No, she couldn't think that way. If she was pregnant, it would only be a temporary restraint on their part. But then she began to imagine sleepless nights, never being alone. No more kneeling in the living room as he f**ked her mouth. No more lying over the arm of the couch while he f**ked her long and hard.
With a groan, she buried her face in his neck, quivering with nervousness.
"Baby."
The single endearment stroked over her ears, soothing and quieting her worries. She was being selfish. Children meant change, and if she was pregnant, she certainly couldn't escape the inevitable.
She raised her head, disgusted by the sheen of tears hanging in her vision.
"I think it's been five minutes," he said softly.
She started to look over but he caught her chin, forcing her gaze back to him.
"I love you."
"I love you too," she whispered. "Think we should look now?"
He reached over without looking and snagged the test. His hand covered the result window as he pulled it between them.
"You look," she said.
Slowly, he opened his hand, staring down at the test lying on his palm. When he frowned, her heart dropped.
"What does it say?"
"You're not pregnant," he said softly.
Her eyes widened. Simultaneously relief and, oddly enough, disappointment swamped her. Why was she disappointed?
"That's a good thing, right?" she asked cautiously, still unsure of his reaction. He didn't seem happy.
He stared back down at the test. "Yeah, it's a good thing. We're not ready. You're not ready, honey, and I don't want you to have a baby until we're both sure it's what we want."
"I hear a but in there," she said gently.
He pressed his lips together in a rueful expression. "Would you believe that just for a teeny, tiny moment I was imagining what our baby would look like? Whether it would be a girl who was as gorgeous as her mama, or a boy who was as ornery as his father?"
Her heart ached just a bit too so she knew exactly what he meant. For a little bit she'd actually allowed herself to indulge in the fantasy of what a child would mean. And even though she knew without a doubt they'd escaped a kink in their relationship they didn't need, a part of her was disappointed.
"What it means is that you and I will make wonderful parents when the time comes," she said with a smile.
He cupped her chin and kissed her again. "We'll make a great mom and dad. In five years or so."
She laughed. "Exactly! Now, you and I have a date to go celebrate not being pregnant."
"You know," he said thoughtfully. "I have an even better idea."
"Oh?"
"Let's get married. Tonight."
She gaped at him. "But we can't get married tonight!"
He gave her a sly grin. "We can in Vegas."
A sharp tingle of excitement ran circles around her belly and then climbed up her throat.
"We could call Damon, who has already offered us the use of his jet. We go to Vegas, get married, spend a few days having really great sex and then we come home and move into our dream house."
"Oh, Gray," she breathed. "You really know how to present an argument, don't you?"
"I sure as hell hope so. Is it working?"
She gripped his hands in hers, the test still trapped against his palm.
"I should ask you if you still want to marry me."
"Of course I do. Oh gosh, do you really think we could do such a crazy thing? What about our jobs? I'm not sure Pop could spare us both. And what if Damon can't loan us the jet on such short notice?"
"Then we go book a commercial flight. If all else fails, we get in the truck and we drive. Come on, Faith. Let's get crazy and do it. I'm tired of waiting. I want you as my wife."
"Let me call Pop," she said breathlessly. "If he can spare us then yeah, let's do it."
"Tell you what. You call Damon. I'll call Pop. I'll need to smooth his feathers for upsetting his daughter anyway."
She kissed him exuberantly, letting all her excitement and passion bleed into that one kiss.
"Last one packed is a rotten egg!"
"Hi, Julie. I know you're out with Nathan and didn't want to bug you on your cell, so I thought I'd leave a message here. I'm not pregnant. God, am I relieved. Gray and I are both relieved. I mean, the test said I wasn't."
There was a long pause, and Julie could positively see Faith grappling with the sudden realization that tests weren't completely infallible. She grinned and shook her head.
"These tests are reliable, aren't they? Oh shit. Okay, well, I won't think about that right now. Anyway, I wanted to call to tell you that Gray and I are getting married. Tonight, I mean. We're flying to Vegas to tie the knot and won't be back for several days. Try not to kill Nathan while I'm gone. Give the man a break. He's obviously crazy about you. You and Serena try not to have too much fun without me. We'll catch up when I get back. And hey, thanks for the shoulder today. You're the best."
She made noisy smooching noises and then hung up.
Julie erased the voice mail and put the phone back on the kitchen table. The girl was certifiable. She'd called the wedding off, had a pregnancy scare and had eloped to Vegas all in twenty-four hours. And she had the nerve to call herself boring?
Clearly Julie needed to be taking lessons from her.
It was late, and Julie was tired, but she knew without a doubt she wouldn't go to sleep very easily. Too much occupied her mind, Nathan Tucker being the main distraction.
He'd surprised her tonight. He'd seemed alternately comfortable and ill at ease with her, almost as if she made him nervous. Was that why he'd never made a move before? His shyness was actually pretty endearing.
She had no idea where things were going with Nathan. He'd dropped her off without so much as a kiss good-bye. The tension between them had been palpable, but he must have the restraint of a saint because all he'd done is look at her with those gorgeous green eyes fringed with those too-long lashes. She'd melted into a puddle, and he'd simply told her good night.
She'd been plotting to jump him and drag him into her apartment while he could have been talking about the weather as calmly as he'd handled their farewell.
Maybe he just wasn't interested in her that way. But why go to the trouble of asking her out? Would she ever figure this guy out? He hadn't asked her out again. He hadn't given her the I'll call you line. He hadn't even said See you. Had the date gone that bad?
With an indelicate flop, she landed on the couch. Reclining, she put her head on the back and closed her eyes. Sexual frustration sucked. Men sucked.
