His words chiseled away another chunk of her confidence that giving up her baby was the right thing to do. A cold knot formed in her middle. “A baby will make them happy.”
“Are you absolutely certain of that? A baby is more likely to increase their problems than erase them.”
She couldn’t respond. Not the way she wanted to.
“My lawyer claims breaking the contract will be almost impossible given the legal precedents already set, and changing my mind could tear my family apart.”
“Or it could set your sister free from an obligation she no longer wants to keep.” The certainty in his voice and in his cobalt eyes ignited a spark of hope in her heart, but she was afraid to fan the flame only to have it snuffed out.
He’d voiced her greatest fear and her greatest hope—something she hadn’t even allowed herself to put into words. Was he right? Did Beth want out of their agreement now that they knew the baby wasn’t Patrick’s? Was that why she kept delaying the announcement? Nicole couldn’t blame her sister if she’d changed her mind. Maybe Beth was sticking by her promise out of a sense of duty.
Nicole wanted to keep her baby with every fiber of her being, ached for it to have two parents who would love it, cherish it and want the best for it. For a moment in this perfect little cabin in the trees she believed she and Patrick could be those parents. Maybe not in the traditional, married sense, but parents who shared custody and love of the child they’d created.
But she’d given her word, and she would not break it unless Beth and Patrick wanted out of their agreement. Otherwise, she could lose everything. Her job. Her family. And her baby.
And then she’d have nothing and no one.
Nine
O ver. Finally.
Nicole closed her file and exhaled in relief Friday afternoon as the Patrick Architectural team of Ryan and his father exited her office.She’d barely been able to concentrate during her first consult with them. Simple facts had been hard to retrieve. Not that anyone who didn’t know her well would have noticed, but it had been a constant struggle to stick to her planned pitch because every time Ryan had made eye contact, her thoughts had scattered like fall leaves. And her mind would wander off to replay the kisses she’d shared with him and the carrot of custody he’d dangled in front of her two days ago. Two days in which Beth had avoided Nicole’s calls and hadn’t come into the office.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
Ryan’s voice brought her head up. He’d stopped in her doorway instead of following his father out. “I’m sorry?”
“At the party.”
“Party? What par—” Surprise made her breath catch. With all the upheaval in her life she’d completely forgotten the annual black-tie affair for Hightower Air’s employees and clients was tonight. “Of course. It slipped my mind.”
One dark eyebrow lifted. “Have a date?”
Trick question? Ah, but Ryan wouldn’t know. “I never take a date to company affairs.”
“Why?”
“Because I talk shop and it bores most men to sleep.”
“It won’t bore me. I’ll pick you up.”
Exactly what she didn’t need. “Thank you, but I have to be there early to make sure everything is ready.”
“Beth and Patrick should see us as a united team.”
The battle resumed inside her, but she knew herself well enough to know that if Beth and Patrick truly wanted this child, then she would not deny them their hearts’ desire even though it would break hers. She shifted in her pumps, afraid to commit, but very aware of what she’d lose if she did…and if she didn’t.
“I haven’t decided to take that route yet. I need to talk to them first.”
“No point in both of us going stag. I don’t mind arriving early.”
He moved into her personal space, crowding her against the leather sofa where they’d concluded their meeting. Her calves pressed the cool upholstery. His heat, his tangy scent and his sheer physical presence overwhelmed her. Her brain screamed a warning. She couldn’t remember ever being this aware of any other person in her life. He felt it, too. She could see the awareness in his parted lips and expanding pupils. Her pulse skipped. She swallowed the flood of moisture in her mouth.
“I have to be there at eight.” She wanted to slap her hand over the errant orifice. Where had that come from? What had happened to the polite refusal she’d intended? She hadn’t meant to imply an invitation with her tone.
“I’ll pick you up at twenty before.” Ryan held her gaze without touching her, but he might as well. Every cell in her being tap-danced with excitement.
She wished he would leave.
She wished he would kiss her.
She wished she knew what she wanted. Being wishy-washy ticked her off, and everything about their complicated situation confused her.
“Good job today. You impressed the hell out of my father when you took him through the plane and covered all the technical jargon. Brains and beauty are one hell of a potent combo. You and HAMC have certainly exceeded our expectations to this point.”
His praise took her aback and warmed her cheeks. She decided to focus on the business component of his comment rather than the personal reaction she couldn’t understand. “Thank you, Ryan. I hope we continue to do so.”
It was her job to orient her clients to their new aircraft, to walk them through the aircraft they’d chosen and to explain the services HAMC could provide—and of course to offer more services which could be had for an additional fee. Few ever bothered to express gratitude for her hard work. Meeting their requirements was her job, one they took for granted she’d do successfully. She only heard about it when she failed to meet their expectations which, thank goodness, was a rarity.
