“I used to do this for the Bureau all the time,” my grandfather said.
“Do what?”
“Restore memories.”
“Is that why my dad wanted to work there? Because you did?”
“Yes.”
If he did this for the Bureau, he must’ve been a very capable Healer. I had nothing to worry about. And we were having a normal conversation about it. That meant he wasn’t completely insane, didn’t it?
“I’ll never forget the haunted screams.”
“What?”
“Why don’t you sit down while I do this?”
“No. Wait. Is this safe?”
“Of course. I’m an expert.”
I sat down, and for the first time realized the box didn’t have a floor either. The cold cement seeped through my pants, numbing my legs. My grandfather’s hands touched my head. I wondered what memories I was going to get back. Laila had said she had only ever Erased me once, but maybe I was about to find out otherwise.
My grandpa smoothed my hair and settled his hands more firmly on my head. I took a deep breath, and my phone chimed again.
My nerves and the persistent texter caused me to yank my head out of his reach and pull my phone out of my pocket. “Hold on. Just let me see what they need.”
I read the text from Laila: I did it. I learned how to restore memories . . . sort of. Just in time for my trip out there. Oh, and I talked to Bobby.
“What?” I pushed myself to standing. “Sorry, hold on, Grandpa. I need to talk to my friend.”
“I have all day.”
I smiled. “Okay, just hold on.” I exited the box and dialed Laila’s number.
She answered after half a ring. “I thought that might get you to call me.”
I went inside, shutting the glass door behind me. “Oh, good. So that means you didn’t talk to Bobby?”
“No, I did. I just needed you to call me. Things are happening here. So aren’t you excited? I can restore your memory. I don’t need a lot of praise, but a little wouldn’t hurt.”
I glanced to the sliding door, where my grandfather stood with a watering can, dumping water on his plants out of the top instead of using the spout. “I might not need you to restore my memory.”
“Well, someone better need me to restore their memory, because I went to a lot of work figuring out how. It involved kissing guys I didn’t want to kiss and the whole works.”
“There’s a guy in the world you don’t want to kiss? This is big news. He must be over fifty.”
“Funny. He’s actually our age. So there.”
“Do I know him?”
She hummed a little and tried to say casually, “I think so. Connor Bradshaw.”
“Wait. Connor? The guy who almost hit me with his motorcycle?”
“Yes.”
“Why wouldn’t you want to kiss him? He’s gorgeous.”
“Because he’s a cocky, uncontrollable, frustrating idiot. He never listens to me. It’s annoying. Plus, he thinks he’s so smart. And he kind of is, which bugs me so much.”
I didn’t know why it took me so long, but the realization exploded in my chest. “OH!”
“What? Why are you yelling?”
Laila had never felt that strongly about anyone. If someone annoyed her, she moved on. “You love him. You love Connor Bradshaw!”
“Stop yelling. I do not. I’m annoyed with him because I can’t Erase his memories, not because I like him.”
“Love him. This is crazy. I never thought I’d see the day. My closed-off little Laila has finally opened her heart to love.”
“You know, if you were here you’d be seconds away from being punched.”
“So sweet.”
“Moving on. Why don’t you want me to restore your memory?”
“Long story, but I found my grandpa. He’s alive. And he’s a Healer. So, I guess he can do it.”
“Whoa! There are so many things you just said right now that I need to comment on, but first and most important, do not let your grandpa touch your brain.”
“Why not?”
“Because Connor said it’s like pure torture to have a Healer give you your memories back. I guess more than the memories come, and it’s really intense and horrible. They use it in interrogations and stuff.”
Suddenly, the “haunted screams” comment my grandfather said made a lot more sense. It was hard to believe he was willing to do that to me. I whirled around to look at him. He was staring into his obviously empty watering can and shaking it. My initial anger softened. He wasn’t exactly all there. I guess I couldn’t blame him for that. “It’s a good thing you don’t know how to leave me alone when you want to talk, because I was literally seconds away from him restoring me.”
“Once again my selfishness is rewarded. I’m never going to learn my lesson.”
“Let me call you back and you can fill me in on the Bobby stuff. And I’ll fill you in on all the back-to-life Grandpa and Trevor stuff. I better leave before he tries to feed me again.”
“Okay. Call me when you get home.”
I hung up and looked to see my grandpa standing inside, staring at me. I jumped. He was so quiet.
“Are you ready?”
“I changed my mind. My friend is going to help me.”
“You don’t trust me?”
“No. It’s not that. It’s just . . .” My vision blurred for a second, and I rubbed my eyes. My brain was tired. I was angry that my dad had kept something this big from me. I was tired of the lies, and I was tired of worrying about my ability.
