“Or me,” Trevor said from next to me.
My grandpa sighed. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry. This is my fault.” It couldn’t be a coincidence that my grandpa had managed to avoid them for years and the moment I found him, they’re suddenly interested too.
“It’s fine. I’m just in their system now. They check up on me.”
“You gave them free access to your apartment?”
“Were they inside?”
“Yes.”
“How do you know?”
“I saw them.”
“Where are you?”
I started to say, On your back patio, but thought better of it. If the CC was monitoring my grandpa’s apartment, I needed to be careful here. “With some friends. I’ll come see you in a few days, okay?”
“Perfect.”
“Be careful, Grandpa, okay? Don’t trust them.”
He chuckled. “You don’t have to tell me that.”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon, then. Bye.”
We hung up.
“Now that we know Grandpa is okay, can we get out of here?” Duke asked, trying the door and proving it was still locked. He looked like a caged animal, pacing the small balcony.
“So if my grandpa is okay, then what did ‘he’s taken care of’ mean?”
Laila nodded her head to Trevor. “Maybe they meant him.”
“Oh. Right.” I had almost forgotten Trevor’s memories had been Erased.
“Can we discuss this when we are off this tiny balcony?” Duke asked.
“We have two options out of here,” Trevor spoke up. “Down two balconies . . .” He pointed over the edge to the balcony below us. “Or over one.” He nodded to the balcony of the lady we had lied to earlier.
“I don’t think Short-Skirt is going to let us in again,” Laila said. “Well, she’d let Duke in, but that won’t help us. Plus, I saw the way Trevor got over here, and I don’t think I’d make it.”
“Addison,” Trevor said. “Which way will work?”
“Oh.” A choice. Why didn’t I think of that? I quickly Searched the two options. “Down. Duke first. Trevor last. One balcony at a time.”
“Perfect,” Trevor said, trusting my answer completely.
Duke walked to the rail and Laila followed, directing him where to place his feet. As he climbed over, he looked directly at me. “I still don’t believe you told him. Not smart.” Then he dropped down.
“Can you get in trouble?” Trevor asked me.
“Yes.”
He nodded, then stepped up to the railing. Duke was already on the balcony below us, and Laila was climbing over. Trevor took her hands and helped lower her down. Then he looked at me. “You ready?”
I stepped up to the railing, and he put his hands on my waist to help me over. An energy buzzed through my body, and I had to stop myself from hugging him. I had to remind myself he didn’t remember our other life. I climbed over the railing, standing on the small ledge on the outside of the metal bars. Below me Duke held his hands up, waiting to grab onto my legs. In front of me, Trevor placed his hands between mine on the metal rail.
“I want to know you,” he said, finishing the sentence that was interrupted in the box. “I need to.”
CHAPTER 32
Laila: Everyone is falling apart.
I knocked on Connor’s door. We had about six hours to make it home before we risked a citation. We had only applied for a weekend pass. Why wasn’t he ready?
He opened his door, sleepy eyed. His hair stuck out at odd angles, and the room behind him was dark.
“You were asleep? It’s almost noon.”
“Is it?” He ran a hand down his face.
“We need to go.”
His eyes were bloodshot, and he rubbed at them. “I’ll be ready in five.”
I took a step back, ready to walk away, but forced myself to ask, “Are you okay?”
He offered a fake smile. “Perfect.”
The car ride home was quiet—tense, even. His silence was so loud it made me want to scream just to make noise. I caught him glancing over at me and used it as an excuse to talk.
“What happened yesterday?”
“Absolutely nothing,” he said softly.
I was trying to understand what he meant by that when I saw his bloodshot eyes again. “Are you hungover?” That would explain a lot.
“No. I’m not.”
I wondered if Connor ever told me the truth. “I won’t judge you if you are,” I mumbled.
“I’m not.”
“Fine. Whatever. I mean, you left all day yesterday. You weren’t around when we got home. If you were out partying or something, that would at least explain what you were doing.”
He sounded tired when he said, “I didn’t realize I was under investigation, but it sounds like you gave me an alibi.”
I curled my hands into fists. “Connor. I was just asking a question. I didn’t know your life was top secret. Excuse me for being curious.”
We were both quiet for a while when he finally said, “That’s the problem, isn’t it?”
I sighed. Now I was tired. “What’s the problem?”
“The only reason you want to know is to satisfy your curiosity. You can’t stand not knowing something.”
“Well, I’m glad you know me so well.” I crossed my arms and stared out the window for the rest of the trip, my throat tight. I didn’t need to know anything about him. That was fine with me. When he stopped in front of my house, I slammed the door to his truck. If I never saw him again, I’d be happy. Not thinking about him ever again would make me even happier but seemed impossible. He constantly circled through my mind. Between thoughts of him and worrying about Addie, my mind was constantly occupied.
