She lost count. Where was she again? One-fifteen? One-ten?
And then he straightened. Time’s up already? A sigh of relief—and maybe just a twinge of disappointment—gusted from her lungs, only to be dammed by his mouth. He kissed her hard enough to force her head back, granting him deeper access, and then he angled his head and swept his tongue between her lips to tangle with hers. Slick. Hot. Ravenous.
Her heart stumbled into a sprint. His chest scorched her br**sts. The cool metal of his belt buckle stamped her belly above the hot column of his erection. His thigh pressed between hers, creating a delicious friction against her center. She shifted her h*ps and pleasure bolted through her. Heat poured from him into her every pore, flooding each cell with hunger.
She wanted him. Wanted his touch, his possession, more of the driving need pulsing against her abdomen. No other man had ever aroused her to such an intense craving. No other man had ever wanted her with such obvious restrained hunger.
An annoying bleep penetrated her desire-fuddled brain. She ignored it, but Toby slowly lifted his head. She blinked, trying to gather her wayward thoughts, and tracked the sound to the watch in her hand—the hand currently tucked in the small of Toby’s back.
He wasn’t holding her and hadn’t needed to. She’d wound her arms around his middle and plastered herself against him.
She didn’t even remember moving. She snapped her arms back to her sides. Toby pried the watch from her numb fingers and silenced the annoying alarm.
Horrified by her lack of control, she staggered backward gasping for breath. One step. Two steps. Three. The coffee table bumped her calves, halting her.
“I—I have to g-go.”
Toby’s chest rose and fell as rapidly as hers. His dilated pupils almost obliterated his silvery-blue irises, and moisture from their kisses dampened his lips. “Stay.”
She wanted to. Dear heavens, she wanted to. But she couldn’t risk letting her hormones make her decisions. Shaking her head, she skirted the table, scooped up her purse and backed toward the door. “I can’t do this.”
“Amelia—” He lifted his hand and moved forward.
She clutched the doorknob so tightly her knuckles ached. “You’re too much like my father, Toby. And I, apparently, am too much like my mother. Trust me, that is a horrible combination, and I won’t end up like them.”
Six
Amelia had barely slept. How could she when she’d realized she was no better than her mother at controlling her impulses?If Toby’s watch alarm hadn’t gone off, she would very likely have ended up in his bed, and that would have carried her one-hundred-eighty-degrees away from her goal of finding a gentle lover who would cherish her forever, one who wouldn’t undercut her self-esteem with low blows and cutting insults or thoughtlessly risk his life.
And this time she couldn’t blame her lack of restraint on alcohol or a disastrous week. This time the weakness lay solely within her.
She sat at the table in her suite Friday morning sipping café au lait and staring blindly at the Mediterranean while waiting for her roommates to join her. She loved their morning gatherings. As an only child, she’d experienced nothing like the camaraderie she’d found with Candace, Madeline and Stacy. Would she have felt a little less like the rope in a tug-of-war match if she’d had siblings to share the load?
Doesn’t matter. The past is over. Focus on the future.
Candace wandered in looking pale and queasy. “G’morning, Amelia. You know, mothering us is not a maid-of-honor duty, but bless you for calling room service.”
“Good morning.” Amelia poured her friend a cup of steaming hot chocolate and pushed it across the table along with a plate of toast. Candace sipped with her eyes closed and then cautiously nibbled her bread.
Once Candace had regained some color, Amelia asked, “What’s on the agenda today? I didn’t see anything on the calendar except my massage this afternoon.”
“We have to make a final decision about bridesmaid dresses this morning. Afterward we’ll go to the Oceanographic Museum and then have lunch. Afternoon’s your own. We’ll meet up again at midnight for an excursion to Jimmy’z, the dance club in the Monte Carlo Sporting Club. The place is famous for celebrity sightings. You ought to love that.”
“Sounds fun.” Even if she wasn’t exactly the clubbing type.
“You’ve seen the museum. You can skip it if you want.”
“Will Toby be joining us?”
“He’s spending his morning with Vincent’s personal trainer. I don’t know about tonight, but I’d guess with his equilibrium issues, dancing will not be high on his agenda.”
An entire day without temptation. Tension drained from Amelia’s limbs. “Then I’ll join you. The museum is worth a second visit.”
Stacy wandered in and headed for the coffeepot. “Hi.”
The women chorused a greeting. Seconds later the outer suite door opened and a sweat-dampened Madeline entered wearing her running gear. She lifted her hand in a silent wave and crossed to the minifridge for a bottle of water.
“Working up a sweat with your sexy tour guide?” Candace asked.
“No. I was running off some of the rich food we’ve been scarfing down.”
“That’s too bad. I was hoping—”
Madeline groaned. “Please don’t start matchmaking. Not everyone is looking for hearts and flowers and a husband.”
