Because I hadn’t thought of that.
Not once.
I had no idea why, though obviously a lot was happening.
I still hadn’t thought of that.
I was falling in love with him.
And evidence suggested he was doing the same with me.
But he couldn’t die.
And I definitely would.
Oh my God.
“We’re here,” Jian-Li said, and I jerked in surprise, blinking at Chen’s door. “Lilah, are you all right?”
I drew in a deep breath, pulling it together before I looked down at her. “Not really. Lots on my mind. But I figure I just need to find Abel and I’ll be okay.”
She studied me closely before she asked, “Are you sure?”
“Sure I’m sure,” I said on a smile I didn’t mean, but considering all that was happening, I hoped she didn’t read it as what it really was.
“Yes,” she agreed, squeezing my elbow before letting it go. “Find Abel. Then he’ll be okay too.”
God.
I bent to her and touched my cheek to hers, saying there, “Sleep well, Jian-Li.”
“I will. You do the same, Lilah,” she replied.
I moved away and she went into Chen’s room. I stood at the door and waved when he looked to it, catching me there. He lifted his hand and waved back.
Then I took off.
I checked Jabber’s room, but Abel was no longer there. So I hauled my ass to our bedroom.
Abel wasn’t there either.
I left and went in search of him.
Although I knew there were tons of people around, they all had to be busy because they weren’t bustling about the hallways. It took me a while of roaming the halls before I found someone to ask if they knew where Abel was.
I found her, a striking brunette with curling hair and fabulous blue eyes. She seemed on a mission, but I still flagged her to stop.
She did and I asked, “Uh, do you know where Abel is? Abel Jin. The—”
“I know who he is, Delilah, but I don’t know where he is. I’ll find out,” she said, lifted the cell in her hand, hit some buttons with her thumb, and put it to her ear. She asked. She nodded. She hit the phone with her thumb again and looked to me. “He’s in with Gregor. Bottom floor, south wing, three doors in on the outside from the main wing. You want me to take you there?”
“No, I think I got it,” I replied.
“I’m Stephanie, by the way. A friend of Lucien’s,” she shared.
“Oh, hi,” I said, sticking my hand out for her to take, which she did. “I’m, well, you know who I am.”
“Yeah.” She smiled, let me go, and her smile drifted away. “I’m very sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“I’ll let you go find your mate,” she went on.
I nodded and repeated, “Thanks.”
She said no more and kept walking.
I did too and found the third door on the outside on the first floor of the south wing.
It was slightly ajar and Abel’s voice was floating out of it.
His irate voice.
“We talked about this earlier.”
“Abel—”
I recognized that voice as Gregor’s.
I stopped.
Abel cut him off. “You give my mate this. You give her family this. Just two days to put someone they love to rest. The day after tomorrow, we’ll all sit down and make plans to save the world.”
His words kinda made me want to laugh, but I choked it back.
“There’s much to go over,” Gregor told him.
“Yeah, I remember that from the other fifteen times you said it to me,” Abel returned, and I leaned a shoulder against the wall, settling in for my man’s show.
I didn’t have my shoulder against the wall for long, because Gregor said, “Delilah is just outside.”
“I know,” Abel replied.
Of course. They smelled me. Or something.
Whatever.
I moved to the door and shoved it open.
“Hey, gents,” I greeted, but I was looking at Gregor because, for some reason, I couldn’t look at Abel.
“Delilah,” Gregor returned.
I moved close to Abel and only then did I look up at him.
So very beautiful.
It will give him much to cherish as he continues his immortal one when you’re gone.
He’d waited forever for me. Several forevers for a human.
I’d just waited one, and not a very long one.
Then I got him. And I’d have him until I died.
But he wouldn’t have me.
On that thought, I stared into his two-colored eyes and the rest of it came crashing down on me.
Crushing me.
Because he also wouldn’t have Jian-Li. Or Xun. Or Wei. Or Chen.
And he didn’t have all the ones who had gone before. All of the ones who’d raised him, made him son, brother, father.
He’d lost it all.
Repeatedly.
My stomach clutched so much I thought I might throw up, and I reached out a hand to grasp his hard.
“You okay, bao bei?” he asked, his features now suffused with concern.
So very, very beautiful.
“It’s just”—that came out hoarse, so I cleared my throat—“been a sucky day.”
“Yeah,” he whispered, tugging my hand to draw me nearer. He looked to Gregor. “We done?”
“Yes, Abel,” Gregor said on a sigh and turned his eyes to me. “I know it likely brings little relief to your sorrow, but we’ve made the arrangements as Abel instructed for your friend Snake. The boat will be in the bay tomorrow at sunset. If you can tell your family that’s when the ceremony will begin, I’ll leave you to them and see you tomorrow at the bay.”