“It’s just what?”
“I don’t know you very well anymore.”
He looked down at the coffee table, and I followed his gaze to where the modified toaster sat. Metal wires were wrapped around knobs and then extended like antennae straight up.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It tells me if their devices are anywhere near.”
I didn’t believe I’d almost let him Heal my brain. “And are they? Near?”
“Not today.”
“Good. Then I better head home.”
He hugged me tight, and I felt guilty for leaving. Guilty that he seemed so lonely. I wondered if my dad visited him often.
CHAPTER 26
Laila: Brace yourself. I’m coming.
The line of people was moving fast, but for once I didn’t want a line to move fast. At least it wasn’t moving as fast as the twelve-hour pass line. Those people just had to list a reason for leaving and get a palm scan. They were probably mostly commuters. My weekend pass line was a little more paperwork.
I looked down at my phone again. No new messages. I quickly typed So? Are you coming or what?
“I’m here,” Connor said from behind me. The way my entire body reacted to that single statement reaffirmed why I needed him to come with me. He was the only one who could bring the emotional power I needed to restore Addie’s memory. I tried to get those emotions under control. The last time I’d seen him on the train swirled through my mind, and my weakness unnerved me. I bit the inside of my cheek hard, then whirled around.
He stood, arms crossed, bag slung over his shoulder. His hair was a bit messy, but his face was free of the normal grease stains, which drew my attention to his muddy green eyes.
“So you’re coming?”
He held up his phone, my text on the screen. “‘Bring your ancient truck and meet me at the Tower at nine. Pack for the weekend.’”
Huh. When he read it out loud like that, it made me realize how little explanation I’d given him. “I actually just need your truck, but I figured you wouldn’t loan it to me, so I guess you’ll have to tag along.”
He reached into his pocket and held a set of keys out to me. I took them, and he started to walk away. Why did he have to call my bluff? Stupid boy.
“Wait. No.”
He stopped.
“I . . .” Need you too. “. . . don’t know how to drive it.” A lie. I was sure I could easily figure it out. It was probably automatic, but I had even practiced a stick shift in one of the simulators at school when I was bored one day.
“Where exactly are we going?”
“To see Addie. There’s a football game tomorrow. The holiday bowl.”
He seemed to be waiting for me to explain why this was important.
“I haven’t seen her in weeks.”
He got an amused smirk on his face, then. “You can’t do it without me.”
“Do what?”
“Restore her memory.”
“Because no one frustrates me quite as much as you do.” Totally true. “Soon, the thought of your face will do it, but now, it seems I need your annoying presence as well.”
He held out his hand, and I dropped his car keys onto his open palm. “This trip will be good for my research,” he said, his smirk still in place.
Why couldn’t I get him angry? He was always so calm. “I’m only doing this for Addie.”
His eyes searched mine, and then he gave a small nod.
We were silent while the line inched forward. He stared off to the side, and I followed his gaze to the sign that said LONG-TERM AND PERMANENT PASSES, THIRD FLOOR, BY APPOINTMENT ONLY. Did he wish he were on the third floor instead?
He drove with one hand on top of the steering wheel and the other arm resting on the open window. The wind whistled through the cab and made it almost impossible to talk when we reached high speeds. I was not looking forward to four hours of this.
When we were almost to Addie’s, I came to a realization. “You’ve never been on the Outside before.” The way he’d been taking everything in, as though he was seeing it for the first time, made me think this.
His knuckles went white on the steering wheel, but he didn’t say anything to deny or confirm my observation.
“Look at me, making one of your dreams come true. You and your Norm truck driving around Normville.”
“You’re practically a god.”
I shoved his shoulder, producing a smile on his face. “Half god, but whatever.”
We pulled up to Addie’s, and Connor unloaded the bags from the truck bed. I knocked on the door, and she answered. A little piece of me fell back into place. She gave me a big hug, clinging to me for a bit longer than normal. Maybe she actually needed me in her life as well.
“Hi, Connor.”
“Hey, it’s good to see you when I’m not about to run you over.”
She laughed. “I know, right? Come in. Let me show you where you can stay.” She led Connor to a room on one end of the hall, then the two of us went to her room while he settled in.
She turned to me. “So you have a letter for me?”
I retrieved it out of my purse and handed it to her. A huge burden lifted from my shoulders as I did. Her eyes took in the writing on the front. She even ran her hand along the numbers. Then she opened it. I already knew what it said, so I watched her face for her reaction. She gnawed on her lip.
“I promised a person, someone I cared about, that I wouldn’t Erase my Norm path. You didn’t tell me that part.” She also didn’t seem surprised by that part.