him.
He gave her a grave, satisfied nod, then placed his finger over his lips and leaned forward to listen at the door. Nicole looked in both directions, then threw up her hands in exasperation and tiptoed closer.
I married her last week, Derek said in an unmistakably skewed voice. Chancey gave a small punch in the air, then pointed to his nose with a questioning look. Nicole shook her headshe recognized that tone from experience, and answered by tapping her jaw.
Perhaps you should explain what has occurred since weve been away, Maria said in a tone that brooked no denial. She somehow kept Lassiter in check the entire time Derek recounted what had happenedwell, most of what had happenedin the last couple of weeks.