Candace shook her head. “How can you not believe in love in a place like this?”
Madeline sipped her water. “I never said Monaco’s not a very cool place. I can see why Vincent likes living here when he’s not away on a job. But, despite the castles and princes, I’m not going to get caught up in the fairy tale.”
“You could fall for your sexy tour guide,” Amelia teased.
“Not a chance.”
Amelia’s heart ached for her friend. “Madeline, I hate to see you give up on love just because of one bad experience.”
Madeline pointed the bottle in Amelia’s direction. “Before you condemn me for not believing in forever, look in the mirror. You don’t do long-term relationships either. In fact, you are the queen of short-term.”
Taken aback, Amelia blinked. “What are you talking about? I was engaged.”
Madeline flashed an apologetic smile toward Candace and then settled across the table from Amelia. “You know I love you like a sister, right?”
Uh-oh. Anything following that preface wouldn’t be good. But she’d known and trusted Madeline almost as long as she had Candace. Bracing herself, Amelia set down her coffee cup. “Yes.”
“I see a pattern in your relationships that I’m not sure you recognize.”
“A pattern?” she parroted.
“You knew Neal’s poor prognosis before Candace introduced you and yet you fell for him.”
“Well, yes, but—”
Madeline held up a hand. “And you knew the Navy recruiter you dated before Neal was due to be reassigned in six months. We know you’re not going to move away from Charlotte and your family as long as your father’s alive, so a future as a military spouse was a no-go.”
“Okay, so that’s two, but—”
“Before the lieutenant you dated a visiting university professor who was only in town for summer session. And don’t get me started on the guys you dated in college. You only went out with the ones scheduled to graduate and move out of state soon.”
Amelia fought the urge to squirm in her chair. Was it true? Had she unintentionally sabotaged her relationships? Of course not. She wanted happily ever after and she’d been actively searching for Mr. Right.
“I believe in love and marriage,” she protested.
“And yet you repeatedly chose dead-end relationships.”
“She’s right,” Candace added, shocking Amelia further. “I didn’t see it until Madeline pointed it out, but you’ve always chosen guys who aren’t going to be around long-term.”
Panic seized Amelia’s throat. “No. She’s not right. I believe in fate, destiny, kismet and all that stuff. There’s a soul mate out there for everyone, and I’m actively searching for mine. I’ve just been…unfortunate.”
“I think you’re afraid to commit,” Madeline speculated.
“I’m not afraid. I’m careful. Love comes from the head first and then the heart follows. You have to find a person who’s like you in temperament and goals, one who wants the same things out of life, and then you carefully move forward. Like Candace and Vincent have. Like Neal and I did.”
“What about opposites attracting or sexual chemistry?” Stacy asked.
Amelia’s parents had been opposites. The working-class jock and the pampered honor student who’d tutored him in high school. Her mother’s dream of attending a private college and then medical school had died when she’d accidentally become pregnant. Amelia’s father had gone on to have the firefighter career he’d always wanted. The inequity had caused friction in the marriage.
“Once the novelty wears off, the things that initially attracted you will begin to annoy you, and love will turn to hate when the sacrifices become too great. Sexual attraction blinds you to those irreconcilable differences.”
“Are you saying you’d marry someone without sexual chemistry?” Candace asked in a carefully modulated voice.
Amelia tried not to cringe. She wouldn’t discuss her and Neal’s disappointing sex life with his sister. Besides, it hadn’t been Neal’s fault. He’d been dying, and you couldn’t expect a dying man to be good in bed. She selected her words carefully. “I’m saying sex is not the most important thing.”
“It’s in the top three, right behind love and trust,” Candace insisted. “If the sex is bad, the rest falls apart.”
“Franco and I have, um…chemistry,” Stacy said with a blush, and Amelia wanted to kiss her for drawing the fire to herself and away from Amelia. “But we’ve agreed our…er…relationship will only last as long as I’m in Monaco. I’ve never had a relationship based solely on sex before. It seems…” She shrugged.
“Safe?” Madeline suggested. “You’ll have a great time and he won’t break your heart because you know it’s going to end here. It’s a win-win situation.”
Stacy chewed her lip. “I guess so.”
Madeline’s emerald gaze skipped between Stacy and Amelia. “You two may be going about it in different ways, but you’re both protecting your heart with short-term affairs. Same as me.”
She covered Amelia’s hand. “You say you believe in romance, but I see you making sure no guy sweeps you off your firmly planted feet. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as you recognize what you’re doing.”
Could Madeline possibly be right?
Her friend rose and pitched her empty water bottle into the trash. “Amelia, we all know Toby’s a player, but you two strike enough sparks off each other to light California. The way I see it, you have a choice. You can either live in the moment and enjoy the electricity while it lasts or play it safe and hold out for a fairy tale that might never happen. The question is, which one will you regret the most?”