Chapter 14
Micah leaned back in the chair in front of Faith's desk and turned his head as if to make sure they were still alone. "We still on for round two?"
"I wish to hell you wouldn't put it like that," Nathan grumbled. "And yeah, it would seem so. I mean, she asked for two nights. I guess I ought to be grateful she didn't ask for a week or something."
Not that he’d mind a month. Hell, he'd like a lot longer, but he wanted the blindfolds off and he wanted her to see him, to know it was him, to want him as much as he wanted her.
Micah eyed him with what could only be deemed amusement. "So how did the date go?"
Nathan grunted as he poured a cup of shit coffee that Micah had brewed and sipped cautiously. "It went."
"That good, huh?"
"It went exactly how I wanted" Nathan defended.
"So, what happened? You're acting like a bear with a sore paw this morning.”
"It's called frustration," he growled.
Micah chuckled. "You not have a good time, or she still holding out and running circles around you? I knew I loved this girl."
"We had a great time," Nathan said tightly. "She was great. Perfect, actually. I was determined to play it straight. She seemed convinced I was going to jump her, and I was determined to prove to her that I wasn't just after sex."
Micah leaned forward. "You aren't? Do tell. This gets more interesting by the minute."
Nathan sighed and ran a hand over his smoothly shaven head. "You ever look at a woman and just like what you see? I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about liking her. The entire package."
"This reminds me of being in the third grade and having Emily Robbins tell me that she liked me but she didn't like me like me, because she liked, liked, liked Bobby Ray Coleman."
Nathan aimed a pencil at Micah's head and let fly. Micah ducked and the pencil bounced off the water cooler by the door.
"Okay, so you like her. The whole package. I get the feeling you're about to get all deep on me, man. We should probably be having this conversation over drinks, and one of us should be drunk. Preferably me."
"I wonder if anyone would miss you if you just disappeared one day," Nathan said.
Something peculiar flashed in Micah's eyes before they became bland again. "Nah, just Pop, and he could replace me quick enough."
"Don't tempt me then."
"All right, all right," Micah said, waving his hand impatiently. "So you like her. You don't want sex with her except if she doesn't know about it. Weird, man. I gotta say, you're one kinky bastard."
"Micah," Nathan growled.
He chuckled. "Okay, continue on."
"She expects me to want sex. I don't think she trusts men very much. I think she likes us as a species just fine, but I get the idea they've done a number on her, or maybe she just hasn't been very impressed by what she's experienced so far."
"So you want to prove her wrong. By having anonymous sex with her?"
Nathan glared at Micah who was contorting his face to keep from laughing.
"If I had my way, she'd be at my place, in my bed and we damn well wouldn't have any company. But since I don't have a choice in the matter unless I want her off f**king God knows who at a place where she could easily get hurt by some guy who wouldn't give a f**k about her or her pleasure, I have to go with what I've been given."
He turned away in irritation. He felt like a slimeball deceiving Julie like this, and okay, maybe he did think the threesome thing was pretty damn hot, but he still objected to having more than one dick in the room when he was hav**g s*x.
"Look, man, I know it isn't ideal, but you have a couple of choices. You come clean about your participation and go from there, you pretend you don't know a thing and ask her out for the same night and see what happens or you keep quiet and give her the best sex of her life."
"With you present," Nathan said darkly.
"If it bugs you that much, I can always slip out. If you're good enough, she won't even notice I'm gone," he said with a grin.
Nathan sighed. "That wouldn't be fair to her. Hell, none of it is, but I'm just enough of a selfish, conniving bastard that I can't stand the idea of another man touching her."
"So I take it you're going with option C."
"Fuck me," Nathan bit out. "She's making me crazy, Micah. It's not just lust. She does it for me. I'm telling you this is my dream woman, and she acts like . . . well, she called me sweet for God's sake."
"Ouch. Next thing you know, you'll be dickless and wearing pink."
"Thanks for that," Nathan muttered.
"Sorry I'm late," Pop said as he ambled through the door. Connor was on his heels.
"Where's Faith?" Nathan asked. He was still concerned after yesterday's showdown between her and Gray.
"Not like her to miss work," Micah said with a frown.
Pop smiled, and it was one of those shit-eating grins. "We're going to have to manage without Faith—and Gray, for that matter—for a few days."
Nathan exchanged looks with Micah and then they both turned to Connor. Connor shrugged and jerked a thumb in Pop's direction.
"Ask him. He has all the deets. I'm just the older brother. No one tells me anything."
"Faith and Gray flew to Las Vegas last night to get married. I imagine by now they've tied the knot and are tucked away in the honeymoon suite somewhere," Pop announced.
Micah chuckled. "Gray's a smart bastard. Hustled her off to Vegas before she could change her mind again."
Nathan frowned. "Is that what she wanted? He didn't coerce her, did he?"
Pop smiled. "It's nice of you to worry about her, son. Connor wasn't too happy with the way things went down either, but I talked to both her and Gray last night. Faith sounded over the moon. Whatever their issues, they seem to have worked them out."
"When I saw her yesterday, she seemed awfully upset," Nathan said doubtfully.
"She loves him," Micah said reassuringly. "I'm guessing there was a misunderstanding over the time he was spending out at the house. And we all know Gray is shit-faced when it comes to her."
Nathan had to concede that point. He'd seen Gray after he'd left the hospital after being shot because Faith was missing. He'd refused treatment, rest or anything else until she'd been found. It wasn't a sight he'd ever forget.
"Okay, so let's quit the gossip and get to work," Pop said. "Not that you make it worth a shit, but get us some more coffee going, Micah."