Which brought her back to that strangely intimate moment in the tree house. For a moment there she’d felt closer to him than to anyone ever in her life. He knew her darkest secret and didn’t despise her for it.
Ryan reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small wrapped package the size of a paperback book. “For you.”
A gift? She took it with reservations and tore the glossy yellow paper. A white picture frame hand-painted with pastel-colored baby blocks held the ultrasound photograph the doctor had snapped at the moment when their baby’s little fingers had wiggled almost as if he or she had been waving hello. Emotion welled inside her. Nicole pressed her fingers to her lips to stop the sob pushing its way up her throat.
“That’s our son. Or daughter.” His voice had a rough quality as if he were as emotionally affected as she was.
She inhaled a ragged breath. Her eyes and throat burned as she traced the shadowy outline. She suspected he’d be the kind of father who offered praise and encouragement along with his time and guidance. The kind she’d always wanted. The kind every child deserved.
“Thank you, Ryan.”
“You’re welcome.” She jerked at the contact of his fingertip on her cheek and then he dragged a hot sweep of temptation that stopped at the corner of her mouth. Her lips parted. She tasted salt and realized he’d mapped a tear she hadn’t noticed escaping.
“I’ll see you tonight.” He turned abruptly and strode out of her office, leaving her with a hurricane of emotion twisting through her system and an ache for…something she couldn’t name.
She clutched the frame to her chest. He couldn’t have given her anything more meaningful. And she didn’t miss the symbolism. He wanted to give her their baby.
“Tell me you bought a killer new dress for this thing.” Lea’s quip jerked her out of her trance.
Nicole wasn’t ready to share Ryan’s paternity yet because that would lead to twenty questions—questions she didn’t have the answers to yet. She turned toward her desk, surreptitiously wiping her cheeks, and slipped the photo into a drawer.
“Nicole, are you okay?”
“Yes. But I’m embarrassed to confess that with the pregnancy and all, I forgot about the gala.”
“Well, now you have a hot date with a steamy guy who happens to be loaded and doesn’t mind that you’re pregnant with another man’s baby. We have work to do, girlfriend.”
She winced at Lea’s misconception, but didn’t have the fortitude to explain the situation at the moment.
She mentally searched her closet and discarded her entire wardrobe. What was wrong with her? Anything she had would have been suitable. Ten minutes ago.
But not anymore.
“I guess you’re right. I don’t have anything to wear.”
Lea threw an arm around her shoulders. “We have no time to shop. We’ll swing by my place. It’s on your way home. Lucky for you I’m an outlet sales addict, and I buy more than I need. I have a ruby-red Calvin Klein halter dress that will look great on you.”
Lea, an admitted shopaholic, had gushed about the dress for a week after she’d found it on the clearance rack. “I can’t take that. You haven’t worn it yet.”
“Trust me, the pleated sweetheart neckline will look better on you with your…accentuated assets than it does on my flat chest. Ryan can’t help but notice those babies.” Lea’s nod indicated Nicole’s pregnancy-swollen br**sts, and Nicole groaned.
“Lea, stop matchmaking.”
“Who’s matchmaking? I’m just stating the obvious. I need a cold shower after seeing that little exchange between you two. You’re going to look hot, and he’s going to notice.”
That was not what Nicole needed since resisting temptation in the form of Ryan Patrick was at the top of her list.
Nicole surreptitiously glanced at her Cartier watch. Her evening had been a total failure thus far. Not by anyone else’s standards, but by hers.Her goal tonight while having her entire family in the same room was to remind herself of what she’d lose if she chose to be selfish.
Instead, as she stood on the balcony overlooking the elegant ballroom below and scanned the guests, seeking out her siblings scattered far and wide across the travertine floor, she realized how alone each of them was in the crowd.
Trent, the oldest and company CEO, stood with his babe de jour and the president of HAMC’s largest client. Trent’s twin, Brent, with his usual Scotch in hand, was nowhere near his pregnant wife. No surprise there.
Beth and Patrick were side by side, but at the same time miles apart. When, why and how had that happened? Had the stress of infertility caused their emotional separation or was it something more? Would the baby fix the situation or make it worse? Nicole needed to look Beth in the eye and ask if she wanted out of their agreement, but her sister had been avoiding her.
You would have thought having to rely on each other while growing up would have brought the Hightower siblings closer and made them friends as well as family. It hadn’t. Other than the same parents and the same employer, they had nothing in common.
Nicole wanted a tight familial connection for her child. On her first date with Patrick he’d taken her to his family reunion. She’d seen what families should be like and craved it ever since.