On my third day home from Addie’s, my brain wouldn’t shut up about what the CC would do to Addie if they found out we’d told Trevor. Would they, like the stupid DAA, think it was because she was unstable like Bobby? Did they think that meant she’d blab to the world about the Compound? The thought made me angry. Addie was the opposite of Bobby in all ways. I tried to calm myself. We had all made a pact not to talk about it. The CC thought Trevor was Erased, and they said Addie had all but passed whatever lame test of loyalty they were administering. Sure, they were monitoring her grandfather now, but he seemed extremely careful. It would be fine. My preoccupied mind didn’t register how eerily quiet my house was when I first stepped inside, arms full of groceries. It wasn’t until I put the milk away and shut the refrigerator door that it hit me.
“Hello?” I called out. “Where is everyone?”
I checked my dad’s room. He wasn’t there. Then I went to my brothers’ room. It was empty. Just as I was about to walk out, though, I heard whimpering in the closet.
I slid open the door to find Eli, cowering in the corner. I cursed under my breath. “What’s wrong?” I dropped to my knees and crawled into the closet with him. “What is it, Eli? Talk to me.”
“Stop. Go away.”
“No. I’m here now. You’re going to be fine. Did he hurt you? Look at me, let me see your face. Do you need ice?”
“Stop.”
I tried to pull his hands away from his face. I was going to kill my dad.
“Stop it! Stop thinking! Don’t think anymore!”
“What?”
“I don’t want to be in your head. I don’t want to be in his head. I want to be alone. Leave me alone.” He took a pillow from the floor and pushed it over his face and ears. “Please,” he whimpered. “Stop thinking.”
I tried to make my mind go blank like I often did when my dad was around. Nothing. A blank canvas. An empty screen. A gray night.
“I can hear that. Go away.” He started rocking back and forth, whimpering again.
“You didn’t get off the new program?” I asked, pulling the pillow away and forcing him to look at me. His eyes were haunted. “Eli. Look at me.”
He blinked and focused on my eyes.
“Have you been doing the new program? The one I gave you?”
He nodded over and over.
“Where is it? Where is your card?”
He pointed to his dresser. I backed out of the closet and saw his tablet sitting on the dresser. I took the card out of the slot and unclipped the small chip, sliding it into my pocket. “I’ll be back in a while.” I started to leave but then went back to the closet, pulled him into a tight hug, and whispered, “I’m going to fix this. You’re going to be okay.”
I stood and walked out. Was this why everyone had left? To give him space? I stumbled back to my truck, rolling my ankle when my heel sank in the grass. I tripped forward, grabbing the door handle to keep me from falling. A sob escaped from my tight-pressed lips. How could I have done this to my little brother? I was supposed to look out for him. Another sob came, and I pressed my forehead to the truck window.
No. I couldn’t lose it now. I had to help him. I clenched my teeth and climbed into my truck.
It took me ten minutes to get to Face’s house, ignoring the traffic signs that seemed more like suggestions today and stopping only when it was absolutely necessary. I pounded on his door until a teenage boy answered. His dark hair was spiked, he wore a white tank with holey jeans, and he held a lidded Styrofoam cup with a chewed-up straw sticking out the top. When he saw me, he raised an eyebrow and put one hand high on the door frame.
I almost asked for Face, because I didn’t see the blurry spot on his neck, but then he said, “Laila.”
So this was his real face. He was so young. “What is this?” I asked through my teeth, holding up the chip.
“It’s everything you asked for and more,” he said in the same voice all his faces used.
“I didn’t ask for the more. My brother is sick. Very sick.”
“Sick how?”
“He’s overwhelmed. His ability came on too fast. He doesn’t know how to deal with it. And he’s getting more than he should. Everything.”
Face smiled. His real face was distracting. Too young. Too attractive. Too something. “You’re welcome. I just gave your brother his full ability.”
“He shouldn’t have his full ability yet. That’s something he should grow into.”
“Not true. The DAA tries to administer an ability slowly with blocks and suppressors. I gave it to him all at once. The natural way is somewhere in the middle. Now your brother is at his full power and can learn how to deal with that with his young mind. The DAA thinks their way is better. I would argue my way is better.”
“Right now all I care about is making my brother better. So give me something to help him.”
“You have cash?”
“Face. Seriously. Help him.”
He sucked air between his teeth. “Yeah. Not gonna happen.” He took a drink from his chewed-up straw and then let the door slide shut between us.
I punched it, immediately regretting that action. My hand throbbed. “Please, Face,” I begged. “Please just help me.” I sank to the step and dropped my head to my knees.